Anybody else find CBT and Mindfulness unhelpful?

[Blackcats7]

I have chronic depression and anxiety and ocd plus newly diagnosed with high functioning autism.
I have tried cbt from two different psychologists and find it utterly unhelpful.
The constant scoring makes me feel under pressure to under estimate my numbers to improve so as to validate my therapist by being a “good” patient.
I also absolutely despair of the way mindfulness is seen as a supposed cure all and feel I will scream if one more person suggests this to me yet again as it has been zero use to me.
I am physically disabled and have chronic pain and the various suggestions for relaxation are things I can’t do due to either physical or sensory limitations.
Is it just me and everybody else finds these things wonderful?

I found mindfulness to be completely pointless and unhelpful. All that navel gazing leaves me cold.

I achieve calm by going for a run through local woodland, where there is no-one demanding anything of me, I can stretch my body's capabilities and I can get some peace.

I have a dsis who retreats to her greenhouse and tends her plants to achieve the same. I think we each have to find something that suits us.

No, not just you. My DD has treatment resistant depression and anxiety and hates CBT with a passion. It doesn't work for her, and like you, she feels like she's going to snap when people tell her it does work and that she just has to try it again. They treat her like a text book. And it's unfortunately now worked against us, because she says that all therapists are the same and she refuses to go.

Not sure where you're based but it might be worth considering a therapist who takes an integrated approach and includes elements of compassion focused strategies rather than exclusively CBT. Also a therapist who specialises in neurodivergences is a sensible move too. I say this as someone who accessed a wonderful therapist who does exactly those things and the difference was huge. CBT has its place but it's not for everyone and some people will do better with other approaches. That's ok.

CBT (for me) was like being taught to try to gaslight myself. Absolute nonsense.

I found CBT unhelpful for post natal depression and cPTSD but it was useful for social and health anxiety and in getting addictions under control.

Mindfulness I find so irritating and dull however when I get too in my head i try to refocus on right now right here, instead of absent mindedly make breakfast on autopilot i slow down my actions, breathe and move more intentionally than be reliving old stories in my head as I half arsed butter my toast. So I try to be mindful but not like how they word it in mindfulness exercises which feel too intense yet also boring.

For me, I realised no one therapist can connect with me on all areas of my problems so one might be great for addiction but not so great for childhood issues. I liked using self.help resources (books, workbooks, audiobooks, support groups, social media) better than a face to face therapist because I could chop and change as I liked without having to explain to a therapist however you do need to commit to your self help just like if a therapist appointment otherwise it's easy to lose motivation.

I think you also have to want to change and get better because nothing works if you don't commit to anything be it seriously taking your medicatiom, recovery or therapy. There is no magical cure, we have to help ourselves including trying many things and giving them time and practice before moving on to something else.

My referral for the CBT programme was rejected

I have chronic pain following an accident.

The gist of the reason I was given is that CBT helps you assess risk rationally rather than in an anxiety spiral.

However if the things you are anxious about actually happen on a regular basis (a lot of pain) then it isn't useful.

Yep! There was a lady I saw through a free work programme and she told me these difficult feelings will come up and go back down again through your life. (While trying to convince me not to talk or think about the issue at hand.) She was definitely gaslighting herself.

Yes. I hated CBT and mindfulness (in the way that mindfulness is meant to help with mental health problems).
In particular I found the CBT programme patronising.

Yes, gaslighting bollocks. It's just cheap.

I’ve read that CBT is less likely to be unhelpful for people with autism.

Another approach was recommended. It might be DBT ( I think there is a dbt therapy but can’t remember if that was the one recommended for people with asd).

It might be worth going on boards for people with autism and asking there for therapy approaches that are more likely to work for you.

If you are within the NHS Talking Therapies service in your area, you can ask to try counselling for depression (known as CfD). It's based on emotion processing, so is very different from CBT.

CBT was awful, made no positive difference and I used to feel much worse after a session. Mindfulness isn't for me either.

I dislike mindfulness. All that happens is that my mind starts to think about everything I'm worried about.

I had a CBT course online while I waited for talk therapy (that never came) and just found it a bit rubbish. I never practised the stuff because I couldn't remember what it was. Interesting another poster says it's not so great for those with autism, as I have.

I just need someone to talk to for my depression, that's all.

Ômg, so glad there's others out there. I started to think there was something wrong with me as it didn't work!

When DH had depression he tried private CBT and stopped after a few weeks as he said it was just navel gazing - what actually needed was the source of the stress removed (which happened, and 8 years down the line he has a very stable, happy life).

I needed medication for a year - when the. GP said my options were therapy, time off work or meds I knew I just wanted to take the meds and get on with life.

A slight aside but have you considered cold water immersion as therapy. Lots of anecdotal evidence coming out about its effectiveness for chronic pain and anxiety. I’ll caveat that I’m ND and have used it effectively for 4years now to help with joint pain and anxiety, CBT is known to not help Autistic thinking patterns. I have children who are also ND and we find movement in different ways more effective. Either yoga/run/walking/jigsaw puzzles, making bread, clay modelling, anything tactile helps. I hope you can find what helps

I didn't get on with CBT at all. I found myself trying to 'outwit it' and felt cynical about the tactics. Maybe my brain was being stubborn, but it didn't click.

I was fortunate enough to be able to afford private therapy with a practitioner who was pretty old school - just good old talking therapy, no tricks, just helping me express what needed to be expressed and finding my own way out and forward.

You're not alone. CBT is not the magic cure the NHS thinks it is.

Same here I was getting terrible anxiety attacks before and after sessions. In fact made me feel worse. I found it triggering memories from years ago which were horrible times. Wish I had never done it. Cancelled after 6 sessions.

I hated both. Dr has recently suggested mindfulness and focussing on my body. I have type 1 diabetes I am constantly thinking of my body I need to forget about it.

I have done CBT twice for health anxiety. The first time focused on how unlikely it was that I had cancer, putting it at a 1% chance. Halfway through the treatment I was diagnosed with cancer. Good job it didn't work as otherwise I wouldn't have gone back to the doctors (for the fourth time) and been diagnosed.

I tried it again recently and it was even worse. This time she got me to focus on my physical symptoms of anxiety and what thought I was having just before each one. As I was having symptoms every few minutes this was stupid as I was just going about my day, having different thoughts all the time. She got annoyed at me not being able to identify a thought that was causing the physical symptoms. She also told me to see the GP for every physical symptom I got. Which is NOT what you should tell someone with health anxiety.

I thought I would give it a second chance but will never ever touch it again. I felt so much worse both times.

My good friend was raving about how amazing it was. I don’t me to be patronising but she’s got a phd and a very important job was describing how she learned that everyone had their own struggles and can’t see your worries. All I thought was how the hell didn’t you know that already! Half the problem is people not realising what they’re saying is send me into an anxiety spiral and the demands I put on myself which are more than what everyone else is doing. I read up on it a bit and the gist seemed to be slap a smile on your face and get on with it, which is how I ended up not being able to get out of bed to face the world when it seemed to everyone else I had it together.

I’ve not done it but DD has. I agree with the PP who calls it gaslighting.
One of DDs issues was dealing with noise, their answer was to expose yourself to louder noises. There were many examples of that.

She was also offered general therapy but they wanted to go over and over the things that set off her anxiety in the first place. So counter productive.

CBT personally makes me feel worse before I see any improvement. Mindfulness is good, if you can get into that zone. But for me it is only good for the milder symptoms.

I tried CBT when I had pre-natal depression. I had thoughts of abandoning my baby… I don’t think I’ve ever felt so disheartened in all my life as I did after my session. I was asked to talk about how I was feeling. I bared my soul, only to be told what I already knew, that work was causing me immense stress. The counsellor gave me 2 options, leave work (great concept but no wider considerations on my life from doing so) and devising a worry box and putting my worries into the box and leaving them there. She then said that was all she could provide me with!

I have never felt so abused in all my life.

never, ever again!

I have a friend who works in the NHS supporting people and they think CBT is mostly useless for anything other than small issues.
Mindfulness is horrible, just means people dwell on their issues. Better off doing exercise IMO.