How did you feel turning 40?

[Cloud44]

I turn 40 in a couple of weeks and I’m starting to feel a bit wobbly about it! I’m not really a Birthday fan anymore so I don’t want a massive celebration but feel I should mark it somehow otherwise I ll regret it, but I just don’t feel adult enough to be 40! Feel I’m missing simple tricks to make most of things more rather than being on mumsnet on a Saturday afternoon for example! Does anyone else relate?!

I gave birth 😁 It was quite a memorable birthday.

30 & 40 were fine as I was where I wanted to be. Now 46 & feel a bit lost (although things are actually fine), not sure how I'll feel about turning 50.
Have you thought about what you want out of life & how you can get it?

I was too busy running my business to notice really. I think we might have gone for a pizza or similar. It was over 20 years ago so I don't remember much about it. Still busy running the business, I don't think we did much for 50 or 60 either except for me giving myself a pay rise 😊

I had all my getting old wobbles in my mid twenties when I felt I was becoming a proper grown up.

By 40 I was really happy with myself and felt like it was the best time of my life so felt it was a celebration.

I’m turning 40 soon and am really not ok with it. Totally agree with you that it sounds grown up, my kids are all teenagers and I ‘should’ feel more like an adult than I do, I recently ended my latest relationship after leaving my unhappy relationship 5 years ago, and don’t have a huge group of friends to celebrate with- it just feels a bit… sad? I have a huge number of things to be very grateful for, and keep reminding myself of that, but I am scared of going into middle age and becoming invisible, and I’m scared of my parents aging and potentially losing them with no significant other for support, and I feel like that’s looming in my 40s.

we need to plan nice things for ourselves, and count our blessings, I think.

I did feel a bit like that, now I’m 47 and think I was being silly and 40 is young! My childhood friend and I went to New York to mark our 40’s. Won’t be long before we start planning a 50th trip!

Age is a privilege denied to many.

That birthday gift to yourself must have seriously overshadowed all other presents. 😄

I’m pushing 40. I feel weird about it. I feel like I’ll no longer be young, which is ridiculous on many many different levels, I know. My life isn’t where I’d like it to be. For reasons I won’t go into now, the capacity to change that is limited. I feel something of a failure. I also think I’ve aged a lot recently.

Despite the above, I am trying to make this year a good one.

And I swear there have been loads of posts on Mumsnet recently where posters are about to turn 40. Or maybe it’s like being pregnant and noticing pregnant women everywhere.

OP, why don’t you take the stress off the day itself and plan nice things to do this year. That could be a holiday, going to a concert or exhibition, doing something you’ve always wanted to do. Or it could be getting your colours done, going for afternoon tea at Claridges, driving a fast car on an experience day, going on a spa break, getting new clothes etc.

At 30 I wasn't dating, didn't have a family or a house or any of the things on my wishlist of goals. By 40 I'd found an amazing man, bought a house and had two kids... and I spent the day of my actual birthday at Disney. I was pretty happy to be honest.

Hope your fortieth is everything you hope it to be OP.

A bit down to be honest. I don’t have a partner or any friends to do any of the holidays/spa breaks/bottomless brunches/surprise parties I was seeing as my old school friends were turning 40. I don’t like birthdays or being the centre of attention but I felt like my life was going nowhere.

I couldn’t face the visits from family on the day so I took advantage of the teacher’s strike to take my son away for the night to his favourite place. I didn’t have to think about my birthday at all, and we had a really lovely trip.

I was 40 last year, hated it! Felt awful about if for ages. I feel ok now though unless I have to tell someone my age. I know it’s irrational and ridiculous!

Probably not the most helpful answer; but the way that I dealt with this and all 'milestone birthdays' was to ignore them; keep them confidential from others; and try to forget them myself. Focus on exact age to this degree is a fairly recent cultural tradition; adults making a fuss of other adults' age milestones is even more recent. I think that one is 'as old as one feels', and there's no need to make an occasion of my age and to rub it in unnecessarily.

Of course, I realize that my way doesn't suit everyone, so happy birthday to all who are intending to celebrate!

lol I somehow felt ‘safe’ in my 30s. Being 39 was still ‘in my 30s’. I wouldn’t lie about my age on principle, but I’ve also never felt any inclination to before!

I booked a private dining room for about 20. I paid for pre-dinner bubbles but friends paid for their own meal. I didn't want a party but I def wanted to do something special.

It was a lovely evening - we had drinks on the terrace first before dinner as it was a surprisingly warm spring evening.

I've never been bothered about getting older.
I was in much better place at 40 than 30.
30 - single, childless, renting, job I hated
40 - married, 2 kids, own home, job I like

I'm turning 40 in the summer. I'm trying not to think about it really but I do hope dh is thinking about it and has a plan lol. I said years ago that I either wanted to go vegas or santorini for my 40th so I hope he's remembered 😂

I think this is such a big part of it – milestone birthdays prompt us to take stock. I think we’re much more likely to feel angsty if there are things we’d like to be in place that aren’t yet or other worries.

Booked a child free 3 night romantic getaway. Last one was 10 years before for honeymoon.
40s are good. My decade, last one at primary, by 50 he'll be 15 and the others grown.
My main goal in the 40s is to reduce the mortgage down somehow. Problem is my tastes get more expensive each decade!

Just another birthday. In my mind I'm still 28 😆 I see birthdays a bit like best before or use by dates. Things don't suddenly change at midnight - bread won't turn mouldy and I won't suddenly feel old or more sophisticated!

Not as relieved as I feel about turning 70 ...

Oh how i wish i could go back and worry about turning 40 again.
I would celebrate it to within an inch of being 41. I would have a year long birthday celebration.
Dont look back with regret, look forward and enjoy this wonderful year of your life for you will only have this opportunity once. There is a quote in the film (This is 40) My dear blink and you are 90!
<3

Was a little wobbly about turning 40. Turned out my 40's were some of the best times of my life! But turning 50, OMG! I'm 52 now, my kids have left home, I have terrible anxiety, put on loads of weight, perimenopause, I just feel so lost. I feel I'm now in the "old" bracket, but my brain is somewhere around late 30's, and I feel time is running out so fast. Enjoy turning 40, honestly, it is still young. I would love to be 40 again!

I had major wobbles before I turned U turned 30. No idea why 🤷‍♀️ However I turned 40 last year, in November, and I felt fine about it. I don't like big parties either, so we went to Manchester for the weekend and had a meal at the Hard Rock cafe and then went to a gig 👍

I had a big party joint with my best friends to celebrate our 40th birthdays. I loved it and was happy to be turning 40, possibly because my youngest DC had just started primary school so it was a turning point for me in terms of having a bit more time for myself, focus on my career etc.

I'll be 50 soon and trying to embrace that too!

This. I'm 40 next month and see it as a milestone. On top of not putting up with bs and knowing myself I'm so proud of what I've achieved in my life so far, and the 40s bring so much fun with the kids. I'm settled, stable, healthy and able to still enjoy physical activity. Super excited.
I have a lifetime plan for how i envisage each decade, the 50s bring early retirement and travelling and again, super excited. The mistake people make is not planning ahead and just drifting.