How did you feel turning 40?

[Cloud44]

I turn 40 in a couple of weeks and I’m starting to feel a bit wobbly about it! I’m not really a Birthday fan anymore so I don’t want a massive celebration but feel I should mark it somehow otherwise I ll regret it, but I just don’t feel adult enough to be 40! Feel I’m missing simple tricks to make most of things more rather than being on mumsnet on a Saturday afternoon for example! Does anyone else relate?!

You are right @5thCommandment , I think part of the problem is I’m not very planned! I used to be when I was younger, now I tend to drift more. I think since Covid I just haven’t planned because so much didn’t happen. I don’t know what goals to have?!

@SerenityNowInsanityLater thank you so very much for this! Turning 40 later this year and this is beautiful

I had just had a break up from someone I had thought I would marry. I decided to pay for close friends to come to a venue we had looked at and have drinks/dinner and stay over. We still had Covid restrictions so I was limited on numbers which was a shame as I decided to have a white dress and get a few fake wedding photo's as well! It sounds bonkers now but I realised that one of the "worries" I'd held and not recognised was turning 40 without being married. I've spent huge chunks of my life alone and am actually quite proud that I've raised DC by myself, but somehow it made me think I had been rejected. My 40th was about knocking that on it's head as much as turning 40. I only slightly regret not being able to invite more people due to the restrictions, as it would have been much more of a party. I've zero interest in men any more and feel that it enabled me to finally put that to bed.

Bring it on. Loving my 40's to be honest.

I can't remember my 40th birthday at all, but my forties have been great. Mind you, I was a late starter, so it was in my 40s I bought my first flat and finally passed my driving test. I got a PhD, raised dd as a single parent, worked ft throughout. I've taken some great trips, got into running (should manage 50 parkruns ahead of my 50th birthday). It's been a romance-free zone, which is faintly disappointing, but on the whole, I'll take it with gratitude.

I do not like birthday parties, but planning to spend my 50th with family, eating cream buns.

Turning 40 was OK. I went on a holiday that I'd always wanted to do and I also raised £1k for my favourite charity. My 40s themselves have so far been my worst decade. So much has gone wrong either personally or on a societal level. I'm in a worse position now than 10 years ago. But that's probably just the way it worked out for me and as others have said age is a privilege denied to many and the deaths of a few people I was at school with really illustrate that. So all you can do is go with it and see where it takes you.

I turned 40 almost three years ago, the rule of 6 was in place so my family and friends organised an itinerary of small get together's.
My close friends organised afternoon tea in the garden, then I returned home to see some family members, later some more family members came round for drinks ans Chinese. It was a lovely day as it was so relaxed and not too full on, but I felt very spoilt.

I had no issue with turning 40, it's just another number, plus with my husband being 15 years my senior, age doesn't really factor for us.

Hope you have a lovely day whatever you end up doing.

Goals across all areas:

• career progress is probsy the biggest because money does buy happiness (clothes, holidays, gifts, food etc) - I wanted to earn a certain salary and worked out how to get there, including a pay cut first to gain experience

Goals for 40s:

• career - get my next promotion, finish the projects I'm on successfully (need the bonuses)
• spend lots of time with the kids in the garden and reading
• get pension pot to 750k by 50.
• Florida holidays with kids but staying at themed hotels x2 and one foreign holiday a year (short breaks) to give kids experiences of cultures
• landscape the garden + "growplay" climbing frame
• 15mins strength exercise a day (I do this already)
• start playing badminton and squash again
• city breaks with the wife at least every two years
• learn to BBQ properly (fish, steak, veg etc not just burnt sausage)
• get the family bikes and actually use them as a group. Like at the forestry commission etc
• make an effort to spend more time with my parents whilst they're still around and plan it in
• help out with my kids Beavers group and teach healthy competitive thinking, self awareness and positive critical self analysis (not everyone is a winner, but you're competing with yourself and if you do better than you did before, that's progress to celebrate)

Mostly kids related really before GCSEs all kick off, 90% of the time you spend with them is before they move out so I'm very focused on that and giving them experiences

What do others think? I'd love to hear more ideas on plans for "the 40s" might need a new thread....

I was pretty sad about turning 20 and 30 🙃 my now DH took me to Paris for my 30th and we spent the day going to museums, eating good food and drinking wine. It was fantastic and I was pretty happy in my 30s and grew up a lot.

I did all the grown up things in my 30s, we got married, had our children, bought our forever home, I went to uni to get my degree and started on my career path. People (family) showed their true colours during that decade and I went NC, so there was some real sadness.

I was pretty OK about turning 40, although not quite qualified in my field at that point and the house still needed a lot of work. My DH arranged childcare and took me for a lovely meal.

Now fast heading to 50 and my 40s have been pretty good to me so far, this is the decade where I am trying to improve myself, learning a new language and to make some serious money to pay off our debt and our house. I will finish my book I am writing. Also trying to take care of my health and my body, so I go into my 50s in good health. Health is wealth.

My eldest only sibling died at 45, so I am philosophical about aging, and try to feel grateful for everyday. Getting older is a privilege denied to many.

The whole point of my post is these big birthdays are where we sometimes take stock of where we are and where we want to get to, and who we want to be. So I try to see it as a gift. Happy birthday OP when it comes, hope this is your best decade so far, you haven't yet lived some of your best days 💐

I’ve loved being in my 40s, I feel free. I’m dreading my 50s, only because I’ve enjoyed my 40s so much!

A bit odd. I could remember being a teenager and people turning 40 and thinking they were old. So I couldn't believe I was turning 40 but still felt (in my head) that I was a teenager. I'm in my 50s now, but in my head I'm still 18.

Not too bothered. I do remember hitting 28 though, and being appalled when it suddenly dawned that it was only 12 years until I hit 40! 😂

I was really excited about turning 40. . More than I admit to in real life.

I stayed overnight in a hotel with my husband.

This.. every year I'm grateful for. I'm here breathing and drinking coffee and talking to my kids while others are bone dust in a jar or under the ground.
Wtf would I care about some wrinkles!
We've really been done over. Sold that we should care so much about aging and looks.. wasting so much precious time caring about it. None of it matters

I love this, so positive. I love the confidence I'm getting each day, and the inner peace.
I wouldn't swap it for youth.
Society/men judges women so much for the outside when it's so amazing how kickass and wise women become as they age.
But no your value is all about how attractive you are for breeding
Thankfully us women see it and really look after each other as we get older

How are you still 18 in your head? With all the immaturity and insecurity, being naive etc

My grandma used to say this into her 90s (hers was 19) and I always used to think – you can’t possibly have been the same at 19! But I guess you don’t lose the 18 year old – you just add extra dimensions and layers. I guessed she just still felt very connected to who she was as a young woman, and not very much like who that young woman expected herself to feel like as an old lady!

I felt weird about turning 40. I felt like I had to have a party or something. Weird sort of social pressure! In the end I went out for a meal with my family and decided I would do something crazy to celebrate in the summer (extreme sport type thing). Covid ruined that and then I had a surprise pregnancy at 41 so I still haven't done it 😂

Actually, now I have adjusted to being in my 40s I love it. I've reached a joyous age where I don't give a shit what other people think. Don't care about my body being a bit wobbly. Recently took up taekwondo 😂😂😂

@ApplesAndPearsTheFruits Ahh that makes more sense, that she's still in there a little bit along with every year of development along the way.

I turned 40 4 days for Xmas and the day after one of my children turned 4. I just felt kind of invisible tbh and I wasn't that interested. I felt glad to be alive and healthy but didn't plan a party or any sort of special event.

That was 2 years ago. I regret it a bit now! Thinking of planning a belated event maybe.

It didn't bother me. I don't make much of a fuss of my birthdays anyway.

Surprisingly, 41 was worse. Not sure why.

I turned 40 in April 2020 so the actual celebration side of it was shit, was due yo be going to south east Asia to celebrate! But the actual turning 40 didn't bother me. I actually think I'm the best version of myself now I'm in my 40s, I'm enjoying life, I'm successful, happy and healthy and my dc are thriving

I was fine about turning 40's. I pretty much had my life where I felt it should be.

Turning 30 I was not so happy about. I wasn't married, still renting with no children and my career wasn't where I thought it should be.

It's strange how some of us peg our happiness on a set of arbitrary milestones.

Oh Do it, dont live with regret. Celebrate. We are a short time here a long time dead 💋

Maybe felt like only a minute since you turned 40 and made you realise the decade will pass quickish?