Has anyone ever given you really terrible advice?

[NellysCheekPlaster]

I'm loving the other thread about excellent life-changing advice.

But I'm wondering about the flip side - the terrible advice we've all received.

Here's mine:
"Always be in a relationship with someone who loves you more than you love them".
I took the advice - what a shitshow. He was insecure, he was needy, he basically stalked me for the whole three years of our relationship and then for a year afterwards too.

Also:
"Just get it [tiny tattoo of a horny devil on my tragus]. It'll look great on you"
It did. In 2001.

Yeah my mum. All the time. It's like she's stuck in a 1950s time warp.

HV when we were discussing that my DS didn't sleep. She suggested I should just stick him in front of the TV!

I was coerced into having an abortion at the age of 18 by my parents, who believed that becoming a mother at such a young age would derail my future.

OP sorry yours made me laugh

I'm same as @PutMyFootIn most things that come out my mother’s mouth

As above, anything that comes from my mum. It's taken a while to learn this too. Unfortunately, I'm certain it is sometimes intended that way too

An older female colleague when I was 22. I arrived at work upset after my then boyfriend had pushed me over during an argument (we weren't physically fighting, he just pushed me in anger as we were disagreeing about something).

" Oooh some blokes are just like that aren't they? He seems lovely though, I can tell he thinks the world of you"

What I really needed to hear was " what a fucking twat that's assault I hope you've dumped him already"

Yes I was an adult, and no it wasn't my colleague's fault I stayed another year. But I wasn't in contact with my mum at the time (she was in rehab), my Dad's a bit of a twat, and I could really have done with someone to point out that THIS WAS NOT OK.

Sorry that happened to you @SunshineArmy and @Serenity45

Yeah, mums are a whole other level of terrible advice 😅

A lady once told me that it was good to let your baby cry as it was allowing them to exercise their lungs. I must say, normally she is full of great wisdom, I just disagree with this one, after reading up about secure attachment.

"If a boy is mean to you that means he likes you" and all the rest that goes with low expectations of men given a pass for being cavemen.

Yuck 🤮

Older (and I thought wiser) mate at uni..."Don't worry about debt, young you is just borrowing off old you. Old you will earn loads and pay it all off see?". Neither of us understood interest clearly.

"Better a bad husband than no husband at all." I knew some people thought like that but I didn't know anyone would say it out loud!

10+ years ago with 4 DC I posted on MN about returning to work and having a choice between two roles, one a straight forward, PT role and the second a real stretch that would bring multiple challenges.

pretty much everyone said take the easier role. I didn’t and the stretch role gave me more opportunities and transformed my life more than I could imagine. I still recall a handful of posters who were vociferously critical of even the possibility of my taking the trickier role and it does occasionally make me smile when I notice them on threads doing the same negative Nelly routine.

I’m so glad I didn’t follow the advice.

Most of the parenting advice I've ever received has ranged from bad to awful, mostly unsolicited and never taken. Two stand outs were advice on getting dd to sleep through (leave her to cry no matter how long it takes, if she gets hysterical she's just being manipulative) and how it was tantamount to child abuse that I didn't send her to nursery.

So much bad advice.
"Just have a 'little fix'' about a prolapse an obstetric physio never bothered to look at and about 4 years before the mesh scandal hit mainstream news.

Thankfully I did not and it was so much better by 2 years postpartum.

An older colleague- my advice is go for a man with money, it doesn’t matter if you dont love him/fancy him

my dad who worked in factories his whole life - just get any job, it doesn’t matter if you dont like it as long as it pays the bills

my mum said to me after id had a baby - dont bother going back to work (i had a good career forming), just go onto benefits

My mum worked in a factory her whole life and is always at the ready with career advice for me (on the rare occasions she shows any interest in my job).
Sadly her "Just walk out", "Just down tools", "March in there and give her a piece of your mind", "Clock on at 9am and off at 5pm exactly, not a minute before, not a minute after" recommendations don't quite translate to my higher managerial role in the corporate sector.

My granny advised me to be a receptionist as it was a nice job for a girl and not too demanding. Ended up being a corporate lawyer - remember working long into the night well after all the receptionists had gone home and wondered if maybe she had been right all along!

I had concerns about my just turned 2yo’s development (which turned out to be very well founded as he has multiple SEN and is unlikely to live independently.

PIL really put me off going to see a professional about it, as they said that DH was exactly the same at that age (really? Not meeting any milestones?) and he turned out fine.

I always tell people in the same position as I was to follow up their concerns and get their child in the system, as it moves so incredibly slowly, and if your co ferns prove to be unfounded, you can always withdraw from any process.

Not to me, but said to my mum when she left my dad (who was an emotionally abusive & violent alcoholic) by her own sister:
"A bad husband is better than no husband at all"
Er... nope.

Just get it [tiny tattoo of a horny devil on my tragus]. It'll look great on you

Is it just a blue shapeless thing now?

Have two children not just one so they can play together and give you a break.

They never did. 😐

“Don’t tell anyone you work part time because they will think less of you!” from a friend who had gone back to work before me after mat leave.

I nearly had a nervous breakdown “pretending” to my colleagues and clients that I worked full time (lots of making up reasons why I couldn’t attend this or that meeting!) 😵‍💫

Lasted about 2 months before I gave up on the charade and work life got a lot better!

Oh plenty!

• nevermind it's your parents, no one will ever love you as much as they do (advice to forgive abuse)

• take the high road, just ignore (a better advice is to practise assertiveness and learn to speak up, which can be done in a classy and safe way)

• advice to drink alcohol when faced with life stress

• Gina fucking Ford advice of letting child cry out or Nanny's naughty step.

• most of diet advice

In the 1990s my mother talked me out of buying a flat in London. For £30k.
DM is replete with terrible advice but it's easier to just take it and ruin your life than ignore it and have to deal with the fallout

Not quite shapeless. More like a blue fat bloke.