Are homebodies or introverts perceived as boring?

[weakrasiontea]

So I am a homebody, I love being at home with my DH or just in my own company reading, watching films, cooking etc. I do also work mostly from home as an artist. Never in my life have I been into pubs and clubs, I don't drink and mostly I don't enjoy the music played at night clubs or often how people act in bars if they have had a few too many, I am also not that into big parties the music is often too loud to be able to talk to anyone properly and I just don't enjoy that.

I do go out to specific concerts, the theatre, art shows and to different restaurants either if I am out anyway or if there is a particular place I want to try, I like to cook a lot and so am interested in trying new places for inspiration but I wouldn't go out just to go out. I like to travel but we are more likely to save up and go somewhere like Japan or Chile or something every few years rather than go abroad every year and so most years we will just stay in the UK or Ireland. We also when the weather permits have local trips or go hillwalking or something. However there are also lots of weekends where we are pretty happy to be home just doing out own thing. If I meet friends its either at our homes or in a café as opposed to a bar.

To me this is all pretty normal I am sure but an attitude I feel like I am coming up against with my DH's family his sisters to be specific that we are boring because we don't go out and do things enough. I totally get that lots of people like to go out a lot, they like to get dressed up and go for afternoon tea with bubbles or to the Ivy or to a club or that they prefer a sun, sea and sand holiday every year. They also go to nice restaurants and the theatre but if they have no plans to go to something specific one week they will just go to anything just to get out. Again this is totally fair enough but doing all that surely doesn't automatically make them more interesting than me because they went to see Wicked again and I stayed in and read a book?

Another woman I know is dating and one of her big complaints is trying to find a guy who wants to go out frequently as she says most just want to stay home, which is in her view dull and makes a person dull. Of course she should find a person she is compatible with but it feels like there is this whole thing that going out equals being fun, interesting and youthful while staying at home equates to being dull and narrow minded and sliding into old age. I mean surely it depends on what people actually do with their time?

But being extroverted doesn’t mean you don’t read books or have more depth to you. It typically just means you get your energy from being around other people.

im extremely extroverted but i know more about world current affairs, for example, than anyone I know (introverted or extroverted). Simply cos I read a huge amount about it (and then I go on and on talking about the topic 🤣)

Not sure whether he should be admired or not since he was almost certainly very egotistical, but also an extraordinarily brave, principled, eccentric and, probably, difficult man, but Lieutenant Colonel A D Wintle "The Last Englishman" is quoted as saying, amongst many other witty and pithy comments "I am never bored when I am present".

Perhaps a kind of self confidence we should all adopt and not care a jot whether or not others find us 'boring', 'introverted', 'reserved' or any other epithet often seen as a negative character trait

I am pretty clear in my OP that I do do different things I do go to see different plays, to the cinema, to exhibitions and art shows, when I travel I tend to go somewhere the majority of people don't. What I don't do is go out to the same old bars, clubs and shows just to go out or as an excuse to get dressed up and be seen, no shade if that's your thing but it isn't for me.

I also think that one can be mentally exercised by staying home depending on what you are actually doing with your time, for example there is a world of difference between a person who stays home all the time and watches crappy tv and scrolls on tiktok vs someone who uses their time at home to learn new things, to be creative, to read widely, to watch interesting films and documentaries, or who under takes challenging hobbies.

As for mixing with different generations it very much depends on the people in question as opposed to their age, there are boring narrow minded people of every age. Knowing about the latest fads and mass consumerist culture isn't that interesting or fresh.

I am coming to the conclusion that when people think staying home is boring or dulls the mind they are actually revealing their own lack of imagination and dullness, perhaps all they do is watch soaps and read the daily mail if they are at home?

Are you bored? If not, then you are not boring. I'm totally content in my own company and if I didn't have dogs to walk I'd happily spend days on end at home. I have plenty to do - I have a couple Etsy shops I design for, I manage a couple properties, I have a teenager at home and a 20 year old away who need quite a lot of support. I also crochet and always have a project on the go. Frankly it's people who need outside stimulation who are 'boring' - they can't seem to generate their own entertainment.
Anyway if you are happy that's all that matters - and artists need their own headspace to create without interference.

Maybe your not boring but you sound like a judgemental knob, perhaps your friends and family are picking up on this feeling of superiority?

Well there's your mistake right there, taking seriously anything the ES says. That thing is given away free, because no-one in their right mind would pay to read it. The rot really set in when covid hit, and I didn't think it could go any further downhill than it was then. I was wrong.

Well last weekend I went to a bar and had a long conversation with a friend about Tolstoy and Russian grammar, because we're coincidentally both teaching ourselves Russian, followed by a house party where I didn't know anyone and was knitting a lace wedding shawl while chatting to random people. Yesterday I stayed in and scrolled through social media for almost the whole day, and on Friday evening I'm going to hang out on my friends' couch where we'll probably get drunk and binge watch MAFS or some other trash TV. (We do live in Asia though, if that makes getting drunk and watching trash TV more cultured and exotic?) It's almost as though people can enjoy a variety of things and no-one has to pick a side 🤷‍♀️