Tell us something awful you did as a kid.

[Friedchickenrocks]

Aged about 8 our grandad was staying with us and I hid his glasses. Nobody thought it was me but he knew. He was literally almost blind for a week and even went poking with his walking stick down the loo. "I know it's her. I just know it, little bitch" Eventually they magically re-appeared on the sideboard. I never did own up and my mum never thought it could possibly be her blue eyed girl.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

My cousins came to stay from overseas. On their last night, I decided we would play murder in the dark. We lived in a large ish house and it was possible to make one part of it completely dark. They loved it and we had a great time before they went home. My aunt called my Mum the next morning to say that my cousin had had a nightmare, sleepwalked and jumped out of the bathroom window. They found her next morning with a broken leg and wrist and several broken ribs. I got the blame and my aunt shouted down the phone at me. I couldn’t have been more than six.

When I was in year 11 at school, I set off the fire alarm.

Another girl got the blame. She told the head teacher it was me. The head teacher didn't believe her because she was a known trouble-maker, history of suspensions, bottom set across the board etc., whereas I'd never really been in trouble.

She was permanently excluded from school but was told it'd have only been a suspension if she hadn't lied and tried to blame me.

😳

I have murdered no hitchhikers! I would never have hurt an animal or an old person either. I'm interested that you think my crimes were so much worse than those -- I admit they were bad but I just could not bear other kids. I never hurt them physically.

When I was about 7 I went to legoland. There were these water canon things that you could squirt into a fenced pit. I realised there was a spot where by accident if you turned the canon the right way, you could squirt up on to the pavement, out of the pit. As soon as I saw a kid move there, I drenched them, not thinking about it really. I heard the mum saying they'd have to go home now (I think it was a cold day) and felt so guilty.

I still do this now and im 30 😭😂

Put my younger brother in a pushchair and pushed him down a hill. He had to go to GP.

My brother put his poo in the bed of the old lady who lived at my aunt's house and she was blamed and put in a home. There were other problems with her, but it was still horrendous.

Haha I’m pleased to hear no hitchhikers have been murdered (although you would deny it wouldn’t you….). I think what makes your childhood “crimes” so different to the others on the thread is that most of the others are silly and as a result of an underdeveloped brain simply not thinking or understanding actions vs consequences. Yours are so chilling because they were the opposite… well thought out, calm and calculating! I can imagine your childhood self in a horror movie! Sorry, I’m sure you’re a lovely adult!

Thought of some more. When Pedigree chum dog mixer came out in 1980s offered a bowl to my annoying cousin with milk as a new breakfast cereal. Same cousin, scared of water - rest of us were excellent swimmers - pushed into deep end of local pool fairly often. She had a weak bladder, made her laugh so much while wearing dungarees she wet herself (her mum got very annoyed with her for not making loo quickly).

Sister again - used to tell her terrifying stories when we camped out the back door. Locked her in gran’s antique key wardrobe for quite some time until hysterical.

Both of us playing (against all the rules) in grandfather’s “fish room ” filled with multiple tropical fish tanks. Fight ensues over control of wee net containing very large expensive new fish. Fish flipped out of net in struggle soars into air and hits lightbulb, instantly killing fish (by scorching) and fusing entire house. Quickly located and placed burned dead fish back in tank and scarpered. Found out later and punished. Locked out if fish room on pain of death forever.

I was about 11 and I punched a girl with a perfect right hook and she literally went flying and was knocked clean out on the ground for a moment or two. It was one hell of a punch.

I snapped and just had enough of or her teasing that day....she had me up against a wall in the school playground and her face was a couple of inches from mine and she would not have expected this action as very out of charactor for me.

I had my hair in a little bun with a ribbon that day and she was sneering at me and saying how stupid and horrible I looked ..I think as I wasn't usually a well presented child, and always looked bit feral mostly....... I reacted as for once I had felt I looked nice and she spoilt it for me and made me feel very self conscious.

I immediately regretted it thinking I had really hurt her and would be in deep trouble.

I didn't get into trouble though, as she did not report it. I became a bit infamous for a while for it though amongst my peers.

Weirdly she added me on FB a year or so ago and seems to have forgotten all about it! It is about 40 years ago now and I haven't!

I think a lot of people on this thread have led very sheltered lives -

Growing up we lived next door to a church which had a gravel carpark. Between the carpark and the road were advertising billboards. I used to stand in the carpark and throw bits of gravel over the billboards into the road. It didn't cross my mind that I might be damaging people's windscreens or hitting people in the head until years later (I did it for a few weeks then got bored of it and stopped)

I bullied a boy in my class at school. I honestly didn't realise I was bullying him, but I knew he fancied me and he always had a chocolate biscuit bar with his lunch but I never got those, so I'd ask him to give me his one every day at lunchtime which he did because he fancied me but eventually he told his mum, who called my mum and told me off for bullying him.

Well I was going to say I picked on my sister and pulled a toggle off a friend's duffle coat but fuck me after reading through the thread I feel like I never did anything bad!

XenoBitch · Yesterday 22:30

I also used to tie thread to crane flies and have them as some sort of weird living kite.

Gerald Durrell used to do that with iridescent green beetles, apparently.

We made one of my friends swallow a tadpole from the tadpole fishbowl in our classroom (6 years old). We dared her and she did. We used to throw our dad's garden onions he had left to dry in the sun on cars passing outside our house and then run for our lives.
We peed in a jug with a friend and told some of the boys it was apple juice. Thankfully for them, they didn't buy (or drink) it!
I wanted a chicken badly and my friend (who lived on a farm) kept two fertilised eggs for me. I was so impatient that I ended up cracking the two eggs open after two weeks or so. There were chicks inside but they were too small and weak to survive. I remember one opening its beak to breathe but it died almost straight away. I still feel awful about this.
We got up to all sorts as we had very minimal adult supervision. There's more too but that's enough for now. I feel like I need to go and talk to my therapist now...

I cut some whiskers off our cat, when I was about 4. My eldest sister told my mam, who belted me all over. My bloody sister had told me to do it!

Glad I'm not the only cat barber!

THANKYOU @Mummyoflittledragon . . you said what i tried to. x

Probably doesn't belong here. But the awful stuff I used to do is just so so dangerous.

I remember climbing into a shipping container size bin full of metal cut outs from a factory to find nice shapes. Not surprisingly I got a lot of cuts.

Broke (walked thro the open gate) into the cattle mart and went around all the catwalks and found my way onto the roof which I climbed across. The rusty tin and plastic sheeting roof. I also walked across a walk with an open slurry pit to one side.

We used to go into the bathrooms of the nightclub and fish out the £ coins that got stuck in the condom machine. Could get about £20 some time in all the loos

Loads more like that between the ages of 7 - 12 so late 90s/ early 00s

When I was a teenager (so not the age range asked about in the op) my mum had this little brass imp ornament.
I'd move it into different places. Creeped her out so she threw it in the bin.
I snuck outside and got it out of the bin and put it back in the house.

I kept on doing it. She'd throw it away, I'd sneak out and get it, wait a bit then put it back on display.

Fucking evil of me. She came to believe it was evil / supernatural and told the story of the possessed/evil 'talisman' until I finally confessed when I was, I dunno, in my 30s I think. Can't remember. It was years later I know that much.

I lied fantastically every time she asked about it while I was doing it. She would have sworn on a bible I had no idea and it was nothing to do with me.

You forgot manslaughter!

That's quite funny, actually.

When I was in guides, so maybe aged about eleven or twelve a group of friends and I decided we didn't like one of our new leaders. Say she was called Mrs Smith. A middle aged church going quite normal woman.
Several of us made banners and placards and held a protest at the community centre gates on pack night shouting 'out out out' and 'Smith stays we go'. The poor woman turned up and promptly left and never returned.
I still think black how utterly dreadfully we behaved.

After being told by my mum not to mess with the firescreen more or I'd beak it. I messed, it broke, I blamed my sister and she got the slap.... I'm 46 and this was nearly 40 years ago and I still feel bad!

We used to walk along some train tracks on the way to school as it was a short-cut. The track went over a road and we'd use that bridge. One snowy day we made a huge snowball. We got the the bridge and heaved it over the wall onto the road below. Heard a scream and looked over to see a pile of snow with a child's legs sticking out and the mother looking around trying to work out who threw such a huge snowball. I remember watching the local news for the next few days as I was worried we'd killed someone.

Yeah, this. There are silly childhood misdemeanours, and then there's animal/child abuse or actual psychopathic behaviour. Some of these people are probably parents, too.