Working full time with 3 kids- help

[LaylaSun77]

I am really struggling with 3 kids having just returned from maternity leave. I am finding the endless appointments, school events, homework’s, parties, just very difficult to manage on top of a full time demanding and professional job. My partner works full time aswell and We don’t have grandparents nearby. Can anyone in this situation offer any words of wisdom or life hacks which has helped them get through this same thing? We get our groceries delivered and have a cleaner come once a fortnight. The kids help out when they can we do a chipping in chart. I am emotionally and physically exhausted but I do need to work these hours at the present time for the income. Kids are age 11,9 & a baby who is 1. Thank you in advance for any encouragement and advice you can offer as to how I can get through this time. It is much appreciated.

Thank you. I do like my job and have worked hard to get to where I am. I do not think benefits are an option for me. I would not be able to pay the mortgage.

Divide and conquer.

If you are splitting the older kids between Primary and Secondary, then one of you takes full responsibility for one of these and the other the other two.

So dh sorts all admin to do with Secondary - dinner money, bus money, homework, forms signed, signing the homework diary, knowing the trips and when cookery ingredients are needed.

You then do all admin to do with Primary school. All of it. Don't even try and take on any info on the Secondary.

Split nursery drops and collects so you each do half. Either all the drops for A and all the collects for B, or stagger them according to working hours.

If you have the funds, get the kids on school dinner so no packed lunches. Get the nursery to provide meals for baby.

Easy evening meals, keep it simple. Nicer meals at weekends.

Take turns on parties. The other parent than has responsibility for the other kids that day. The party parent also takes on buying and wrapping a suitable gift.

Sorry to ask this, but surely you took your current situation into account and how it will change when planning for this 3rd child?

Lovely suggestion- have another child you can't afford leave work and live on benefits ...beggars belief

Thank you for the tips. These are great and was just what I was looking for. Hacks to make life a little more manageable.

This does not help the OP at all.

Sorry but it's a reasonable question to ask, and will help others who are also considering another child so they don't have the same stress as OP

Of course. The third child was wanted and planned and is loved and provided for. I just find it harder than I thought to manage to juggle everything day to day and asking for tips from anyone who has done this. I think it will get easier to manage with time. Baby teething etc will pass but it can be very demanding while working full time. It is hard to know what it’s really like until you are in the situation.

With a child minder. Who is lovely. But of course if the child is sick they cannot attend for 48 hours.. so lots of time off work has been needed. Thankfully I have annual leave to use and my employer is flexible. It is just myself really that finds it all very stressful juggling the demands of the kids plus work . I am sure there are many ways I could make things easier

Meal plan. Spend one evening coming up with a 4 week meal plan then stick to it. Easy meals during the week. Have one meal a week where you make a double portion and serve the second portion 2 days later.

Your older kids should be doing household chores. I find the easiest way is to have a one week roster. So they do certain jobs for one week then switch. Good jobs are - putting away clean dishes, putting away clean washing, putting away groceries.

Institute a 15 minute tidy rule. Everyone pitches in. Set an alarm for 15 minutes (or 10 or whatever) and everyone tidies up for that time. It’s amazing how much you can get done if everyone gets involved.

Use commuting time to respond to emails and pay bills. If you are dropping one DC at a party use the party time wisely. Run errands or to have quality one on one time with the other older DC. Go and have a milkshake together or something.

Buy a pack of birthday cards and some silver paper that can be used for any occasion.

Do you get a lunch break? Try and schedule all the appointments for yourself during that time.

Trade lie ins with your partner. You get one day each on the weekend.

It is a tough time. Hope these tips help

Also if your DP pulling their weight in covering child illnesses? They should be doing the bulk of this while you re-establish yourself at work

That is an unpleasant remark.

I feel your pain, similar situation (although I do at least get to work more flexibly over school hols but term time is very intense). 4 DC at 3 different schools, it has been quite an adjustment.

Do things as far in advance as you can would be my tip. I'm quite a paper person so have a family calendar in the kitchen. Most Augusts I find a day and put every single date I can find on the school websites onto it. And then update as letters etc come in. That way I know if we need to cover any childcare as far in advance as possible and who needs to be where when (although there are always last minute ones).

I also have a huge whiteboard in the kitchen which I mark up for the week ahead. Again, I can see at a glance what's coming up,so can the DC and they can add any things I've forgotten.

No matter how much arguing it takes (DC3, am looking at you....) get someone else to load/unload the dishwasher, make sure they all clear/scrape plates from the table and any other tasks you can find (replenishing loo roll is strangely popular). Meal plan, delivery pass for 2'deliveries per week and just cut down on everything else for a while if you can.

And prioritise sleep. Not easy with a little one but it makes such a difference.

Get all the family involved in cleaning the house every Saturday kids included - except the baby of course. Batch cook and freeze a weeks worth of meals on Sunday. Just accept the house will be untidy during the week.

You chose to have three children. You’ll have to muddle through, taking the rough with the smooth. Just like everyone else who works and chose to have children.
You're not on your own. Plenty manage the best way they can. It’s not forever

You're imagining that, actually. PP is entitled to her opinion. She wasn't knocking everyone on benefits.

Prioritise sleep.
Put some things aside to try to have a good nine hours every night.
When cooking, cook double and freeze or pop in fridge for tomorrow.
Routinely try to have everyone in family wearing clothes for two days. (not underwear) Keep up with washing and folding.

Don't say YES to everything. The kids don't need to attend every party. Have one day every weekend for catching up - catch up on chores, sleep, cooking etc. Don't over plan socialising on that day.

Buy from second hand shops first to try to spend as little as possible. Save money for holiday childcare, babysitters, ironing, cleaners, kids' holiday camps so you are more time rich.

I only survive by working from home 2 days a week where I mix chores into my day. Also batch cooking.
it will get easier as they get older I promise!

And yes to putting time aside at the weekend for domestic stuff, try not to be busy both weekend days as someone said above

My honest answer is that I dropped my hours. Things were so much better for our family with me going down to 4 days at work, with me using my day off to arrange medical appointments, run errands, and take an hour for myself to exercise.

Do you have a spare room? If so get an au pair.

thats what we did in a similar situation. Baby still went to nursery but if they were a little sick I had back-up. Plus au pair picked the kids up from school and nursery and did home work and made them an easy tea so when I came home we could hang out and chat, play games, do baths etc.

Our au pairs saved my career and became life long friends and part of the family. My oldest spent a summer au pairing for our first au pairs baby!

Well, that's shocking advice