Evidence of a wank, would you mention to DH?

[notquitesurewhat]

I came home this afternoon and found a mound of wet tissues on my nightstand, quite obvious what it was from! I am usually WFH and otherwise home with our DS (14 mos). DH is also WFH.

My libido is in the ground since DS was born and I’m not at all bothered about DH having a wank. I can count on one hand the times we’ve had sex in the last year (it’s quite painful for me since birth). But DH is quite patient and never presses me for sex or makes me feel guilty, still is affectionate with me without expecting it will lead to sex. So I’m glad he could take care of his needs whilst he had an afternoon to himself. I’m sure he does other times but just hasn’t left the evidence around.

Would you mention that you tidied up the nightstands to your DH? My instinct is not to say anything as I reckon he’d be mortified. But at the same time it was a bit gross and maybe he was trying to send some sort of message, or at the least it’s a way for me to discuss his sexual wants more?

Not sure what a night stand is to be honest- is that a bed side cabinet ?

god no

He could have least got rid of the evidence.

@notquitesurewhat

he sounds loving & considerate, so I'd assume it was forgetfulness rather than deliberate.

id only mention it if I wanted to discuss our sex life anyway.

i wouldn't mention it in a 'clean up after yourself' way unless it becomes habitual.

It sounds like leaving the tissues was a one off accident from someone who is generally considerate? In that case, I probably wouldn't mention it.

I wouldn’t bat an eyelid - what would you even say? Leave the tissues. He’ll clear them up. Having a wank is perfectly natural. I don’t quite understand what the issue is?

Definitely don't mention it, what he does with his own body in his own time is his business.

I can't imagine not saying anything. Either jokey or serious, but FGS clear up after your wanking seems entirely appropriate to me.

I would see this like the time I accidentally left a sanitary towel (used 😬) in the bathroom, DH simply binned it and never mentioned it. If he had brought it up I would’ve thought it ungracious and a bit unkind.

What a helpful and useful comment.

Don't say anything @notquitesurewhat !@notquitesurewhat !

@GoodnightAdeline yes I reckon that’s it, and I’m sure I’ve done similar! Or just thinking of all of the bloody mess he had to deal with postnatally.

sounds like everyone is in agreement, I’ll not mention it.

It definitely doesn’t sound deliberate if he is considerate of your low libido and never pressures you or expects more. This would be quite the change in behaviour. Whilst not particularly nice to discover, I’m sure it was accidental so I would just bin it and forget about it.

I'd probably make a joke of it.

I would say ‘please dispose of your spunky tissues’ as it’s pretty grim to leave them.

As is clearing up after changing sanitary towels, we’ve all had moments where we’ve become distracted or forgotten about it. If he was ejaculating all over the curtains and kitchen worktops I would agree but this was clearly an error. Just graciously let it go.

But a thought...would you not leave it for him to find and clean up?

This happened to me once and no, I didn't say anything, he would have been mortified. Having a wank is perfectly normal and happy for it to stay private on both sides!

I’d tell him to keep his wank socks to his side of the bedroom 🤣

I wouldn’t mention it for any other reason though, everyone wanks.

Strange he'd leave it on your bedside table and not his own. I'd leave it for a couple of days and hope he cleaned up after himself.

I have never left a sanitary towards for someone else to find/clear up and if I did, I'd expect to be told.

What I find oddest though is that any conversation is that difficult in a marriage. Just talk, I can't think of any subject that would be off limits with Dh.

Leave it. I would probably ask him to stop leaving his wank tissues around if he done it often.

What good could possibly come if you mentioning this to your husband? I think it would be really nasty to comment.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣Oh I’ve just burst out laughing at this.

I agree. It’s embarrassing and I’d let him off.

I didn’t leave it to be found. I took it out, realised there was no tissue to wrap it in before chucking, left it to get some then became distracted and then DH went to use the loo. Luckily he is gracious and just threw it away, no ‘conversation’ required. This is such a bizarre thing to feel people need to discuss unless it’s deliberate or all the time. Like what is there to say? Just found your jizzy tissues, omg I can’t believe you masturbate?

You would let wank tissues gather dust on your own bedside table for a couple of days?

I mean, each to their own but