Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

If you were a man, would you find you attractive?

119 replies

Bigearringsbigsmile · 14/02/2024 18:38

I'm just getting ready for my valentine's date tonight and looking at myself and thinking " Gordon Bennett, it's a good job he loves you"
I wouldn't fancy me I don't think. Even with all the effort I've made tonight.

What about you?

OP posts:
NervousButExcited · 14/02/2024 22:21

Nope and I don't suppose any real men (or women) do either!

Floralsofa · 14/02/2024 22:22

Yes but not my social awkwardness.

BouleDeSuif · 14/02/2024 22:30

Yes, but then I have a thing for chubby dark haired women anyway.

TwistedCable · 14/02/2024 22:32

Fuck, yes!

DatingDinosaur · 14/02/2024 22:52

Looks-wise I'd have fancied me when I was younger but now I'm a wizened menopausal old crone, not so much Grin

Personality-wise I'd have been attracted to my independent spirit initially but it would do my head in after a while. Menopausal me is worse now Nothing's changed which is probably why I'm single Grin

LauderSyme · 14/02/2024 22:56

C1N1C · 14/02/2024 22:03

This seems to highlight an interesting gender difference.

If a guy asks a guy what he looks like, you'll never get a lie. It will be right between the eyes, savage truth.

If a woman asks a woman what they look like, you'll (rarely, if ever) get the truth. It will always be a sugar-coated lie.

It's funny how women 'appear' to be complimented literally on a daily basis, but it seems none actually believe it based on the responses above. OK, I know the question is whether 'you' would find yourself attractive, but really, it's a question of 'do you feel attractive yourself'.

Sorry. I'm dragging this into discussion rather than 'fun game' :)

Great post 🙂

Although, I did read and reply to the question as asked rather than the way you interpreted it.

I am tinged with ginger and although I adore all hues of redhead, it's my favourite hair colour, I have never fancied a red-haired man. That's why I don't think I'd find me attractive.

I've got lovely shapely legs though, I'd definitely fancy them!

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 14/02/2024 22:59

I have never been attractive to men until they have got to know me, whereupon they seem to find me fascinating. So I would probably feel the same way about myself; not pretty but with a certain 'twinkle' and self confidence that would grow on me. Mind you, I'd probably end up dumping me for being too confident and too restless to be in a relationship with me anyway. I'm not good relationship material, and I hope I would see that.

gannett · 14/02/2024 22:59

I would think I was attractive enough to shag but would probably find my crabby and often hostile personality offputting. As for my domestic shortcomings...

Cwtshcwtsh · 14/02/2024 23:00

TeabySea · 14/02/2024 18:47

Like the PP, I'm not my type. Far too normal on the surface and far too weird deep down.

This describes me far better than I would have done myself 🤣 👏

AndThatWasNY · 14/02/2024 23:00

TomRaider · 14/02/2024 18:54

I used to run a shop and one old regular who used to come in for chat had been married upteen times with umpteen kids in different stables one said, reflecting on his life.

"I don't know why women like blokes, they're........ ! (4 letter word begging with S) ..... But I'm very glad they do"

.... and I can't really disagree with that.

You know you can swear like fuckery on here. It makes it much easier to read!

Moonfishstar · 14/02/2024 23:00

Hereforthebunfights · 14/02/2024 18:59

This is a massively heteronormative question.

Not if you're a gay man!

ThesmellofLulushairdo · 14/02/2024 23:01

I'll be honest, I do actually rate myself. I'm a 40 something mother of three, but I'm in good shape and I still look in the mirror and think yeah, I would.

So far my husband seems to agree.

TedMullins · 14/02/2024 23:02

Hereforthebunfights · 14/02/2024 18:59

This is a massively heteronormative question.

This. But the answer is yes, I’m bi and find women with a similar style and vibe to me attractive

LightDrizzle · 14/02/2024 23:04

No! I reckon my type would be Ellie Taylor (Ted Lasso), willowy brunettes. I’m a short fair blonde with big tits. I’m not built for wafting about looking effortlessly elegant.

theduchessofspork · 14/02/2024 23:05

Hereforthebunfights · 14/02/2024 18:59

This is a massively heteronormative question.

And..?

Anyway yes, I would, I have swagger.

PeggySooo · 14/02/2024 23:05

No, but idgaf.

OceanicBoundlessness · 14/02/2024 23:05

Hereforthebunfights · 14/02/2024 18:59

This is a massively heteronormative question.

Do men find the same things attractive in women that women would find attractive in another woman?

AllTheChaos · 14/02/2024 23:07

On the basis that it was extremely rare for men to find me attractive when I was better looking and had more of a life than now, it seems doubtful. But I have terrible taste in men 😁 I’m lovely and all, but I’m not physically attractive.

Disneydatknee88 · 14/02/2024 23:09

I've got a cracking pair of tits, yeh I'd fancy me. I also have pretty low standards so I'd overlook all the other parts my kids destroyed lol.

AllTheChaos · 14/02/2024 23:09

OceanicBoundlessness · 14/02/2024 23:05

Do men find the same things attractive in women that women would find attractive in another woman?

Edited
Show quote history

This is something my (straight) friends and I used to discuss occasionally when (much) younger. There definitely seemed to be quite a few differences. Whereas it was easier with queer friends to guess what they’d find attractive, and therefore to be able to successfully set them up!

crackofdoom · 14/02/2024 23:11

Probably not. I really go for skinny, and I'm not skinny myself. Such a hypocrite...

JustFrustrated · 14/02/2024 23:20

Yep. Well not when I've not washed my hair in two days and it's getting on. But generally I'm attractive physically, I'm funny and I'm quick. So good company too.

I am my type when it comes to women.

Yet I wouldn't find my aesthetic in a man attractive. But I am very attracted to males with my personality type too.

I.e men are generally dark haired, whereas I find blonde women attractive.

OceanicBoundlessness · 14/02/2024 23:20

AllTheChaos · 14/02/2024 23:09

This is something my (straight) friends and I used to discuss occasionally when (much) younger. There definitely seemed to be quite a few differences. Whereas it was easier with queer friends to guess what they’d find attractive, and therefore to be able to successfully set them up!

Show quote history

I would have thought there would be differences in what women attracted to women would find attractive and what a man would...

Then obviously yet more difference in what a straight woman finds objectively attractive in another woman.

SisterAgatha · 14/02/2024 23:21

I’d think I was out of my league. Then I’d get to know me and realise I was.

OceanicBoundlessness · 14/02/2024 23:23

I guess yes, I think I'm attractive. Perhaps more than I did when I was younger, but then when I look back at young me, I didn't appreciate what I had so I'm trying to now.
But I'm not interested in attracting men and I don't really want to be attractive to them.