Anyone want a teenage girl???

[lucysmam]

She is doing my head in.

Sure she'll do yours in too.

Free to a good home?

I've got a very cheeky 10 year old boy going free to a good home. The attitude lately, honestly 🙄. What will he be like when he turns into a teenager?

Happy to swap two teenagers for a dozen toddlers.

I'll take ALL of them. They are always a delight for everyone but their poor parents.

Then I'll return them with a "goodness me, I don't know what you are complaining about, s/he is a lovely child" and flick my hair around in a smug way. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I fear that I am too far invested in mine now. I am though anticipating the time when mine have their own houses. I am going to take my shoes and coat off and throw them on the floor. I am then going to go around the house turning all the lights on and shutting the curtains in the middle of the day. I am then going to have a packet of crisps and stuff the packet down the side of the sofa. When they have cooked me my dinner I am going to take the plate and five knives, eat half of the food and then put the plate under the sofa/ balanced on a high shelf/ under the bed. I will though claim that I have definitely put the plate in the dishwasher. I will then get all the clothes out, mix clean and dirty ones and throw them all on the floor. When I leave I will then shout at them because I can't find my shoes or coat.

@ssd I'm just checking which courier service accepts rather large parcels...she'll need to bring her larger than life lashes, phone, laptop, soft toys 🙄, giant goodie thingy...

@MrsTerryPratchett yep, you're right!

& those of you who said they're sometimes in good moods, but never together. Absolutely yes! If 1 is pleasant, 2 is huffing about the colour of the sky or some other thing I cannot control.

I'll keep 2 for now though, she needs some tlc.

Tbf, 1 isn't as bad as I was either. I was a nightmare teenager 🙈 she's just been a pain in the arse lately when usually she's my sidekick.

*goodie = hoodie 🙄

😂would you like mine. We had parents evening a couple of weeks ago and I am 100% the teacher had mixed up my DD with another child. Apparently she is lovely at school.

🤣 must be something in the water!! Just started a thread about the ridiculous reasons mine isn't speaking to me today!! Driving me mad ....!! Honestly I'd have 50 toddlers at once over one teenage girl!!!!

I love this thread OP. A joy in turbulent times 😂🥰

You're not alone.

I have a 17 yr old who has been given the world on a stick all of her life!

Has a Saturday job, doing well at A Levels, articulate etc etc....
Absolute lazy entitled slob at home....child of perfection to the outside world!!

It's not you, just switch off! X

I can swap for a really farty 15year old dog?

I am then going to go around the house turning all the lights on and shutting the curtains in the middle of the day

I’m so relieved to read this, I’d assumed mine was faulty. WTF do they do this?? I’ve tried to assure him the neighbours are not spying on him, lounging about on the sofa staring at his phone, but he’s skeptical.

OP solidarity is all I can offer. Mine has shouted and screamed at me, because I had the audacity to ask where we might like to go on holiday this year. Having taken her phone off her because of her rudeness, she stropped off to bed, only to appear 15mins later, with a face mask on, to shout at me a bit more because she couldn’t now watch the London Pulse netball game. I’ve taken myself off to bed with the cat.

@edwinbear mine has also lost her phone tonight, and laptop, for being plain old rude & not coming straight home after college like I asked her to 🤷‍♀️ She's in for a shock when I announce my bedtime applies to both of them too...she's still in the bloody shower & I'm off up in 20 ish minutes.

Also, yes to the drawing curtains & turning on lights thing. Wtf is that about!? I open them after she leaves, & open the window as I get in from work. She comes in, sometimes not long after, and shuts the whole lot again. Just why?

You will not melt in daylight 🙈

@Twoshoesnewshoes the dog can join me...I seem more erm...windy...since chemo 🤷‍♀️

I am on my fifth teen, you would think I would have a handle on it by now, but sadly, no.

Would you like my teen boy, teen girl or my.pre teen boy in exchange?

I’m so relieved to read this, I’d assumed mine was faulty. WTF do they do this?? I’ve tried to assure him the neighbours are not spying on him, lounging about on the sofa staring at his phone, but he’s skeptical.

I can confirm that it is unrelated to whether neighbours can see in. Only three windows in our house can be seen by neighbours and the dc have no interest in the window dressings around those ones.

I have the 22-yr old version of this. A helicopter engineer whose tools all live in exact places at work, lived in training accommodation for a year, but who won't even wash a cup at home.

Also I have the 1971 version of the 'Husband' programme. Actually ok on dishes, washing amd cooking but pathologically unable to see dust. And has reverted to playing D&D. Unfortunately this also includes watching YouTube videos of others playing D&D. The nerd function appears to have overriden several others so if anyone has advice on how to shut it down that would be useful.

I've had no takers for DH, so I'm adding in a bonus DCat.

Could swap for my threenager, but fear it could be like for like

The nerd function appears to have overriden several others so if anyone has advice on how to shut it down that would be useful.

Having had an incredibly cool (like ice cold) exH and a very nerdy (but hot) DH, I can attest that the nerd version is MUCH better. Give me D&D over cocaine any day.

I can’t believe anyone is commenting. You know nothing, never lived, never done anything of interest, or uttered anything of use. Surely you’ve been informed of this?!

That could be D&D new marketing slogan.

Proper LOL @FormerlyPathologicallyHappy

It's quite the contrast. The dd at 8 who held my hand and was frankly rather demanding. And now dd18 - first year uni and I try to find variations on Whatsapp messages that are basically looking for proof of life. And trying to plan anything - maybe a holiday 🙄I have apparently become annoying and invisible but good for a bit of shopping.