Odd man who says hello

[Chilto]

I walk my year 6 child to school, crossing 3 roads. Sometimes we encounter a man who’s about 30s and he says hello. I mutter a hello back, but we don’t know him and tbh I get slightly bad vibes from him (hard to explain). But the man has obviously done nothing wrong.
To get ready for secondary school I am considering letting dc walk to school alone, but am worried they might encounter the man! I have explained to dc that we don’t actually know the man but that I respond to hello out of politeness and if it happens to them they can mutter hello but must keep walking, don’t stop. I also said that adults shouldn’t talk to kids on their own so if it happens they should let me know.
I am worried re letting dc walk alone. Grateful for any thoughts

Is there another child walking the same route? Is the route busy with plenty of people around?

What's the man doing? Is he just hanging around or is he on his way to school or work?

Is the man a local? In some parts of the country it is normal to acknowledge others in this way if you see them sometime and place every day. It took me a while to get used to it when I moved from London to the north west.

Trust your instincts. Can your child ride a bike to school instead?

I also said that adults shouldn’t talk to kids on their own

Says YOU.

live in your own insular little world, if you must, but you're doing your DS no favours.

Trust your instincts. Is it the same route to secondary school and will she have any friends heading in the same direction?

That being said, I used to live in a city where on the way to the bus stop to go the school, locals would often say "hello" or "good morning". Now living in London, you don't get any of that.

Maybe, like people where I live, he's just polite and recognises that he sees you regularly. He won't even be directing his hello at your son given that he's a child. I assume you are literally just walking past him in the opposite direction? I pass a man on my way to work regularly. He's walking to work the opposite way to me. We always exchange a hello or good morning, sometimes the odd comment about the weather or that we're grateful it's Friday. He's not about to attack me as a lone woman at 8:30am or befriend me.

You're over reacting here. Yes, teach your child not to engage in conversation with strangers, but a simple hello is fine and good manners. Without you there he's highly unlikely to say anything to your son anyway.

Where do you live? In my neck of the woods it's normal to greet people we pass, stranger or not. We're a friendly bunch but I appreciate it seems odd to people who aren't used to this

Trust your instincts

Where I live people say morning/hello in passing whether you know them or not, not everyone is a serial killer.

Blimey, I say hello to everyone I pass in my village. Less so in town.

Good lord some people are paranoid these days. I say good morning to flippin everyone, particularly those I see regularly, whether I know them or not.

It's a totally normal thing to say good morning to people, even strangers, you see regularly isn't it? I often see the same faces whilst waiting for the bus or walking to work and we all do the general small talk of morning, urgh it's Monday again or discussing the weather. I'd think it more odd to see the same person regularly and never even say hello.

It's normal to speak to other people isn't it? Why guilty till proven innocent?

Oh yes, the dreaded 'hello'! Goodness me, OP, it's harmless. Outside of the London bubble it is quite normal, and expected, to be polite to those you pass. There is a world of difference between encouraging your child to be polite in response and it leading to a potential risky situation.

Sounds like the man could be ND to me.

My DS is 12 & autistic & very sociable. He will say hello to anybody, without distinction & in fact this is one of the factors in him getting mobility money within his DLA award. Obviously, now we are with him whenever he goes out & try to tell him not to, or explain to people, but I can quite see that when he is grown up & going out on his own, he will say hello to everyone. He means no harm at all, quite the opposite in fact.

Where I used to live, when DC were at primary, we'd often see a rather eccentric man that we named 'The Funny Man' because he'd be around at school drop off and pick ups and would tell the children to have a pillow fight or to throw baked beans at the teachers. Perfectly harmless but just a bit off.

When my DC started walking in their own to secondary, he was still around. Dancing, waving his cane or his top hat. All the kids knew him, some older ones were spiteful to him, but he really was harmless.

Is this man similar, OP? By that I mean, just very different. Bit off.

Because “man” I guess

op I think that’s the right advice. Return the hello but not stopping to talk and being aware he’s just a (friendly) stranger.

Allthescreens · Today 10:21

Sounds like the man could be ND to me”

What? Why? Because he says hello to people he sees most days?

Yep, the world has finally gone mad.

I’m surprised by the people saying it isn’t like that in London. I live in east London and people are super friendly here. Strangers always say good morning to me and husband too but there is a really good community here

Agree with you @Isitbedtimeyet3 . North London here, fair amount of helloing going on.

However, OP, I know that's not what you're asking. In your shoes and as you feel uncomfortable, I'd be minded to just give your DS some straightforward and open advice along the lines you give. What does DS think?

Because reading this post, I could be reading about my own ND DS in 20 years time. So that was the first thought to enter my head. As an SEN mum, I do see it everywhere & it scares me how tricky the world seems to be for ND adults, particularly men.

Of course, if you don't have to consider these things in your daily life, it would seem crazy to you. But it very much dominates my world, I'm afraid.

So all he does is say hello as you pass him?

That's a very normal, polite and socially appropriate thing to do so what is it that feels off to you?

Ok, see your point @Allthescreens but saying hello to people you see most days is a really ordinary thing to do in most places.