What to do about this dog walking man

[Odddogwalkyman]

Every single day he is out with his very misbehaved dog, he's had at least one dog removed from him already.

Having spoken to a few other dog walkers this seems to be a common theme with him for lone women, shockingly enough, never men.

When I see him coming in my direction I move out the way, or change directions, and he always goes out of his way to follow and try and talk.

I'm currently doing offlead training, there's a massive space where I can do this, and I pop my dog back on lead when there's others about, but generally most people stick to the path and leave us to it, as I do when I'm walking and see others training in that space.

This bloke always comes over to the space I'm in and starts talking, I tell him that I'm busy and walk away, but he follows asking if I need poop bags or offering me his dogs old clothes (my dog is much larger and wouldn't fit anyway) or asking stupid bloody questions. Sometimes I just stand and not say anything, and just get my dog to sit and behave, it's impossible to carry on with her training as his dog is so jumpy and barky. He just doesn't get anything at all, and it's ruining my walks and my dogs training. He doesn't get being blatant, being rude, being polite, he acts the same regardless.

I've even tried going at different times but he's around 80% of the time.

I just don't know what to do, there's nowhere else to go walking really, definitely nowhere else to train her that's close by, and it's a really lovely space, that's just ruined by this guy getting in my space nearly every day.

I've spoken to at least 5 other woman he is like this with, and he does it if I'm talking to another woman too.

He isn't nasty or threatening so I can't report him to anyone.

I'm at a total loss as to what to do anymore.

I actually would consider talking to the police about this. Not in a 999 way, just in a keeping-the-peace way. I'm not sure you'd necessarily get much of a response but to my mind a bloke refusing to leave female walkers alone is a serious problem when they're all talking about it and changing their routines to try and shake him off.

I would try to audio record any further encounters, with you clearly asking him to leave you alone. Try to get a picture of him. Then get in touch with your local police Safer Neighbourhood Team. If this guy is being a menace regularly, it's something they should be able to deal with. Perhaps there may be another female park regular who could confirm his behaviour?

Good luck. 💐

I've asked him to stop following me 3 times and he says he's simply walking the same way as me, so I change way, then he does too.

He isn't just doing "nothing", he's harassing you and other women as well. This needs immediate reporting to the police.

Maybe your local paper or facebook group would be interested in this man?

Report on 101 , you can do it online , and get all the other women to do it too.

We had a man hanging around the park making women feel intimidated and the police did ‘extra’ patrols (there weren’t any before) and he seemed to clear off.

Absolutely report on 101 or online

my mum got harassed by a man at the local shopping centre and was really shook up. She reported online and was surprised the next day the police turned up

they said absolutely the right thing to report as they can build a profile of the man and as other people have said do extra patrols and try to stop the situation from escalating

I agree with the advice to tell him to go away or you will consider it harassment. I would video the interaction as well. Then go to police. And film it every time.

Post on local Facebook groups encouraging others to do the same as well, so there are multiple reports.

I would be worried his behaviour might escalate to a physical attack as he clearly is deliberately harassing lone women.

OP have you considered that this guy might be autistic or have other learning difficulties. He may not pick up on normal social cues etc and the fact he is constantly in the park is a bit of a give away. Please have some compassion and kindness.

Yes, really, women should just put up with being harassed and it possibly escalating to something really dangerous without complaint, shouldn't they? It doesn't matter if loads of women are being made to feel really uncomfortable so long as the man's sensibilities are protected.

They have shown considerable compassion and kindness by not reporting him to date, but even in the (IMO unlikely) event that he is is autistic or similar, thats not a free pass to make people feel intimidated. Also, did you miss the bit where this guy is apparently only unable to read social cues from women, since one of the ways of getting him to go away seems to be enlisting another man? Strangley selective that, eh?

It's entirely possible that he is ND, or has MH issues, but one of the things he needs help with is behaving appropriately in the community. I used to walk my sadly departed dog for a bit of private time to think and be with him outside. I was fine saying hello to other people I walked past but this level of forced interaction is not ok.

Thank you all, when I took my pup to the park this morning this guy was following an 18/19yo around. I joined her and we ignored him, he followed for 10 mins or so and then left us alone. The park was very quiet today so I wasn't blatantly rude to him, I didn't feel safe enough to do that as there was just me, the younger girl walking her dog and him.

I've sent an email to the community policing team now, and I'll be encouraging others in the park to do the same. Hopefully they can send some community officers for walks around more regularly.

I agree with @Gerwurtztraminer and others.

I was really surprised on another thread that someone seemed to feel anxious because another man she saw daily said hello as they passed. Couldn’t understand the issue.

This is far beyond that. It’s harassment, plain and simple and he’s doing it to multiple women.

I would tell him to back off in no uncertain terms and if he persists, I would most certainly call the police.

I imagine that there probably is something underlying going on with him. That doesn't mean that dozens of women, and it is only women, should be made to feel uncomfortable or frightened by this man every single day.

How dare you suggest I'm not being compassionate or kind, this man has had plenty of time and chances, where is the kindness and compassion for all the women who just want to walk around the park with their dogs and not be harassed?

I have probably done him a kindness by reporting as I have because maybe he will be signposted for some much needed support now. I shouldn't have to be intimidated almost daily to prove what a good person I am.

I think if you can ask the others to film and report too that might help. It may be harder to ignore if there’s a group of you he is harassing.

Incredible

If someone started talking to me and I did not want them to, my lack of responses and or saying sorry, "I'm trying to concentrate on..." Always does the trick. Honestly, it is really that simple.

Edit - just noted post above mine, if he is harassing you, call the cops.

(Dons flack jacket)
apologies to anyone who feels mortally offended by my post that was not my intention. I just thought I should counteract the call the cops/ hang him now posts which seem to proliferate mumsnet these days. If OP feels is a wider problem then indeed try and get some help with it. Nor did I mean OP was not being kind or compassionate. A lot of posts above do not display this sentiment.

Definitely report to the police, 101. They will go have a chat with him. Its woryh it, it might escalate when someone is too timid.

If he is following people, young girls etc... it is stalking. Especially if there repeatedly. It needs to stop. The man, if autistic needs to be taught the social ques, plus following young women is really upsetting. You've done right thing op. I'd ring 101 and report that way too so it is

You can report it to the council too, is there a parks officer

Do excuse me 🙄

It's 100% harassment. You don't have to put up with feeling frightened. It's not about being "kind": this man is clearly overstepping, only with women, despite being asked many times to stop. Even if it IS due to neurodiversity, it's not OK.

What is OK, is for you to get the police involved. And, as others have said, other women he is harassing, too.

If you feel able/safe, tell him to stop and that he is harassing you while recording the interaction, as that way you have evidence (so he can't claim "I was just being friendly"). Also keep a diary: dates, times, as this will be a useful log that the police can use.

This is not about being "kind". This is about you and other park users feeling and being safe.

Sinister and unpleasant, this definitely needs reporting. Glad to hear that you have emailed OP.

Someone never fails to post this irritating platitude. It's such a recurrent theme on every thread in which a woman complains of being harrassed that no one would be blamed for automatically assuming it wasn't being posted in good faith.

It's also doing a grave disservice to people who might be genuinely neuro diverse. By a very wide margin, men on the autisic spectrum don't all behave like this. And isnt it a further interesting pattern that these lonely men who are seemingly incapable of reading social cues always, always approach lone women?

This ilk are the reason why, if I'm approached by strange men for whatever reason, I'll tell them to ask for whatever it is they want from the nearest man. If they push back I continue to point out that it's odd they should make a beeline for lone women and inquire whether this is a habit. I'm sick to death of men who think nothing of claiming my time, attention and space by some form of divine right. This is the type of man to whom the above poster is admonishing women to 'be kind'. No: fuck that. They are not kind to me when they persistently foist their unwanted presence into my face.

This stalker's neuro-status, whether typical or diverse, is not OP's responsibility. She simply expects, not unreasonably, to be able to walk unmolested. He needs reporting as what he is, a stalker, and the police are duty-bound to treat this invasive criminal offence with the seriousness it deserves.

'Be Kind' can get to fuck.

I’m really not understanding this thread.

A huge over reaction by everyone.