Are homebodies or introverts perceived as boring?

[weakrasiontea]

So I am a homebody, I love being at home with my DH or just in my own company reading, watching films, cooking etc. I do also work mostly from home as an artist. Never in my life have I been into pubs and clubs, I don't drink and mostly I don't enjoy the music played at night clubs or often how people act in bars if they have had a few too many, I am also not that into big parties the music is often too loud to be able to talk to anyone properly and I just don't enjoy that.

I do go out to specific concerts, the theatre, art shows and to different restaurants either if I am out anyway or if there is a particular place I want to try, I like to cook a lot and so am interested in trying new places for inspiration but I wouldn't go out just to go out. I like to travel but we are more likely to save up and go somewhere like Japan or Chile or something every few years rather than go abroad every year and so most years we will just stay in the UK or Ireland. We also when the weather permits have local trips or go hillwalking or something. However there are also lots of weekends where we are pretty happy to be home just doing out own thing. If I meet friends its either at our homes or in a café as opposed to a bar.

To me this is all pretty normal I am sure but an attitude I feel like I am coming up against with my DH's family his sisters to be specific that we are boring because we don't go out and do things enough. I totally get that lots of people like to go out a lot, they like to get dressed up and go for afternoon tea with bubbles or to the Ivy or to a club or that they prefer a sun, sea and sand holiday every year. They also go to nice restaurants and the theatre but if they have no plans to go to something specific one week they will just go to anything just to get out. Again this is totally fair enough but doing all that surely doesn't automatically make them more interesting than me because they went to see Wicked again and I stayed in and read a book?

Another woman I know is dating and one of her big complaints is trying to find a guy who wants to go out frequently as she says most just want to stay home, which is in her view dull and makes a person dull. Of course she should find a person she is compatible with but it feels like there is this whole thing that going out equals being fun, interesting and youthful while staying at home equates to being dull and narrow minded and sliding into old age. I mean surely it depends on what people actually do with their time?

I'm the same, recently just embracing it instead of analysing and feeling bad. At the moment I don't want to go out anywhere, I love being at home in my recently adult-child free home, it's great. Waited years to be able to do what I want and now I am. Having time to do what I want and if that's low key, no key nothing, then so be it.

Your life is yours to live and you are under no obligation to use it to provide entertainment for anyone else. I don't think contentment and not needing a load of external stimulation are at all boring.

Bucking the trend here, I am boring! I'm good at occupying my mind so very rarely bore myself (it happens). But my life's pretty monotonous. I enjoy hearing about other people's "doing" and, fortunately, am a good listener because I've little of the same to contribute 🤷🏻‍♀️

This!!

What articles? I've never seen them.

I I do see what you are saying but its not so much that I'm suggesting a person would regurgitate the contents of a book to anyone who would listen, that would be inappropriate and probably dull. However it does mean that in conversation a person who is widely read and have thought about a variety of topics may well have something more pertinent and interesting to say if conversation went beyond the basic minutia of life and where you went for dinner, which will nice to hear about isn't especially interesting to discuss.

So I don't in general care what people think but I am aware that its a general attitude in some people that being interesting = going out, getting dressed up, buying stuff, drinking, partying and so on. If that is your bag then fine, but its not the only way to have a fulfilling life. It also is annoying when people who are supposed to be on your side in life, family roll their eyes and sigh when you say you've no plans to go out this weekend and say things like "what a sad little life you two have" when they are just hitting the same bars, with the same people they do every week, where the same stuff happens, but they get to dress up and be seen and that is all that counts to them.

Even if we do go out so we do a Munro and go for a meal after on the way home, that is also boring because it doesn't involve glamour.

I've met boring extroverts and boring introverts.

Mostly they are boring when they're obsessed with their intro/extro status and try to push it on others.

I'm a boring old hermit really. Love being at home and hunkering down with a good book under a blanket.

I may be boring, but never bored.

I think I would perceive someone who stayed home all the time to be boring. It would be rude to say so, but it does sound dull.

I dont think an introvert would have to be a homebody. DH and I are both very introverted but we go out all the time. We go to all kinds of events, gigs, club nights, theatre, public lectures, art exhibitions. We don't mingle that much with other people, but we're in our own bubble. Which probably makes us boring to some people too, but it doesn't bother me what they think.

Same! I didn't even get dressed yesterday (showered then put on fresh PJs 🤣). I am probably boring to most outsiders but, I've lived and worked in 5 different countries and had a thoroughly great life! I just prefer solitude and calm in my life when I'm not working.

@thecatsthecats I am more of an introvert, I don't go on about it irl, I enjoy seeing my friends and I'm not really even in all the time either, I do go out and do stuff and I enjoy but apparently its not cool or interesting enough stuff because it tends to be more low key.

I'm not saying I'd find you boring but I'd be bored as hell if I stayed in the house all weekend. I have to get out at least once a day to speak to someone other than my family or I'd go crazy - and they'd agree with me!

Boring/interesting is subjective. No one person is going to appeal to everyone. Lots of people probably find my boozy chat dull and over the top. I might find some quieter sober people a bit too slow paced for me. Each to their own.

But what do you mean by someone who stays at home all the time, I can understand you saying that if you think people who stay at home are all sitting on the sofa, watching soaps and bargain hunt in-between curtain twitching and popping down the local shops to pick up the daily mail.

The thing is not everyone who stays home is doing those things, I've known people who stayed home and built their own telescope or made beautiful stain glass pieces, who learned a new piece of music on the cello or made bread or knitted something lovely they could wear. To me none of that is boring, its creative and exciting. Then they might be beating their partner at chess or reading the works of Dostoyevsky or working their way though the films of Ingmar Bergman, none of that is dull.

If you read my OP I do go out and so many of the things you do but not every week so I agree that introverts do go out but I am also saying that staying in can be interesting if your an interesting and interested person, home can be a space to learn, think and be creative.

I’m very much an introvert, I’m not a party person at all and I WFH. I couldn’t care less if I’m perceived as ‘boring’. For me, one of the benefits of being introverted is not giving a toss what others think.

I have always been comfortable with my own company and to quote my mother “only boring people get bored”. I am never bored (except with the odd work task) as there is so much to read, see or do.

I am a homebody these days, by choice. I have done all the big city partying and now have a nice house and big garden to keep me occupied. I have multiple interests and I know I am witty and friendly - when I choose to be.

Binary responses such as “introverts are dull” are ridiculous. There are boring introverts, boring extroverts, boring ambiverts. Interesting versions of each too. Ditto extroverts.

These days I’d rather discuss politics, literature, social issues and gardening than who went where or did what. Partly an age thing probably but I find it more interesting. I find well-read people interesting.

The older you get the easier it is to ignore the opinions of others.

I’m an introvert but there’s just something about smug about the word “homebody” that gives me the ick!

I used the word but it is a bit “house mouse”. 😄

I generally hate "nights out" but it doesn't always feel OK to say so. At work, I will often wait until last to fill out a doodle poll when people are trying to arrange a night out, and make sure I only tick dates that have very few votes. I constantly wish I could bring myself to say "thanks but I don't enjoy nights out". I like going out for dinner with small groups of friends, and I like hanging out with my husband and close/extended family. Parties, work nights out or gatherings in a pub leave me cold. I love reading, watching TV pottering and gardening. I loved going out when I was younger, but drank a lot back then and now can't handle more than a few drinks. I often want to ask people what they like about meeting a bunch of workmates in a busy loud pub. I got it when I was young, liked dancing and was looking to meet someone, but now I'm 44, married, and it just holds no allure! That said, I have great memories of my 20s and often wish I could be more "fun" again!

You will be fun to those with the same taste and interest as you. You won’t be so interesting to those that don’t have the same interest as you.

Im a homebody and when I’m out I prefer to have great chat, the odd drink, dress comfortably and usually want to be at home by a certain time.

I’m a homebody and I don’t find you boring at all. If it helps I find the partying every weekend lifestyle quite bland. So I don’t do it much.

We are all different for a reason.

I’m an introvert and growing up I was told I was stuck up. Same in my teens, 20’s. I moved to Latin America and because I’m not gushing and saying “hi, how are you?” with friends. Most accepted I was polite and friendly but 1 thought I was rude for not overboard.

It also is annoying when people who are supposed to be on your side in life, family roll their eyes and sigh when you say you've no plans to go out this weekend and say things like "what a sad little life you two have"

Well that's just rude and tells us more about them than it does you @weakrasiontea. They are obviously a blunt instrument, deliberately unkind or jealous of your contentment. I'm afraid I'd find their opinion of me of zero interest.

OP it would be useful to distinguish between 'boring' as in 'mundane activities', vs 'interesting to other people'. IMO the latter occurs when you have common topics of conversation, and/or are an excellent conversationalist.

I love discussing literature so Dostoyevsky would interest me but none of the other stuff does especially knitting and baking. I enjoy playing chess and classical music (I play the piano myself). But I don't want to have an in-depth discussion on the Sicilian defence or Cello Sonata No. 3. If someone came up to me and was all 'I learned a new song today' I'd be like oh cool. End of conversation.

Politics, economics etc while meatier topics to discuss has potential to turn into a fraught conversation. Especially among people with different opinions. For this reason I find it easier to stick to lighter topics among people I don't know well.

The crux of the matter is nobody can determine how 'boring' someone else is. There are many introverts who claim partying etc is boring but if you are not hanging out with these people. You think everyone else loves to party!

Extroverts put it on their cv or at least outgoing or bubbly but I'm not and I never feel the need to put quiet and introvert as a selling point.