3 children- is it more common than it used to be?

[AndiOliversGlasses]

I’ve been thinking about this and don’t know if it’s maybe that I just move in different social circles now than when I was growing up.

I went to a comprehensive school, mixture of working and middle class families. I was born in 1973. There were no Catholic families as there was a separate state Catholic school nearby, and it was quite ethnically white.

The vast vast majority of my schoolmates had one sibling, as did I.

I have noticed amongst my university and work colleagues that it’s seen as quite normal to have three children and I think perhaps a majority of those who have kids have three. I remember chatting to a friend when her second was born and saying about childbirth something like “well, at least you never have to do that again” and she found it quite odd I’d assume she’d stop at two. She had, and still has, a very successful career (and she did have a third!).

I have no axe to grind, I only have one child myself because of starting late, but I’m fine with that. I find him quite full on though, can’t imagine what it would be like to have three!

My DH is one of 3 actually, and my MIL said that her MIL assumed the third was an accident, which she was quite offended by. DH has a similar economic background to me but comes from the other end of the UK. MIL acknowledges that 3 was unusual in her social circle and 2 was the norm.

Have other people noticed a growing trend for 3 kids or do I just hang out with an unusually fertile/parental crowd these days?

Definitely more common, I remember only having one classmate who had 2 siblings. (I was Born early 80s)

I grew up in the 90s and most people I knew had 1 sibling. Unusual for more than that.

Most people I know now don't have children or only have 1 child. I'm in the minority with 2 children. Can't think of anyone with more than 2.

I was a late 80s baby and one of three, as were a lot of year at school.

Now I mostly see friends sticking at 2, just a few have 3.

I wonder whether the cost of nursery is a factor. Many of my friends mums didn't work or didn't work until the kids were back at school back in the 90s, but this seems to much harder financially now.

I think 2 is still the most common round me but there are quite a lot of 3 child families at the school. Then there's the few of us who have 4 or more.

I’m one of 3, growing up a lot of my friends were one of 3. I think it used to be more common than it is now.

Raising children is so expensive now and I feel this is one of the reasons people are having less children.

Im always shocked at people announcing their 3rd pregnancy, for some reason I just imagine people will stop at 2. Most people I know now with children have 1 or 2 DC and I’d say most want to stop at 2.

Bloody hell you’re hard work.

I said that my observation led me to believe that people might be having more. I then asked other people for their observations in order to test that theory.

Growing up with a group of best friends
I was an only and have an only
bf1 was youngest of five and has 0
bf2 was eldest of three and has 5
bf3 was youngest of three and had 1
bf4 was second of four and has 3

we all went to catholic school with Irish families.

As a Head in recent years we have seen lots of only children but also families of 11 so I’m sure the data of an average doesn’t quite show the reality of life.

No it was more common in the past when I was born (late 60s) women had to pay for contraceptives back then .

Looks from the responses here that you and I are not the norm though! I am from Central Scotland, where did you grow up @Twilight7777 ?

The mode when I was growing up was 2, but it seemed much more common to be one of 4 or 3 than to be an only child.
Nowadays I'd say the mode is still 2, but the second most common number definitely seems to be 1, and I only know one family with 4 children (the two youngest being twins). Families with 3 often seem to be second families with an only child after a pair of older siblings or two step-siblings.

Most of my teenagers friends only have one sibling (as do mine).

I'm one of 3, born in 80s. Most of my school friends had 2+ siblings.

When I think about it, most of the people I know with 3 are pretty well off. And quite a few of you have (unsurprisingly) said that cost of living is a factor in having smaller families. I therefore conclude that I just hang about with richer people now than I did when I went to school!

Fwiw my parents were df (only) and do (youngest of 14!)

Growing up (at school in 80s and 90s) the vast majority of children had one sibling, but having two siblings wasn't unusual. A few children had three siblings. Very few only children.

Nowadays, I know lots of families with one or two children. I live in an area with lots of smaller houses so perhaps the bigger families all live elsewhere! My two friends with three children both had twins from their second pregnancy. The one large family I know (5 children) are very wealthy.

Two of my grandparents were one of 7, the third was one of 5 and the fourth one of 4, though one died in infancy.

My parents, however, were an only child and one of 2. So a huge shift between generations. There was a clear reason though- the War. Dad’s Dad never came back. Mum’s Dad was gone 6 years, so by the time he came back my Gran didn’t have many childbearing years left.

I find this really interesting. I have two (9&7), and basing it on the families I know with similar age children, from school, family members children, and families I know from antenatal groups etc, (100ish families) it works out at 79% with 2, 12% with only children, and 9% with 3 or more. So I actually know more families with 1 child than 3, which I didn't realise until working this out! Hardly know anyone with 3 or more kids.

I notice this too.. Growing up all my female friends had a brother. It just seemed like it was a given it would be one boy, one girl per family. Now I barely know anyone with one of each. Vast majority I know have two girls, and I know a far amount of two boy families, but barely any "one of eachers"!

Not at all, unless you're Catholic

Growing up 2 or 3 was normal where I lived, quite a few 4s as well. I don't think it's changed that much, maybe fewer 4s. The birth rate has gone down though so there must be more people having none to balance it out. I'm 33 and of my school friends I have two, one friend has one and nobody else has any yet.

I've got one of each but am going for a third 😅

DH and I are both Catholic - we grew up around lots of 3/4 child families.

DS1 is at Catholic school now, Still lots of 3 child families, not sure about any 4 child families.

With the birthrate at 1.49, I'm wondering where all the onlys are in my social group.

From about twenty women, two intend to remain childless, about ten have two, five have three, two have one (inc. me, but I think the other is going for a second) and the remainder intend to have at least two.

We plan to stick at one, but are the outliers there.

No, people just had less.

Here are the stats that don't appear to support the idea that families are getting bigger:

https://www.statista.com/statistics/1033074/fertility-rate-uk-1800-2020/

In my friendship group 2 is still the norm ( but we're older and our kids are all mid/late teens)... I have 3 but that's because my second pregnancy was twins!