Working full time with 3 kids- help

[LaylaSun77]

I am really struggling with 3 kids having just returned from maternity leave. I am finding the endless appointments, school events, homework’s, parties, just very difficult to manage on top of a full time demanding and professional job. My partner works full time aswell and We don’t have grandparents nearby. Can anyone in this situation offer any words of wisdom or life hacks which has helped them get through this same thing? We get our groceries delivered and have a cleaner come once a fortnight. The kids help out when they can we do a chipping in chart. I am emotionally and physically exhausted but I do need to work these hours at the present time for the income. Kids are age 11,9 & a baby who is 1. Thank you in advance for any encouragement and advice you can offer as to how I can get through this time. It is much appreciated.

I have 3 and always worked full time but also in a sector where evening and weekend work is common as did my husband. While DH did and does pitch in quite well with housework, cooking and childcare etc, the mental load was all mine (realised when children were diagnosed with ADHD that DH has that too). I had a brilliant childminder though and live away from family so needed that. I had teenage babysitters that allowed us to do evening events and also critically, socialise.

You've had some good tips here but I’m afraid for me it was about being super organised and learning to let go of some things. I also to this day dump belongings on stairs and everyone has to pick up and put their own things away and it controls mess. Also if you can afford it, having extra uniform items.

Meal planning is really key for me and I do give this to DH to do. I have had cleaners over years but it kind of felt like extra to organise. Before I stopped ironing I did send it out as we could afford it and it helped me so much.

DC have had to pitch in - I preferred not to link it to pocket money. It is part of family life. Hoovering and kitchen tidy ups, recycling etc from older primary age onwards. It’s not done willingly always but they do that and sort laundry etc and cook when teens.

I will say it really does get easier but personally I found reducing hours was much more important when they hit teens as I needed to be physically and emotionally more available.

Also, as hard as it was/is I’m glad I stuck at it. I love working and my job and it was definitely right for me and our family.

I don't have three but fwiw my tips are:

Take one school age child each and one of you takes care of each child's school admin. This helps us enormously

Boring but every Sunday evening we take 5 mins to look through the next week or two diary wise and check we know who is meant to be where doing what

Chores for your children - mine are younger but still do a few things. It might not help right now so much but it will reap rewards later

Occasional day off to catch up on things - around 2-3 times a year, I will take a day off to crank through a load of chores I have been putting off

Yes 😂 DD is 12, at secondary school. DS is 9, at primary school and little one is 20 months. They will all go to different schools as DD goes to an all girls school so DS cannot follow in footsteps.

Thank you very much. I love all of this. Some really great tips.

Thank you for these- these are great tips.

I have four, live away from family and have a dh who (used) to be in the forces and would regularly come home and say he was leaving for months 🙄 we've come out the other side now the kids are older and dh has retired from the forces and is in a new job but I suppose it's a different kind of juggling when you have a load of teens.

My biggest obstacle was always meals, the last thing you want to do when knackered is be chopping and peeling. I hated ordering take out as it was so expensive and mostly crap but some nights it would be all I could manage.

I used to make something like a huge lasagne on a Sunday and while prepping that I would chop chicken and veg to go into the slow cooker the next morning (for a curry or casserole style dinner) half the lasagne would be frozen and taken out later in the week. This gave me three meals in one prep session.

I always had frozen mash, frozen micro pouches of vegetables and rice in the freezer for nights it got too much. Some chicken dippers thrown in the air frier who micro rice and veg takes minutes and is at least better than ordering a McDonald's.

I still spend a fortune on pre cut fruit but justify it to myself as the kids all eat it and if we buy a whole pineapple or melon it gets wasted as I could never be bothered to chop them 🙈

Even now I always have a m&s pizza meal deal with sides in the freezer so if I'm late home and the kids are starving and just wanting to order dominos I can get one of the older ones to stick the frozen pizzas in instead.

On top of that I...

Use my tumble drier far more than I need to but it's so convenient.

I order a birthday present from Amazon as soon as the invite is accepted.

I always try and keep some cash/change in the house as there is nothing more soul destroying than having to stop by a bank on your way to school/club as the kids have suddenly remembered they need a pound for cakes or a tenner for a trip.

Having a load of girls I always buy about 20 pairs of tights every time I'm in primark and have them handy for the busy mornings they are screaming they have no tights left for school.

Try and buy all toiletries and cleaning items in bulk to cut down on "popping to the shops"

Do you work from home. That made huge difference to me. Also what about working a 9 day fortnight. I don't think it would make a huge difference to income and that day off every two weeks would be a chance for you to take a breath.

Oh my other tip which I just remembered is - I have a fair number of meetings where I am primarily listening in, rather than actively contributing all of the time. I have Bluetooth headphones so I can move around while listening in and I use the time to put away laundry or tidy or whatever when I am.wfh.

I tend to find it actually helps me to pay more attention to the meeting rather than less