Tell us something awful you did as a kid.

[Friedchickenrocks]

Aged about 8 our grandad was staying with us and I hid his glasses. Nobody thought it was me but he knew. He was literally almost blind for a week and even went poking with his walking stick down the loo. "I know it's her. I just know it, little bitch" Eventually they magically re-appeared on the sideboard. I never did own up and my mum never thought it could possibly be her blue eyed girl.

Ugh. My friends mum was friends with a lady who had daughter that had some sort of learning difficulties. We visited the girl and she gave us loads of fancy toys like my little ponys. We then went with my friend from house to house selling them. We told it was for school trip. We sold them all and spent the money on sweets. My friends mum found out that she had given us the toys and wanted the toys back. My friend told me that but nothing else came out of that.

Or were raised properly?

I don't think I did anything like as bad as some on here!
The usual stuff like carving my name into plasterboard with my fingernail (tried to blame my sister, obviously with no success), melting stuff on the radiator to see what would happen, but nothing deliberately destructive.
The one time I deliberately tried to do a practical joke, I mixed some salt into the sugar pot for April Fool's (which was not something we did in our family). It didn't get noticed until days later, whereupon my dad got the blame.

I love this thread - thank you for starting it!

I was insanely mean to my brother and always had the upper hand …. Until he twigged and gave back as good as he got

Posted half a slice of greasy pizza into letterbox on the High St.
Didn't occur to me how selfish and horrible it was.

My friends little sister drank a full bottle when she was 3. Ended up in hospital having her stomach pumped out.

We played "doctors" one would take knickers off and rest would study vulva with sticks. I was patient too...

When I was about 7, my dad built me a sand pit. We lived in a block of flats, but we each had our own garden. (My dad was a coalminer and we didn't have a lot, but we had enough.)

I lost my sandpit because there was a feral family in the block and one of their kids shat in the sandpit. After the sandpit was emptied of sand, Dad dismantled it. I was gutted.

The eldest boy in the family had a book which he left outside. In revenge, I persuaded a younger kid to help me tear it up.

I still remember. It was an illustrated copy of "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs". The eldest found us after we'd torn it - the pieces were still there -and was tearful. "Why did you do that? It cost me a shilling from a jumble sale."

It haunts me to this day. I wish to God I could go back in time.

I'm nearly 64 now and I still hate myself for doing it.

Given the number of things mentioned on this thread in which no adults ever knew, suspected, or believed that the child had done wrong makes me think about all the times I've read on here about an incident at school/a party/play group, etc where a young child has recounted events and sworn they are not to blame, and the OP (usually the parent or close relative) absolutely believes them, because why would they lie. All those people may need to rethink whether their sweet little cherubs are so innocent and truth-telling after all 😂

Animals usually do like to eat stuff they shouldn't. When we had rabbits they liked eating flowers and plants. They also used to get really excited if we had avocado and popcorn. So I would give them a bit.

But I looked it up online. It said flowers and plants are poisonous to them and they shouldn't eat avocado because of the high fat content. Luckily it wasn't enough to kill them. I just kept them away from flowers and plants and gave them a treat if we were having food they wanted they couldn't have. I always looked it up if I wasn't sure before giving it to them.

I don't mean to be a bitch, I'm neurodivergent and almost all of these are actually horrible. I don't know if I had strict parents or I was unduly worried about my behaviour, or I'm just boring. But I'd never have thought to do this type of stuff in the whole, and definitely not done it. Even as quite a small child I remember realising my behaviour made other people feel things.

This thread and the responses to it now make me realise I was the unusual one.

Killed a bird. Dropped a sofa on my brother. Scratched my brother's name into the paint on the bathroom wall the get him in trouble. Stole money. Broke things and hid them. Ate sweets that weren't mine.

I haven't read the full thread yet, but the telephone ones on here made me think of something we did often in our late teens.

Back in the late 1970s we would leave the local nightclub in the early hours and the only place open for coffee was the airport. It was open all night but there were very few flights, it was usually fairly empty except for people due on early flights sleeping across all the benches. We would run around finding the phone numbers of all the public phoneboxes, and some of the check-in desk phones and call them from other phones in the building. We found it hilarous waking people up and getting the staff to run around answering phones. Like others have said, you didn't put your money in until someone picked up so it didn't cost us anything. Looking back, it was a horrible thing to do to people trying to get some sleep.

We also use to race trolleys down the ramps in the multi-storey car park, often with people in, which looking back was probably very dangerous!

Oh I also pulled all the wallpaper off the wall in my room that my dad had spent all weekend carefully hanging

Oh I put my Barbie in the oven.

Actually come to think of it the one that got me in the most trouble was locking my mum out the house. They ended up getting the fire brigade and all the neighbours were watching. I was like 6 and I was just watching TV ignoring them all.

Oh god also screaming "I don't know him!" In public when my Dad was trying to wrangle me mid-tantrum. My poor parents!

Not for nothing was I nicknamed Wednesday Adams...but I've grown out of it ;)

When I was 6 I managed to cut off part of my friends pony tail with a pair of school scissors! We were playing hair cutting (when we should have been cutting out circles!) and I managed to hack off a huge chunk so her hair went from roughly breast level to just below shoulders. I got into SO MUCH TROUBLE and all my pocket money was confiscated for a whole six months to help pay for the subsequent professional haircut to tidy it all up.

Worse I had to sit right at the front of the class in front of the teacher for the rest of term

We stayed friends well into our late 20s when we just gradually drifted apart

Not that awful.

I used to get the bus home from primary school and was given the money for the fare. My friend, as the eldest, used to pay for several brothers and sisters and say I am paying for 4. The conductor (I'm old!) assumed I was one of the 4 and I didn't tell him otherwise and and I used to spend my fare in the sweet shop.

Pulled all the heads of next door's roses - to make 'perfume'

I used to chop bits of paper into tiny pieces and shove them down the side of the sofa for some reason. . I did this with a winning Grand National ticket. When everyone was looking for it - I helpfully suggested it 'might be down the side of the chair'. They took it, in pieces to the bookies who paid out - way back in the day!

Pooed in a B&Q display toilet. Didn’t wipe. Just closed the lid and went on my way

HAHA oh god poor staff

I announced to an aunt "my Mum says you wear too much lipstick" at a family gathering . I was about 3. Mum was mortified.

🤣🤣🤣

Very true.
Having worked as a teaching assistant for many years it's quite astonishing how inventive with truth small children can be.

Sounds like something I can imagine my DD doing. When she was little she used to move things around to mess with my head, like periodically rearranging the cutlery drawer, or sneaking out of bed at night to move things so I would see them out of the corner of my eye and wondered aloud if we had ghosts.

Once, though, she scattered lego all over her bedroom floor after bedtime then cried for me so I went rushing in. That was less amusing (at the time anyway)

@LunaNorth That is comedy gold!