How much do you need to earn for 3 kids?

[Diskneedisney]

Exactly that. DH and I are having some back and forth on the topic

i know MN can be a bit skewed with v large incomes but realistically in a 2 parent household (not in london) how much is the minimum gross salary that you think is necessary to live a good life, which includes a holiday abroad and maybe a uk holiday a year.

let’s assume no debts, no cars on anything on finance and a mortgage of £1500 a month. Childcare costs with government funding would be reduced. Let’s assume only one child in nursery. Then big standard average bills on everything else.

dh for instance thinks you’d need a combined income of around 130/150k a year to even contemplate 3. I think that’s a bit silly.

what do we think Mn- appreciate we are painting with a broad brush here

I agree with him. You have to think of the teenage years, and support required.

I read something on this a few days ago

It said for a family of 4 to live comfortably a yearly income of 55k would be needed.

Unfortunately many of us mere very working class mortals don't come close to that figure;no wonder the demand for food banks is huge

Say the holidays, one abroad one UK each year including spending money £10k net.
£1500 mortgage a month £18k net
Allow £1k a month supermarket £12k net

This is £40k net without clothes, presents, car costs, activities, music, school trips, subscriptions, mobiles, WiFi, books, shoes,childcare costs, savings to help the with uni/apprenticeship/driving lessons, pets, council tax, gas/electric, water, haircuts,

Realistically the more children you have, the more of yourself financially, time-wise etc you have to split. Holidays with 3 just tend to be harder as so much is set up for a family of 4 so if you’re looking at two rooms instead of one, it’ll add up. childcare probably tips the balance of working being worth it or not as well. Eg holiday club for one could be £40 a day- for three at £120 that becomes a much more expensive prospect let alone the thought of double/triple nursery fees. My friends with 3 have all spent some time as a sahm.

I agree with your DH. To have the quality of life you describe, you’re going to need a significant income. Especially as the dc get older.

We do well woth 3 on less than that, more like £110, but I don't work so we have no childcare costs, similar mortgage, so I'd say he's not far wrong. SE, cheaper area, not overly fancy tastes and I'm here to cook properly, plus WFH means no commuting costs. If I worked I'd want to outsource household stuff like a cleaner and gardener.

We have a gross income of around £130k and we’re stopping at 2, partly due to the cost of everything. To be fair we have 2 in nursery and you can imagine the cost. We have a mortgage of £1750 per month.

Other things to consider are day trips, fixing cars, saving for uni, birthdays and Christmas, house maintenance etc

depends where you live, where you want to buy clothes, what sort of holidays you want, how often you want to eat out etc.

until recently we were earning about £110k with three kids in London with three holidays a year (two uk, one abroad, usually in nice Air BnBs as hotels were too much for five). we have a spare room we used for an au pair for years which was brilliant for them and us and meant childcare was low. we ate out about twice a month. But we have a crappy car and buy cheap clothes. At weekends we tended to do free museums/walks/hang out with friends. Outside of London I reckon we could have done it on much less.

At least 120k, the childcare will be the killer

I agree with your DH, we have three and both work FT. Holidays are a killer with three as you either need Villa or two hotel rooms. We can barely eat out as a family without spending £100.

You have to think about when they are teens too, three little ones isn’t too expensive (nursery fees aside) but three teens = school trips, phone bills, activities and these all get more expensive. My year 10 child who is at a state school had school trips exceeding £2k last year and that’s not anything flash like a big ski trip etc, a geography trip to Italy and some days out locally/London.

I was staggered to get the Gold D of E info home and that alone is £2k via the school - which obvs is what they want to do as it is with their pals!

Our income has risen during this time but it’s swallowed up very quickly and we haven’t been able to overpay mortgage as much as I’d like.

Also it’s very different today re housing costs & childcare costs vs a decade ago

I have 2, would have liked a 3rd but it never happened.

But now the girls are older and we now have the additional uni costs, buying cars , driving lessons and insurance - it at times feels as expensive as nursery years!

Im also not sure when they will be able to move out! Housing costs are so expensive now as well.

Well you need to have a four bedroom house with room to grow when the kids are teenagers, and if you're not able to help them all with house deposits then they'll probably be there as young adults too with their boyfriend/girlfriend. So start there. Probably 200k to be comfortable? But that's assuming a huge chunk of that isn't going on a mortgage.

Well you need to have a four bedroom house with room to grow when the kids are teenagers, and if you're not able to help them all with house deposits then they'll probably be there as young adults too with their boyfriend/girlfriend. So start there. Probably 200k to be comfortable? But that's assuming a huge chunk of that isn't going on a mortgage.

I'd say about 75k.

and if you're not able to help them all with house deposits

Do parents have to pay for uni, driving, deposits? I bet very few can give all that.

@DoThePropeller 2k for gold D of E?! Is that at a private school? It's 295 here.

It depends, a holiday abroad each year can be £8-10k in a luxury hotel or £2-3k in a French gite with your own pool.
Our best uk holidays have been camping with close friends and their DC.

A job in the civil service or a local authority that offers term time working or annualised hours means no/reduced costs during school holidays.

Family (retired) living nearby may take on some childcare.

I agree that it’s often easier if one parent can be a sahp for a while if the alternative is 3 sets of nursery fees but generally would mean the other partner needs a take home income that would cover all the usual costs of running the home.

But I’m biased as we have 3 children, youngest at uni.

We have 3 at home, mortgage is £1k.
Holiday abroad once or twice a year (around £3-5k a pop but do it cheaply) and UK holiday usually camping /caravan twice a year. We go out a lot to the pub/clubbing/sports events but do it cheaply.
All teens.
We earn around £75k as a household.
We don't spend lots on clothes (mainly chazza shops or vinted), or stuff, have no savings, kids know if they want expensive trainers or clothes they need to buy themselves from wages.
University is going to hit hard as potentially they will all be there at the same time.

My figure was based on 2 earners as that’s more favourably tax wise & employer pension wise so for one parent it would need to be more.

was staggered to get the Gold D of E info home and that alone is £2k via the school - which obvs is what they want to do as it is with their pals!

I think your school is expensive, they must be outsourcing everything at that price. DD's college is doing gold DoE for £450 and she did her bronze through scouts for £85.

Anyway to answer OP post we have a join income of around £70,000, live in the south (not London) and are very comfortable with 2 kids our mortgage is around £1300, but I had some time at home so we avoided nursery costs. Also the age gate between our 2 means we will only have one at university at a time. We are what I'd consider low spenders though as we don't go on holidays abroad and we don't buy new cars or expensive cloths either. I think we could aford 3, if the age gap was the same as our current 2.

Your husband is right

we have 3 and the teenage years are v expensive we also pay another £1k plus for holidays abroad as you have to get two rooms

unless you are happy with a caravan park / basic clothing - we are not

It's all the things you don't think of. My three are young teens now and all the showers mean our water dd has had to go up. When they were younger they could share a bath or go one after the other. Not possible now obviously.

If you live in London, £150k sounds about right.

Outside London, £100k would probably be ok, though a bit tight given mortgage of £1,500 per month, which is post tax.

Teenagers also eat more than a regular adult, it’s not greed either it’s growing. Plus what hobby they get into and then if it’s something competitive will they need to travel to competitions.

I also think there is a bit of what can you do yourself DIY wise and how practical you are.

DH and I fitted our kitchen a decade ago, we can both do basic plumbing, he can do electrics though you are not supposed to these days anymore. I have made curtains and can reupholster furniture and do dressmaking, I had a go at restoring some furniture last year very successfully. Built a huge patio in lockdown. Over the years it’s saved thousands.