I'm waiting ...

[twasacoldwintersnight]

for warmer & lighter days and nights (weeks away still)
to get to goal weight (months away yet)
for my holiday (months away yet)
to clear my debts (years away)
to get everything done in my house (possibly never, due to DH)
to get my hair back to a style I like/is manageable (no idea on timeframe for this one)
to get a whole new wardrobe (money & weight issue continuously prevent this and always have)
to find my mojo again and re-gather some enthusiasm for work (no idea if this will ever happen. I coast most days and have done for the last few years)
to feel energetic again & wake up with a spring in my step, ready to face the day and all it has to throw at me (I've literally just crawled out of bed and logged on downstairs for home working. Just putting clothes on and brushing my teeth was a huge effort)
for the days I can muster the energy to get up at 6am and have some me time before getting DC up for school, before getting the house going for the day and before starting work
to get to the bottom of my home to-do list (never-ending)

In the meantime, life is one long drag of chores, juggling work/home. I have things planned in-between the things I am waiting for, but these have been planned for me and tbh they are not really my thing (e.g. theatre with friends). Nothing is my thing anymore as I don't enjoy anything. I just wait for the above to happen, if it even does happen.

To sell my house. So, probably never.

I'm waiting:
To finish my cancer treatment (18 months)
To get the cancer all clear
To go on our BIG holiday (after the end of my cancer treatment - if we are both well enough)
For my hair to grow enough to cut into a proper style
To retire

I’m waiting for a pain free day. Just one day would be bliss.

.... For my older dog to pass away (maybe 4-6 years). This sounds awful, I know. I'm not looking forward to it and I hope we have a good few more years with her yet. But life is very constrained and I want to move house, go on holiday, go out with DP of an evening, take a day trip.

... For the money invested in DP's business to run out (2 years). At that point, he'll either sell the business and I might be able to jack in work. Or he'll get more investment and expand but also step back which will make him less stressed.

... For my fringe to grow out (1 year). It's not a fringe any more, and is morphing into curtain bangs which is what I want. But they're too short at the moment and any slight bit of humidity transforms me into Aaron Carter.

... For one of my favourite authors to write another book (fuck knows). I've run out and every new author that I've tried recently has been terrible.