What to do about this dog walking man

[Odddogwalkyman]

Every single day he is out with his very misbehaved dog, he's had at least one dog removed from him already.

Having spoken to a few other dog walkers this seems to be a common theme with him for lone women, shockingly enough, never men.

When I see him coming in my direction I move out the way, or change directions, and he always goes out of his way to follow and try and talk.

I'm currently doing offlead training, there's a massive space where I can do this, and I pop my dog back on lead when there's others about, but generally most people stick to the path and leave us to it, as I do when I'm walking and see others training in that space.

This bloke always comes over to the space I'm in and starts talking, I tell him that I'm busy and walk away, but he follows asking if I need poop bags or offering me his dogs old clothes (my dog is much larger and wouldn't fit anyway) or asking stupid bloody questions. Sometimes I just stand and not say anything, and just get my dog to sit and behave, it's impossible to carry on with her training as his dog is so jumpy and barky. He just doesn't get anything at all, and it's ruining my walks and my dogs training. He doesn't get being blatant, being rude, being polite, he acts the same regardless.

I've even tried going at different times but he's around 80% of the time.

I just don't know what to do, there's nowhere else to go walking really, definitely nowhere else to train her that's close by, and it's a really lovely space, that's just ruined by this guy getting in my space nearly every day.

I've spoken to at least 5 other woman he is like this with, and he does it if I'm talking to another woman too.

He isn't nasty or threatening so I can't report him to anyone.

I'm at a total loss as to what to do anymore.

There’s nothing you can do, other than continue to ignore him. He has as much right to be there as you do, and if he’s not being nasty or threatening… ignore him every time and he’ll maybe take the hint.

As pp has said you can't really do anything as no offence is being committed. Just don't engage with him. Try and walk your dog elsewhere?

Unfortunately there's nowhere else I can take the dog on her morning walk. I have started to go elsewhere for her evening walk.

I've ignored him for up to 20 minutes, literally standing there saying absolutely nothing while he hovers about in my space, trying to talk, same with walking away, he follows still chatting away while I say nothing. It's been 6 months, almost daily, of not engaging and he still does it every time he sees me.

Just so frustrating, but I guess you're right and I can't really do anything about it. Some of the older ladies who have spoken to me about him are really intimidated, a bigger bloke with an aggressive dog cornering them in the park to talk is pretty scary. He doesn't scare me, just pisses me off.

When you say you've tried being rude, how blunt have you been? Because some men really don't get anything other than absolutely direct messages, of the sort a man would use. Women are socialised to be nice and when we think we are being 'rude', it often really isn't. So if you haven't already, I suggest being completely clear "I don't want to talk to you, I do not want you following me, you need to leave me alone and not come up to me ever again" .

I'd then tell him you are moving over to X space to train your dog and that if he follows you again after this warning, you will regard it as harassment/stalking. If he really won't stop, tell him you will report him (and do it, even though police won't do anything it gives you a crime number to quote). Keep records of every incident. If you think it is safe enough & won't provoke him, even take a video on your phone every time. And a 'Fuck off right now, you creep' would be worth it too.

People are wrong, you CAN do something, and if he's following women around having been told not to, that is unwanted behaviour. It doesn't have to be physically or verbally aggressive to be for harassment & stalking.

• regularly following someone
• hanging around somewhere they know the person often visits

Taken from list here: https://www.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/sh/stalking-harassment/what-is-stalking-harassment/

@Gerwurtztraminer This is exactly what I would be doing at this point.

Not just ignoring - being very clear, 'Get away from me now and do not come near me again. I will phone the police if you don't'.

I was also thinking along the same lines as @Gerwurtztraminer
Would just add, it might be worth going along without your dog one morning. Just so you can concentrate on dealing with this man without having to look out for your dog. Don't know if it would work or if it makes sense. No way you should have to put up with this.

“ I’m here to unwind and train my dog. Enjoy your walk’”. Walk in other direction. If he follows you: “Sorry, what did you say your name was? gives name. “So name, I’ve made it clear I do not want to engage with you. Please respect my wishes’. . If it continues: Do excuse me name…take photo. I was just sending your photo to my partner as you are making me feel uncomfortable. I’m going to call the police..”.

Alternatively jump to “Don’t follow me or I’ll call the police “.

Come across lots of different people walking dogs. Always ones to avoid! This guy sound’s predatory though.

You can try without the dog or else be very blunt- stop stalking me and leave me alone. Or ‘I’m sorry what part of I want to train my dog & not talk to you is confusing for you?’

Some men do tend to assume women are providers of a rent an ear hole service.

@Gerwurtztraminer I haven't been that rude, yet. You're right that's probably the next step.

I've told him I'm not interested in conversation, that I'm busy, that he's interrupting my training, I've even told him I moved out the way because my dog is aggressive so he needs to back off, but he obviously sees she's not aggressive at all. Mostly now he will say something and I just ignore him completely and turn the other way. He stands for ages, sometimes asking questions that I ignore or sometimes in silence.

I've asked him to stop following me 3 times and he says he's simply walking the same way as me, so I change way, then he does too.

I usually just try and find another guy to talk to (everyone is well used to this guy by now so there are a few male dog walkers who speak until he goes away) and that's the thing that makes him bugger off eventually.

Women in the park from about 20 to 70+ complain about him doing the same thing. He's an absolute menace.

I'm not sure what he would do if I didn't have my dog, she is big and scary looking so I do feel a lot safer with her there, I'm not sure if he would even speak to me without her there tbh, it's only really dog walkers I talk to so I'm not sure if its a problem for others.

I've asked him to stop following me 3 times and he says he's simply walking the same way as me, so I change way, then he does too.

@Odddogwalkyman * *So he's deliberately doing this to women and he knows he's making them uncomfortable. He's a creep who's getting his kicks by doing this.

Take his photo and tell him you are reporting him to the police.

If you have asked him to stop following you, and he claims he is walking that way but then follows you in different directions then you can report him to the police as that is harassment. Report him. Report him every day he comes up to you. They can’t ignore 30 reports in a month about a man harassing a woman. Report him online every time.

If it's a public space also contact the local council as it sounds like the persistence and duration could be classed as anti-social behaviour. They might be able to liaise with the police to look at options (e.g. maybe a PSPO covering the space might be appropriate as yhis is impacting a range of people). This person might also be known to the police and/or council so reporting could help to build a picture.

This is, without question, harassment and intimidation. Please report him to the police.

I very much doubt you will be the first to report him. If he has had dogs officially removed it is likely he is already known to them.

If he is in the same place a lot they may be able to do some sort of occasional patrol. You, and your fellow walkers, should not have to put up with this.

OK - there's a whole gang of you women having trouble from this guy. Take yourself off to your nearest community police person and tell them.

He's never actually said anything threatening, or sexual, or nasty. Just questions all the time.

Would the police really do anything about that?

I suppose if I got a few of the women he does this to gathered together they may listen.

I know he got reported a lot of times about his last dog, but that was about the aggression etc of the dog rather than him.

It sounds as if this behaviour is falling between the cracks of the police and mental health services.

They are both stretched and so the public have to endure.

He's not having a psychotic breakdown so you have to report nuisance behaviour to the police. Once you suck up, repeated, you report. Every time. And others do the same.

Get this man the help he needs/get him to stop harassing women.

@Odddogwalkyman He is following you and pestering you.

It's enough. Just call the damn police.

Stalking is illegal, though. If he follows you you can do something.
It's going to be hard, and I would probably need to go home afterwards, but something as clear as "you are following me. Leave me alone. If you continue to harass me I will report you to the police. Never approach me again. " Then leave. Don't answer any questions. Even have it on a piece of paper and hand it to him if he tries to talk to you.

Then do, actually report him to the police even this probably won't work.. Give them a list of dates and times that he has followed you and harassed you. Give them a list of when you have told him to leave you alone.

If other women are experiencing the same as you, would they be willing to do this as well?

Now that I’ve read your updates, and the fact that you’ve told him to stop following you, I’d like to change my initial advice and suggest, as others have, that you report to the local police. Good luck. I’m raging on your. behalf.

Walk a different route?

If all he’s doing is asking questions in all honesty the police aren’t going to do anything at all about it. They don’t even have the capacity to deal with violent crimes in a timely manner currently so a dog walker trying to make non-offensive conversation in the local park is unlikely to even get you a crime reference number.

I would try just being really blunt and direct as others have said, just say you want to be left alone.

We have 2 people like this on our dog walks, 1 man and 1 woman, both just don’t seem able to take a hint and desperately ask questions/try to make conversation. Neither are people I would particularly choose to socialise with and it is irritating however I’m aware that actually it’s very possible that they both live alone and I may be the only conversation they get that day, so I stand for 10 mins, chat, and move on.

Do you think that he has a mental health issues or learning disability?

I agree with the others about speaking to the police as clearly he's a nuisance to women. I'd hope they'd be able to send someone to speak to him and also see if there is anyone supporting him if he himself is vulnerable.

He seems like a nuisance and a creep. There must be other places to take your dog though, I live in a city and there are still lots of different places I can take my dog for a walk. There can’t only be one field where you live surely

All the posters telling the OP to just go to a different area to walk her dog, why should she? He's harrassing lots of women, should they all just find somewhere else to go? What if he follows them there? This IS harrassment and they shouldn't have to put up with it. I'd be reporting him and encouraging other walkers to do the same.

You describe almost exactly the same behaviour I encountered. I was always forthright to the point of rude so eventually the man stopped hassling me, but a number of women spoke to a local dog warden and the police. He was advised to steer clear of the park as part of an initial conversation, which did the trick.

Definitely speak to your local police force, and lead with the fact that he follows you even when you tell him you are walking away.