Yesterday I cried at Parents evening 🫣

[Sickoffamilydrama]

Yesterday I actually cried at Parents evening and I honestly don't care and I'm still feeling so happy and relieved.

It was not big blubbering crying 😭 but had to compose myself and the teacher we were talking did notice and asked if I was alright, I suppose more welling up.

To give you the background DD is autistic, dyslexic and dyscalculic so has always struggled at school but she's always been persistent.

When she started secondary she nose dived she stopped talking and developed more stims. There was some talk of her not taking maths GCSE, she was bottom of the stats for everything. I wondered what sort of life she'd have especially as she has always wanted to just have a 'normal' life.

But of course because she was a good quiet girl she got no real extra support in mainstream school.

I had a job change and got a significant pay rise so in a moment of desperation started looking at private schools and moved her to a small non selective school.

Well the difference in her is like a miracle, she's been there a few years now and yesterday the maths teacher was saying that she finished a piece of work that no one else had managed and she's finally settled to be held some of the concepts. That is what set me off crying 😂

I'm over the moon for her they were all saying that she's doing really well in most subjects and for some she may get equivalent of an A. She's also become a bit of a chatter box and is well liked.

I honestly don't know wether to throw a party or cry for hours to see her thriving and happy is worth every penny of sacrifice.

@Sickoffamilydrama An absolutely lovey post.

Please, please, please tell the school - write to the Headteacher - use the exact word in your post – short and to the point - no need to embellish them – they are written from the heart.

It does the world of good for teachers to receive ‘positive feedback’/lovely letters from parents – some of them may ‘well up’ in the staff room! 🙂

Best wishes - Dan

Your post has made my day OP.

I’d quite like to stick it in Classics for other SEN parents to read and remind us that there is hope (I’ve been there in the worry DS will never be able to achieve even bottom set). And also as two fingers up to anyone who says ‘[all] private schools are shit’ clearly they’ve done a great job at supporting your DD.

Revel in your joy.

That is so lovely. Private is sometimes the very best choice you can make for your child and it’s great that you found the right school for your dd.

(Sorry though I couldn’t work out what it was that set you off re concepts).

That sounds amazing! It must be a relief.
I wish we could afford to do this for my son, he's due to start secondary school in September and I don't think he's going to cope

Huge congratulations- well done that girl! And Mum x

I also have an autistic daughter who can struggle socially but is a good pupil and is so black and white that she is in school to learn.

I admit to also crying at her first parents evening at secondary school, I was just so proud… bet the teacher thought I was bonkers… I get it.

I'm so glad for her and for you. Thank you for sharing such a positive story!

This is lovely. I am so happy for you and your daughter.

But I must say I'm sad that you had to pay for her to recieve this support and education. This government is truly failing our kids.

OP, I work in a school very much like the one your DD goes to and we hear these stories quite regularly. It’s wonderful and the school will really appreciate an email saying what you said here.

Well done to DD. She sounds a remarkable young lady.

I would be proud too. The money you gave to change school will positively impact her life forever along with her own children and parenting. You sound a great mum

That actually brought a tear to my eye reading that op. My son is autistic and struggles with some things now he’s at secondary. Brilliant post !x

And this is why it is so frustrating when so many people attack private schools. For many children they are a life saver with the smaller class sizes, better pastoral care and extra curricular activities that children can pick and choose from so that they find something that fits them and they then gain confidence etc.

So happy for you op and well done your daughter! ❤

That’s great.
my daughter’s private school is also great with her special needs. I doubt she’d pass English and maths GCSE in a state school.

@Sickoffamilydrama Wonderful! For both of you. Well done for supporting her and fighting for what she needs.

I hope my son reaches a similar stage. The school sounds great- You don’t live in NW England do you?!

Well I've just had a little cry from you too- how bloody FANTASTIC!

I am so pleased for you and your daughter - and it is exactly this situation which makes me mad about labour wanting to bring in vat for private schools. There are so many parents which children with SEN who give up free school places and work hard to put their children into private schools which have smaller class sizes and better cater for SEN needs.

That is wonderful, I'm a firm believer that standard schooling does not suit all students (particularly those with sen).
My dh is dyslexic and remarked how he only improved after a private tutor helped him learn maths in his own way, rather than the way they wanted him to learn it.

We need to do more to support those who are struggling and often get lost as they are quiet, I was one of those (struggled in maths and was very quiet but no one supported me) and I remember leaving school was such a relief, I thrived after that.

Definitely throw a party!

thats taken me back to the first parents night I had where it was just a list of things he couldn’t do. It was over teams and just screen after screen of positive reviews. I actually felt good every time I saw laptop after that. Massive congratulations to your daughter.

That's fantastic @Sickoffamilydrama I'm so pleased that it's worked out so well for your daughter. We've been in a similar situation, DD has autism, anxiety, OCD and PTSD, didn't cope with transition to secondary, so we moved her to a small independent, but unfortunately although they're lovely and nurturing we've not managed to get her in to school enough for it to make a difference.

That's fantastic @Sickoffamilydrama DS can spend years struggling with something and then all of a sudden click. Enjoy these moments and be very very proud.

So sorry to all of those that are struggling or have been in the past, it's heart breaking as a parent to watch your precious child go through that. If I could I'd make sure every child had a chance like she does.

For those asking the School in near Oxford in the South West, so anyone who wants its details PM me. It was actually set up over 100 years ago to ensure girls got an education, it's gone co-ed which I'm not so keen on but they need to ensure they stay financially stable so I can understand the reasoning.

@DanFmDorking I have written to the headmistress today, I may even do a nice social media post (without mentioning all of DD struggles to maintain her privacy).

@willWillSmithsmith To explain why I cried the maths teacher was saying that when they were recently going through a few concepts and doing work around them DD was the only one who completed this game and got to the top of the pyramid (DD was saying every time you got something wrong you went back down again). Until very recently DD had to use her fingers and would often still get it wrong with very basic mathematics.

@BloodyEasterBonnets so sorry to hear that I know exactly what you mean it's also that people don't think the quiet child who is no trouble has SEN, when we were going through diagnosis some teachers seemed to actively discourage us as she didn't fit the stereo type, a great teacher watched her though and realised she was Mirroring other pupils and then started to spot other things.

@NImumconfused oh no how frustrating, unusually DD has never school refused although DH & I had awful attendance and school experiences so we have been very strict on attendance since our children were tiny or we've just been lucky in that regard!

@Daftasabroom that's interesting to hear and something I hadn't thought of, maybe DD as well just needs a lot longer for things to click.

Such a lovely post, and I'm so pleased for you both - well done for making that life-changing decision!

I've also had a similar experience - my daughter with OCD, anxiety and some sensory issues couldn't cope with the big local comprehensive so we moved her to a tiny independent school, and the difference has been amazing. I feel really lucky that we could afford to do this - I've absolutely no idea what we would have done otherwise, and I really feel for those who don't have the same opportunity.

This is a lovely post to read. You're rightly super proud of her, and for yourself for knowing she could flourish elsewhere.

Side note, the funeral director who supported me recently was the loveliest individual I've ever met, it's an overlooked skillset/profession x

And this is why I will never be against the option of choosing private schools.