Online dating when plus sized - be honest, is it grim??

[Pepta]

I am 3 stone heavier than when I last tried OLD 15 years ago. I had no problems getting dates then, met my (ex) DH, but with an extra 15 years on me as well as the extra weight I am really nervous about trying it again. Any positive stories anyone can share? Im fully expecting it to be a depressing experience, which isn't the best frame of mind for giving it a go!!

Same here @Pepta - 19 years older and three stone heavier.

I can’t imagine anyone ever finding me attractive again.

I don't think size has much to do with it, OLD is grim full stop.

And if a man judges you by your size rather than who you are, then is he someone you'd want to date?

PS I bet you both have plenty to offer a prospective partner. Perhaps reframe your search as "what can he offer me?"

You’ll be fine different people like different things

but I think the issue comes when people post misleading pictures to make themselves look thinner than they are so when they turn up the person isn’t interested

There is dating sites for curvy women/ BBW women.

I didn't have any problems, size 16 and obese, but I was honest, said something like I could do with losing 50lb. Been with partner 11 years now and had plenty of dates before meeting him.

There are only slightly fewer overweight men in the UK than there are women.

So the chances are your matches will be overweight too.

OLD is grim for everyone at the best of times, but i have found as someone similar to you, its spectacularly bad.

Noone hS been rude, but im only 'approached' by men who assume im desparate, or are so socially unaware its unreal (incel vibes), or both. Ive given up.

I'm overweight and my attitude towards men is ' can this man enhance or add to my life'?
I haven't tried OLD recently as it can be very looks based but I've had plenty of nice guys flirt with me in real life so I don't think a few extra stone is always going to be a problem.

I think with OLD honesty is key.
But I don't like relying on photos as that is just a micro second snapshot image of them. I know nice attractive men in real life who online I'd swipe left on based on their photos. And the same may be true of my photos.

I definitely wouldn't go on a site for bbw as firstly I'm probably not big enough & also I'm slowly losing the weight! In a few months I intend to be a little slimmer if possible.

Sadly both overweight men and overweight women often say they don't find overweight people of the opposite sex attractive

OLD is so tough as it's ALL about looks. The first thing people do is SEE static pictures. It's not like IRL where you see people move and laugh and interact

Are there dating sites that organise 'singles nights' like back in the day? Where people mingle and you can see a whole moving talking human being?

Just make sure you have a full length photo. Plenty of men don't mind someone overweight but deception is always a big no.

You'll be fine. Loads of men like a plus size woman. Just be honest with your pics.

Didn't stop me from getting dates and meeting with tons of men. Met my DH online too when overweight (and still am).

It's fine, I dated at size 18-20 and while I lost weight. I got plenty of interest throughout. Usual range of good blokes and weirdos but no difference according to my weight. Took a while but met my partner when I was a size 14 and he swears blind he would have been equally as keen at the larger sizes looking at photos and doesnt care that I've lost more since.

Men like different shapes and sizes. Some like slim women. That's fine, they can swipe past. Some like a fuller figure. Some aren't bothered. Just make sure your pictures are representative and you include at least one full body shot.

It's tempting to go for slimming photos but don't, go for ones that are flattering in other ways- gorgeous smile, posture, hair etc.