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Yesterday I cried at Parents evening 🫣

80 replies

Sickoffamilydrama · 23/02/2024 00:12

Yesterday I actually cried at Parents evening and I honestly don't care and I'm still feeling so happy and relieved.

It was not big blubbering crying 😭 but had to compose myself and the teacher we were talking did notice and asked if I was alright, I suppose more welling up.

To give you the background DD is autistic, dyslexic and dyscalculic so has always struggled at school but she's always been persistent.

When she started secondary she nose dived she stopped talking and developed more stims. There was some talk of her not taking maths GCSE, she was bottom of the stats for everything. I wondered what sort of life she'd have especially as she has always wanted to just have a 'normal' life.

But of course because she was a good quiet girl she got no real extra support in mainstream school.

I had a job change and got a significant pay rise so in a moment of desperation started looking at private schools and moved her to a small non selective school.

Well the difference in her is like a miracle, she's been there a few years now and yesterday the maths teacher was saying that she finished a piece of work that no one else had managed and she's finally settled to be held some of the concepts. That is what set me off crying 😂

I'm over the moon for her they were all saying that she's doing really well in most subjects and for some she may get equivalent of an A. She's also become a bit of a chatter box and is well liked.

I honestly don't know wether to throw a party or cry for hours to see her thriving and happy is worth every penny of sacrifice.

OP posts:
Alloveragain3 · 23/02/2024 00:18

Such a lovely post. Yey for you and yey for her!

Sickoffamilydrama · 23/02/2024 00:20

Oh and just to add I'm well known in my family for being able to do really horrible things but stay composed, I'm an ex funeral director.

I'm blaming middle aged hormone fluctuations not being an overly proud mum.

OP posts:
Orla32 · 23/02/2024 00:20

Incredible!!! What extra support do you think has helped in the new school?

I would be crying too!

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CactusTheOnlyPricksWorthDealingWith · 23/02/2024 00:32

That’s brilliant op x

Sickoffamilydrama · 23/02/2024 00:33

Orla32 · 23/02/2024 00:20

Incredible!!! What extra support do you think has helped in the new school?

I would be crying too!

It's small so maybe 15 in a class so they get to know their pupils.

They have a really good culture of fostering the individual to be the best rather than just all about academic success.

The pastoral is really good, she used to really struggle and worry about things like when and where she could go to the bathroom, what the next lesson was basically the unpredictability of a large busy school. She'd then freeze up and not ask for help. They helped her with a card she could just present rather than having to speak.

They gently and discreetly reminded her to go to the bathroom and when she had an illnesses that needed painkillers intermittently they'd regularly asks her if she needed them (she often won't ask until she's absolutely sobbing).

They encourage her to try new things to be herself and accept her for who she is and build her confidence.

They've adapted teaching styles to support and suit her and their other pupils I assume.

OP posts:
Sickoffamilydrama · 23/02/2024 00:38

Oh and they encourage all pupils to do after school activities ( that are free).

Some of these have really enriched her life, she's now got a passion for drama and has done plays with speaking parts.

Which again amazes me as she has selective mutism and was very quiet for years. But it also kind of makes sense as girls with autism often mirror and copy their peers and acting is taking on someone else's persona.

OP posts:
CrikeyMajikey · 23/02/2024 01:02

Brilliant. What a wonderful thing to shed a tear over.

I moved my dyslexic DD to private for a few years and it was the best thing for her.

Lizzieregina · 23/02/2024 01:05

@Sickoffamilydrama your joy has made me smile!

Scalby · 23/02/2024 01:09

Throw a party and cry. x

Fraaahnces · 23/02/2024 01:11

Happy tears are always great! I’m so pleased you have found the right place for your DD!

TheBlueAndAmber · 23/02/2024 01:26

Oh that’s wonderful!!

Well Done to you, for changing schools - and to your Dd for all her achievements!! 🏆🙌💐

Itslookinglikeabeautifulday · 23/02/2024 01:33

Lovely to hear Op. x

Whowhatwhywherewhen · 23/02/2024 06:19

This is such a nice post to read. Happy for you and your daughter op!

Dontjudgeme101 · 23/02/2024 06:23

Congratulations OP 💐💐💐

DisforDarkChocolate · 23/02/2024 06:27

Be proud, what a girl she is.

themidimit · 23/02/2024 06:32

As a teacher I can assure you we like it when parents cry from happiness!

FawnFrenchieMum · 23/02/2024 06:34

Such a lovely post and amazing for you & your DD.

Also makes me incredibly sad for all the SEND children that are unable to access these facilities. England education system is failing so many young people.

Sunandseaforme · 23/02/2024 06:40

My DD has SEND. At age 4 she was non verbal, and had only just begun to walk and was only just out of nappies. She thrived at school and I cried when the teacher told me her reading and spelling were ‘average’ (happy tears!).

Mummadeze · 23/02/2024 07:13

Very happy for you, especially as a mother of an autistic DD whose secondary school made her very mentally unwell. I also moved schools (in Year 10) and it has helped a bit but not to anywhere near the extent yours has. Her new school is also good, but it feels perhaps a bit late to reverse the damage that has been done. The relief you are feeling must be immense and no wonder you cried. I have cried numerous times actually too since my DD changed schools, just because the staff care about her and support her so much better. My hope is she passes a few GCSEs and becomes more independent as well as that she recovers from her mental health issues (anxiety and OCD). Best of luck for the future and keep being proud and happy. X

Sickoffamilydrama · 23/02/2024 07:20

Thank you everyone and glad I made some of you smile.

DD is the most persistent and resilient girl she's always been desperate to be liked and be able to hold her own with her peers which she is now doing.

Yes it is really unfair @FawnFrenchieMum that children with SEND don't all get a chance to thrive, we are missing out as a society by not supporting them.

That's lovely @Sunandseaforme what an achievement.

OP posts:
Sickoffamilydrama · 23/02/2024 07:30

I'm so sorry to hear that @Mummadeze but glad you DD is doing better.

DD did start to tip into OCD as well when she was struggling at her previous school luckily that seems to have settled down.

That's the thing with many autistic girls they suffer a lot but don't seem to show it as boys do then end up with mental health issues like OCD and Anorexia.

OP posts:
AndThatWasNY · 23/02/2024 07:37

Oh so good. I remember when DSS was 8 (many years ago) and he couldn't read more than basic words. His mum moved so he changed to a different school. They picked up he was dyslexic, put some coloured plastic Infront of the page which was an instant game changer, gave a one on one session every week and he was reading Harry Potter by aged 9. Was so wonderful.

48wheaties · 23/02/2024 07:43

What a lovely post, OP. Could you tell is which school this is?

Cocothecoconut · 23/02/2024 07:46

So happy for her and you for taking that leap and changing her school to give her what she needed

SandyWaves · 23/02/2024 08:20

This is beautiful.

Congratulations to you and your daughter! x

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