3 children- is it more common than it used to be?

[AndiOliversGlasses]

I’ve been thinking about this and don’t know if it’s maybe that I just move in different social circles now than when I was growing up.

I went to a comprehensive school, mixture of working and middle class families. I was born in 1973. There were no Catholic families as there was a separate state Catholic school nearby, and it was quite ethnically white.

The vast vast majority of my schoolmates had one sibling, as did I.

I have noticed amongst my university and work colleagues that it’s seen as quite normal to have three children and I think perhaps a majority of those who have kids have three. I remember chatting to a friend when her second was born and saying about childbirth something like “well, at least you never have to do that again” and she found it quite odd I’d assume she’d stop at two. She had, and still has, a very successful career (and she did have a third!).

I have no axe to grind, I only have one child myself because of starting late, but I’m fine with that. I find him quite full on though, can’t imagine what it would be like to have three!

My DH is one of 3 actually, and my MIL said that her MIL assumed the third was an accident, which she was quite offended by. DH has a similar economic background to me but comes from the other end of the UK. MIL acknowledges that 3 was unusual in her social circle and 2 was the norm.

Have other people noticed a growing trend for 3 kids or do I just hang out with an unusually fertile/parental crowd these days?

I was born in 1971 and am one of three.
We were quite unusual.
I stuck at 2 , 3 is an awkward number and someone was always left out.

I have three but our family is not typical. It's more a case of 2 + 1 kids than 3! Two with first husband (13 and 16), and one with now husband (3).
Wouldn't change a thing.

I have seen stats on this and broadly… no, there hasn’t been a change in the trend of family size.

Which surprised me - albeit for the opposite reason to you OP. Many of my school and family friends growing up were 3/4 kids. I don’t know anyone with 3/4 kids now!

I am actually very interested that the stats have stayed broadly the same… it does not fit my anecdotal evidence at all.

Three or four kids was very much the norm in my extended family and my parents' circle of friends when I was growing up (I'm a child of the 80s). I come from a religious family so maybe that skews the sample!
Now 2 kids seems to be the default among my peers. There are some families of three DCs among my friends and colleagues but I'd say they are outliers.
I've only got one DC myself, would have liked more!

I was born in the same year as you OP there were two of us but both of my mum's sibs and all five of my dad's sibs had three DC. My school friends were a pretty even split of 2 or 3.
There is a reason why the average was always quoted as 2.4 children.

“While average family size has decreased, two children families remain the most common family size across both generations, with 37% of women born in 1975 and 44% of those born in 1949 having two children. For those born in 1975, 27% had three or more children and 17% had only one child, compared with 30% and 13% respectively, for their mothers' generation.”

I always thought two was the norm - and people ideally want one boy, one girl. Often you see three when people have two of the same gender and want to try for one of the opposite gender imo. But most stop at 2.

I'm one of three - and I want three kids. Ideally I'd have four but I'm in my 30s so not sure I have time to squeeze in four, and the cost to my career would be too high with four mat leaves.

I think that's pretty unusual. Two is the norm - one and three are next most common, four plus is very rare

I think 3 was normal growing up, I was one of three, Ex DH was one of three, we planned to have 3, ended up with four (twins). When my eldest was at school lots of his classmates had brothers and sisters. My youngest twins class, half are only children.

One dc is becoming the norm

I also think you own experience can set your idea of 'normal'. In the close we lived in when I was young there were about 15 families with children, the majority were two children families and all but three of the two child families were one of each sex. The current generation of our families and majority of our friends where there are two kids are both boys or both girls. When I mentioned to DH that this was the reverse of 'back in day' he looked at me as if I were crazy and listed all the two of the same families he grew up around.

Around me, two is definitely the norm and I know as many with one as I do with three (a couple with 4+).

I have three and am one of three, as is my husband, so for us it felt right.

I know lots of people with 3. And we have 3!

Thinking back to when I was a kid I can actually only think of one family with 2 kids my age - and they were really well-off. All my friends had one sibling or none.

I find number of check statistics might be a bit misleading because all families are only a certain number of children families until the next one comes along!

I pretty sure they base it on the age of the mother eg over 45 they will likely to have concluded their childbearing years as opposed to classing a 25 yr old with a baby as a one child family…

I was born in 1974 and knew quite a few families with 3 children, when I was growing up. It never seemed unusual.
I've noticed more families with one child, in recent times.

I feel like it's the opposite. My parents were born in the 60s and both have multiple siblings. I was born in the 90s and most of my friends are only children or only have one sibling. There are exceptions, of course, but it does seem less common where I am.

You asked me why I thought people were having more. I told you why I thought this. My OP was literally asking about the wider population. Why are you now stating this back to me?!

It's the opposite for my experience. I'm one of 3. As is DH and a lot of my friends are one of 3.

We stopped at 2. My sister had 1 and my other had none.

Most of the kids who I teach are onlies or have one sibling. Only a couple in a class of 30 have 2 siblings.

But that is inaccurate too if the 25 year old doesn’t intend to have any more. I’ve never seen a stat that is qualified by “there are x number of 1 child families with mothers over 45 in the UK today” for example.

You asked me why I thought people were having more. I told you why I thought this. My OP was literally asking about the wider population. Why are you now stating this back to me?!

But the wider population isn’t having more so I was confused by your “I think they are because people I know are” 😆😆

@AndiOliversGlasses you're not understanding

This may help?

https://blog.ons.gov.uk/2019/08/02/whatever-happened-to-2-point-4-children/amp/

The only thing ive noticed is mums are having children much older.

I would say the opposite, DH and are 1/3
my childhood best friends are both 1/3
my sisters two best friends are 1/3
I would say we come from a solidly Middle class background and it was common to have 3/4/5 children when I was growing up

whereas now lots of friends are quite content stopping at two or even one. (Cost of living is very high, and we live on the south coast so housing costs are high here too)

I'm one of 3, both of my parents were one of 3. It never occurred to me, to have less that 3. I ended up with 4.
I would say that once you have 3 or 4, you naturally become friends with other families with 3 or 4 as it's just easier and you all get it. I'd think nothing of spontaneous staying at a friends, who also has 3 or 4, for dinner because they are used to cooking for that amount, they have the food in and are used to the bustle. I wouldn't be able to do that if they are only used to cooking for one. They aren't going to have 40 fishfingers in the freezer. Likewise with babysitting, adding an extra 3 children in to a house with 4 already is fine, an extra 3 to a house that is only used to 1 doesn't work so well.

Within our circle, I'd say having just one, seems more common than having 3.

I have 2, and have a decent group of friends with children the same ages. A couple of others have had a second but are done, but the majority have stuck with 1 and are done.

In my close circle no one has 3!

However, when I was growing up in tje 90s 3 or 4 was normal. I am 1 of 4 and indeed always thought I'd have 4. I am however, from a forces family which may make a difference

I have 3 children
I am one of 3
my husband is one of 3
my best friend has 3

most people I know seem to have one or two though, we are catholic too.

3 is waaaaaaay harder than 2 though, not entirely sure I would recommend if I'm honest!