Yesterday I cried at Parents evening 🫣

[Sickoffamilydrama]

Yesterday I actually cried at Parents evening and I honestly don't care and I'm still feeling so happy and relieved.

It was not big blubbering crying 😭 but had to compose myself and the teacher we were talking did notice and asked if I was alright, I suppose more welling up.

To give you the background DD is autistic, dyslexic and dyscalculic so has always struggled at school but she's always been persistent.

When she started secondary she nose dived she stopped talking and developed more stims. There was some talk of her not taking maths GCSE, she was bottom of the stats for everything. I wondered what sort of life she'd have especially as she has always wanted to just have a 'normal' life.

But of course because she was a good quiet girl she got no real extra support in mainstream school.

I had a job change and got a significant pay rise so in a moment of desperation started looking at private schools and moved her to a small non selective school.

Well the difference in her is like a miracle, she's been there a few years now and yesterday the maths teacher was saying that she finished a piece of work that no one else had managed and she's finally settled to be held some of the concepts. That is what set me off crying 😂

I'm over the moon for her they were all saying that she's doing really well in most subjects and for some she may get equivalent of an A. She's also become a bit of a chatter box and is well liked.

I honestly don't know wether to throw a party or cry for hours to see her thriving and happy is worth every penny of sacrifice.

I love this for you and your daughter OP. Wonderful to read

I would love a list of schools like this one. My DS is 9, autistic and extremely anxious, and already I am full of trepidation about his secondary school experience. So delighted your DD is thriving!

Fantastic - you must be over the moon. Great to have happy tears at parents' evening.

I read Main Female Character - Fern Brady's memoir about her autism - she wasn't diagnosed until an adult and she discusses how difficult she found education - not academically but trying to mask her autism in mainsteam instead of it being embraced. It should be required reading for teachers.

I well up at most parents evenings, i get too emosh when people say nice things about my kids and I don't have any of the background struggle you have to justify it!

@Sickoffamilydrama excellent, well done, thanks 🙂

I have name changed for this so it doesn't relate to any of my other posts as maybe identifying.

I wanted to say how wonderful to hear this is, I too have a child with selective mutism and dyscalculia and academically not meeting any of their expectations.

I worry so much about their future and just hoping he manages to fulfil his dreams, I worry about if he wants to go to college or university but not getting the grades required. I have so many what ifs, I just want him to be happy in himself, everything seems to focus on grades which at the moment seems so hard for him and I know he worries about such things.

Thank you so much for posting such a positive post and a huge well done to your daughter.

It's so hard isn't it, I hope he has happiness and success.

This is such a nice post ❤️ lovely to see the difference a school can make with teachers who know how to have patience and the experience to work with kids who are capable and just need the support and push. My sister works in a specialist physical disabilities school and some are such lovely kids. They just need the time and support to flourish. All the best to ur daughter xxx

Well done to you and your dd! We made the decision to send our ds to private school for secondary as he was already struggling at primary. He was non verbal until he was 7, is ND and has dyslexia and also has a sensory processing disorder which makes him uncoordinated. It was the best decision we ever made!
His last parents evening in year 6 I was in tears as a couple of the teachers told us he would thrive there and we were doing the right thing. One even said he was God's gift to mankind which was obviously a bit OTT and embarrassing in a full school hall of parents but after all the worry and stress about ds it brought tears to my eyes.
He's almost 21 now and called home last night to say he was coming home early for Easter to go to an Old Boys sports weekend.

Love this, we’ll done to your daughter!

(And a lovely start to my Saturday morning!)

Ah OP I’m crying too! What a lovely story. You sound like an amazing mum.

Ah that's making me a bit emotional nevermind you! What a lovely thread to start my day, thank you for sharing your lovely girls success with us

Well I welled up reading this 😂

It's lovely that her story is bringing a smile or tear to everyone.

That's wonderful @Manthide

I'm just a normal Mum @ClairDeLaLune sometimes I get it wrong sometimes I get it right but just keep on trying to do my best with no instruction manual 😉

As a mum of autistic girls this post really made me smile.
Well done to you for recognising and supporting and DD for managing change and thriving.

But it also made me feel sad then so many don't have this opportunity and fall through the cracks.
I'm a mum of autistic girls. Who all suffered with MH.
We couldn't offer them private education but undoubtedly small classes, calmer predictable surroundings and nuturing teachers would would have been so much better for them.
Youngest DD 16 has been out of school since she was 14 due to traumatic breakdown. We have battled with LA to get her an education - which is currently limited 121 tuition ( EOTAS).
She was at a Grammar, we looked for specialist schools but there are hardly any , none with places available and usually are 90% boys- often with behaviour challenges. Majority of special schools don't offer academic curriculum.
Autistic girls are really let down - invisible.

Sorry ranting! Congratulations OP I would have cried too!

Amazing so happy for you!
I moved my autistic teen daughter to a small independent private school in January after 3 months out of mainstream with severe anxiety. I've sold my house to pay for school fees but everyday I could cry with relief and joy that she goes to school happy and comes home talking about the things she learnt.
She is finally truly able to be herself. Mainstream education was so damaging.

I love this. My DD is the same as your dd but 10. I hope the same for her in the future.

OP I totally get it.

My son is autistic and about to start high school. He is very intelligent and capable, but I am terrified about how he will cope. I will be happy for him just to get out of high school alive TBH.

That's great, thank you so much for sharing, @Sickoffamilydrama. Though like others here, I am sad that it takes your being able to afford a private school to give your daughter the type of help she needs to achieve her potential.

How awful for your DD @Runnerduck34 we really are as a society failing to these girls. DD has made me a better person I've learnt so much being her mother and learning a different perspective to the world.

My goodness @coolpineapple1 that is a huge sacrifice but I can completely understand. I put myself (I'm the main breadwinner by a huge margin) under huge pressure and stress to keep the money coming in but I don't think I'd go as far as selling the house.

Good for you and your dd.

An update just for @DanFmDorking the head wrote back to me, she read my letter at their staff meeting and it cheered up the staff on a rainy evening

You must be so pleased that your decision paid off so brilliantly, and so relieved that there is finally a glimpse of the possibilities for your daughter.

Well done for being such a wonderful advocate for her.

Yes very happy it was always a risk but it was worth a go. That's all most parents want for their children a chance!

I don't know I'm that great an advocate half the time I haven't a clue what support to ask for although it seems like she's not needing me to intervene at all at the moment but she starts GCSES this year so that might all change!

What a lovely post and what a wonderful mum you are.
My son’s GF (both 22) has autism and also has wonderful parents. I have known her since she was small and can see how much they have done for her. They have fought hard for her in education and for her the support she needed. She has become a happy quirky young woman who is using her potential.