3 children- is it more common than it used to be?

[AndiOliversGlasses]

I’ve been thinking about this and don’t know if it’s maybe that I just move in different social circles now than when I was growing up.

I went to a comprehensive school, mixture of working and middle class families. I was born in 1973. There were no Catholic families as there was a separate state Catholic school nearby, and it was quite ethnically white.

The vast vast majority of my schoolmates had one sibling, as did I.

I have noticed amongst my university and work colleagues that it’s seen as quite normal to have three children and I think perhaps a majority of those who have kids have three. I remember chatting to a friend when her second was born and saying about childbirth something like “well, at least you never have to do that again” and she found it quite odd I’d assume she’d stop at two. She had, and still has, a very successful career (and she did have a third!).

I have no axe to grind, I only have one child myself because of starting late, but I’m fine with that. I find him quite full on though, can’t imagine what it would be like to have three!

My DH is one of 3 actually, and my MIL said that her MIL assumed the third was an accident, which she was quite offended by. DH has a similar economic background to me but comes from the other end of the UK. MIL acknowledges that 3 was unusual in her social circle and 2 was the norm.

Have other people noticed a growing trend for 3 kids or do I just hang out with an unusually fertile/parental crowd these days?

I agree. Born in 1971 and almost everyone I knew had 1 sibling.

No, I’ve found the opposite. The women I work with who have young families or who are planning, are all sticking at 2. Same with most couples and families I know.

When I was young, it was very common to be one of 3 or 4.

3 is the magic number!

I have 3 as does one of my 2 siblings.
DH is also one of 3. So it's the norm for us. I would've felt shortchanged by stopping at 2.

Not at all, haven’t you seen the news about the low birth rate?! Plenty in my circle are one and done.

I read the other day that the birth rate per woman had dropped again. Maybe more are remaining child free, but those who do have children, are more likely to have 3 (including myself).

And what about the other families you grew up around, was 3 common in your area?

I was wondering this. So it evens out.

In Catholic families the amount of children being born seems to have gone down (my grandad was one of 10, my mum one of 6, I'm one of 3 and I have an only and won't have any more, as an example). The only people I know of who have 3 children or more are very wealthy families. Everyone else is 2 or less.

Most of the kids in my DS class are only children. I think there’s only 4 of us with 2 kids. I don’t know many families with 3 kids.

My parents were one of 3. I’m one of 3. I think larger families were more popular when life was actually affordable.

DH and I are both one of 3 but stopped at 2. The only people I know with 3 (or more) are either fairly well off or religious.

I have a 16 yo, 13 yo...and a 3 yo!! Definitely thought I was done after my two sons and divorce, but then I met my now husband who had no bio children and that changed everything ❤
We are far from wealthy!

My eldest goes to a very Catholic school and 3-4 is the norm there (I have 3 too but a set of twins thrown in there!) but I find outside of the school environment 3 is very unusual

At the park today I would say we were the only sibling set out of about 20 families (which I find quite sad) so 1 is the norm and 2 at a push - of the 2 child families most stopped once they had the perceived perfect balance of 1 of each

I'm a third child but I think 3 is too many

I'd say it wasn't unusual growing up, and plenty of 3s amongst my DC's contemporaries.

2 is very much the norm round here. A few only children. A few 3s but not many. I know only one with 4.

Sorry, I can see this thread is going off in a different direction to that which I intended. A couple of clarifications:

1. Not interested in individual choices, this is about the population as a whole, and what you have observed around you in your area/over your lifetime
2. Not interested in comments about whether having 3 is a good thing or a bad thing.

I wonder if 2.4 children is still valid?

Thanks for the info, but there was no need to say that my family set up is “sad”.

It's 1.49 now.

The people I know that have 3 have the first 2 of the same sex and tried for a third. I’m in that boat with 3. Most of their friends have at least one sibling. But I also know a lot of childless woman that are my age (mid forties) so I think a lot of people are choosing not to have children, hence the statistics overall showing less babies born per woman.

@AndiOliversGlasses I agree, and also find the comment re sibling sets rather judgemental.
My daughter is often at the park with just Daddy but she has two much older brothers, even though she isn't with them 24/7.
Just because a family doesn't have 2 children doesn't make it any "more" or "less" than another.

I know a fair few with 3 who I work with, but amongst my friendship group it's mainly 2 and the NCT group are majority 1 (3.5 years on). Of 8 of us, only 3 have had a second and most are saying that they are done. I find that quite unusual but no judgement OP, I just didn't know many only children growing up and these couples seem very happy one and done.

So I wonder if it's something socioeconomically. I work in a global company which pays well, most would be at least degree educated and lots have further qualifications and these are the ones choosing to have 3. Hardly surprising with the cost of nursery!

When I was growing up one was very unusual and I think most people had three with an equal balance of 4s and 2s and the odd 4+. Most I know now among my children’s friends have 2 or 3.

We didn't really consider cost but I suspect there is a lot more thought and planning now due to expectations around lifestyle and or cost.

A bedroom each is a normal expectation for example. Size of vehicle. Paying for holidays, clubs, activities. And childcare. It's all very different no.