3 children- is it more common than it used to be?

[AndiOliversGlasses]

I’ve been thinking about this and don’t know if it’s maybe that I just move in different social circles now than when I was growing up.

I went to a comprehensive school, mixture of working and middle class families. I was born in 1973. There were no Catholic families as there was a separate state Catholic school nearby, and it was quite ethnically white.

The vast vast majority of my schoolmates had one sibling, as did I.

I have noticed amongst my university and work colleagues that it’s seen as quite normal to have three children and I think perhaps a majority of those who have kids have three. I remember chatting to a friend when her second was born and saying about childbirth something like “well, at least you never have to do that again” and she found it quite odd I’d assume she’d stop at two. She had, and still has, a very successful career (and she did have a third!).

I have no axe to grind, I only have one child myself because of starting late, but I’m fine with that. I find him quite full on though, can’t imagine what it would be like to have three!

My DH is one of 3 actually, and my MIL said that her MIL assumed the third was an accident, which she was quite offended by. DH has a similar economic background to me but comes from the other end of the UK. MIL acknowledges that 3 was unusual in her social circle and 2 was the norm.

Have other people noticed a growing trend for 3 kids or do I just hang out with an unusually fertile/parental crowd these days?

When I opened the thread, I was ready to disagree with you. However, reading your sentence about your ethnicity made me rethink.

My parents were born in the 60s, both one of 3. Dhs parents are the same age, both are also one of three, the uncles that married into my family are one of three and four.

I was born in the late 80s, going to school in the 90s most kids in my class were one of three or more (my best friend was one of 5 their mum, a classmate of my own mother, had been one of 12). I only had one sibling, but that seemed a low number.

Now, as an adult, I have 3, I know a few people with three, probably the most common number for those saying they're done having kids.

However... I am from an Irish Catholic background, educated at a Catholic school with a very large number of Irish and Italian families. I'd never put together that I knew larger families because of religion or background.

I'd thought the number of children in families was decreasing because of the cost of living and most people I know are starting families later. It hadn't occurred to me that most families in England in the 90s weren't having 3-5 children and that it was perhaps area/religion/background specific.

I was born late 80s most of my friends were one of two, one only child, a couple with step siblings, and one with a very large family.

I have 3. Among my children's friends, there are many with 2/3 (as a pp has said a lot of 3s had 2 of one sex first and tried for the opposite or have blended families) a few only children and a couple with 4. So a real mix but mostly 2/3.

I guess we are in a fairly well off area and most with 3 children have had a stay at home/work part time parent while children were younger so less childcare expense rather than both full time workers so that makes a difference!

I have 3, and most of my 70s born friends had 1 sibling. However, the birth rate is at a historic low. So on the population level having 3 is not the case.

I'd disagree with that comment about stay at home/part time parent - that's more likely to be as a result of having 3 DC, as the cost of childcare for 3 makes it virtually impossible to work full time.

I’m late 30’s, at school almost all my friends were either one of 2 or 3, with a handful of bigger families. Think I only knew one only child until I went to secondary school.

Now I’m about to have my 3rd, and I only know a couple of people with 3, and none with 4. 2 is still the most popular, but lots more have just the 1. And that’s not counting the dozens of childfree people/couples I know.

When I was growing up in 80s NZ most families had 3 or 4 children. I was one of 7, so not the normal size!

I think 2 or 3 is more typical where I am now (central Scotland).

When I was growing up (70s/80s) most of the people I knew had 2 children, 1 or 3+ was unusual. Now, I'd say that most of the people I know have either 1 or 2, most of my friends (like me) only have 1. There seem to be loads of 3/4 children families on MN, just another example of how it doesn't represent real life I guess.

I was born in the 70s and am one of three. Most people I knew had one sibling. But there were some exceptions (who were doctors) who had four kids.

I personally know barely anyone with three but I know lots who wanted three and didn’t feel they could afford/justify/find the energy for it.

Generationally in mine and dh's family
Our parents generation (born 60's) 6/3/3/4
our generation (born 80's-90's) 5/2/3/3/1/2/3/4/3/3/3/2/2/2/3
our kids born 2010's 3/2/2/2 so far

I was born in the 80s and almost all of my friends had at least two siblings, as did I. I hardly knew anybody from a family of just 2 children whereas now I would say almost all of my friends have stopped at 2. It seems to me smaller families are more common now but maybe it does depend on your social circles.

I’ve found the opposite. DH and I are both 1 of 3. I had lots of friends from 3+ families growing up in the 90s. I’m from a working class north background and he’s from a middle class south background. I’m catholic, his family aren’t religious.

The vast majority of our friends from all walks of life are sticking at 1 or 2. We are done with 2. I have a couple of colleagues with 3 but they are the exception not the norm. I know nobody who are planning or have more than 3.

I am one of three, born 1992
We never had a car when I was a child and we never went on holidays abroad
I think unless your well off something has to give ..
You also don't get as much 1-1 time with your parents ... unless the parents are conscious of this.

Both my best friends at school were 1 of 3
I think anything three and above is not the average these days.

I still see quite a lot of multiples
But cost of living, childcare many are starting older now and so not having as many as a result maybe

Actual statistics for today

“Of all families with dependent children, families with one child made up 44% (3.6 million) in 2022. Families with two children made up 41% (3.4 million), and families with three or more children made up 15% (1.2 million).”

Whereas when I was younger 3 or 4 dc seemed the norm

I would say that the families I know with three are definitely all university educated parents and high earning, but the women do tend to work. I wonder if the improvement in maternity rights has helped women of my generation have more kids than similar women of my Mum’s generation? (Though my Mum didn't go to uni and had jobs not a career.).

I find number of check statistics might be a bit misleading because all families are only a certain number of children families until the next one comes along! I bet a lot of “single child families” are just parents who are still building their families. I was a single child family for 5 years as my parents had secondary infertility.

I wonder if the improvement in maternity rights has helped women of my generation have more kids than similar women of my Mum’s generation?

Why do you think women are having more dc? they aren’t.

In the OP I observed that the ones around me were.

I’m one of three and have three

my 2 siblings have one and two

husbands 2 siblings each have three

who knows but possibly having a higher income may have secured the decisions to have more

I don't know that many with 3 no. The ones that do have 3 all say it's crazy house and 2 kids was so easy. Although one of them wld like a fourth but their dh is against that.

Most ladies at my work (professional job) that do have kids actually only have 1. There's one that has 4 and some have 2.

In my family my parents were both 1 of 3. They had 2, 1 of their siblings had 3 another had 2 and the other 2 had only 1 child. My dh is 1 of 2. We have 2, his sibling has 2 and my sibling has 3. Friends have a real mixture of 1, 2 and 3. 2 being the most common.

Most of my daughter's friends at school have 1 siblings and some are only children. When I was growing up all my friends had 1 sibling.

In the OP I observed that the ones around me were

But that’s anecdotal so can’t be extrapolated to the wider population

I'm mid 40s and one of three. Growing up most of my friends had one sibling but it was more common to be 1 of 3 or 4 than to have no siblings. We have 3 (youngest is 10), most of their friends if not all have at least 1 sibling. We are in the SE.

And your OP said is it more common. It isn’t family size has decreased & more women aren’t having any.

I'm one of 3. My DH is one of 3. We have 3 DC. One of my siblings has no DC and the other has 3.

3 is quite the norm for me, now and in my childhood.