How much do you need to earn for 3 kids?

[Diskneedisney]

Exactly that. DH and I are having some back and forth on the topic

i know MN can be a bit skewed with v large incomes but realistically in a 2 parent household (not in london) how much is the minimum gross salary that you think is necessary to live a good life, which includes a holiday abroad and maybe a uk holiday a year.

let’s assume no debts, no cars on anything on finance and a mortgage of £1500 a month. Childcare costs with government funding would be reduced. Let’s assume only one child in nursery. Then big standard average bills on everything else.

dh for instance thinks you’d need a combined income of around 130/150k a year to even contemplate 3. I think that’s a bit silly.

what do we think Mn- appreciate we are painting with a broad brush here

@DoThePropeller Similar situation here - state school outsourced DofE training exped and exped to an outward bound company as they were having difficulty getting teachers to run weekend training. Each child now has to pay £395 a year to do DofE through the school. Plus equipment, plus residential costs.
We don't have a local youth group. There is a scout group that does it 15 miles away if your child will join scouts and can get there at 7.30 every Thursday.

You said that your husband is quite lazy. I wonder if this is really the issue? Whatever else having three children is (I only have two), it must be a lot of work if you also have a full-time job. Is it really that he doesn't want the extra sleepless nights, game-playing, laundry-doing, cleaning, attention-giving etc?

i.e. even if you suddenly earned a lot more, would he still be reluctant?

Family income here a fraction of your DHs idea if ideal for three DC, and I have four. We live comfortably. Nowhere near London.

I agree with your DH too.

Friends of mine earn together about £180k. They have three kids in London. They were able to have a live in nanny until all the kids started (state) school (and at that time earned considerably less), then only afternoons for another couple (so 8 years in total). Two cars. Holiday abroad most years. I think they budgeted well but they never seemed to want for anything. Two kids still at home and I think after the pandemic their income is closer to £120k, but they might have paid off most their mortgage by now.

MN is mental as said by PPs, £200k would be stretch for 3 kids , seriously get a grip. Are people really in a bubble and not wonder how the mere mortals without 6 figure incomes live?

The things that really increase with 3 are holidays cars and house size.

Almost no women work full time with 3 as coving childcare for 3 is above average earnings.

So there's that loss of income too.

With holidays you go from being able to fit in one family hotel room to needing a 2 bedroom apartment.

You don't 'fit' into standard holiday packages.

With cars, most won't take 3 car seats in the back. Depending on ages you may need a people carrier.

If you want a bedroom for each you need a bigger house. 4 beds are a lot more expensive and rarer than 3 beds.

If you do plan for 2 to share it can be difficult with a big age gap.

The one way to cut costs is to have very big age gaps so you only have one pres schooler at a time. This cuts childcare and the car issue.

For holidays you stop taking the teen when they get to the bored age!

We have 4 DCand pull in £90k gross between us, we live comfortably with several U.K. holidays a year/a foreign holiday per year. DC have a lot of extra curricular, no grandparent childcare. We do plenty of days out etc. no debts, cheap cars but nice house (600k).

DC are primary aged but as they get older, our earnings are also increasing rapidly, so we're confident we can match pace.

I'm not sure how much you earn matters exactly, but each child should have its own room. If you can't afford that, then I'd say you're very selfish (and stupid) ... and it's probably indicative that you can't afford other things either. Better to stick to a number you can comfort afford

One thing I've learned from MN is that when it comes to lifestyle there are huge differences in what people consider 'essential'. My DS starts private school this year and if I was to take the MN view, we'd need to be earning a min £300k between us to make that possible. But the people who make those comments forget that's because they have a mortgage of £3k, 2 SUVs to finance and annual ski and Disney trips to fund. And think it's essential to buy their DC cars and fund house deposits.

We earn half that and will still be able to afford it because we live below our means. One basic car, simple holidays, rarely eat out etc. We're happy and comfortable.

We live very comfortably with 1 child on 110k, I wouldn’t want to have 3 on this income. I’d say your DH is about right tbh!

We have 4 DCand pull in £90k gross between us, we live comfortably with several U.K. holidays a year/a foreign holiday per year. DC have a lot of extra curricular, no grandparent childcare. We do plenty of days out etc. no debts, cheap cars but nice house (600k).

But when did you buy a 600k house on 90k with 4 dc?

The answer is how much you earn and how do you spend it, how much according to a stranger who does not live your life is a bit like a string of elastic.

I'm glad someone said it, reading this thread was starting to make me feel very poor 😂 also who the hell spends 10k on one holiday???

100%

@Nofilteritwonthelp
I'm not sure how much you earn matters exactly, but each child should have its own room. If you can't afford that, then I'd say you're very selfish (and stupid) ... and it's probably indicative that you can't afford other things either.
what a truly horrible thing to say,
millions of kids share rooms.

Well, it really depends on your lifestyle and where you live. But I'd say a rough estimate would be around £100k, assuming your mortgage is your main debt and childcare costs are manageable. This should leave you some room for fun stuff like holidays. But everyone's situation is different and you never know when life might throw you a curveball. My brother struggles with mental health issues and my parents often have to support him financially (tens of thousands). So it's always good to have some wiggle room in your budget for the unexpected!

@Diskneedisney that's our total requirements for the month. But we don't need childcare or pay a mortgage or rent. So our outgoings are probably less than most with older children.

Probably more than any salary in the UK will offer you.

My tenants are a family of 5 and are on about £40k, though that may just be on paper for tax purposes. I reckon the husband makes more than that.

So car and house are already sorted. We have an appropriate car (owned outright) and a 4 bed house (admittedly a small one and we’d need to think about where to put the wfh office) but we wouldn’t immediately need to upgrade either.

holidays are another thing, but due to not wanting to take car seats abroad we’ve done a fair amount of self drive holidays and quite like that. although do like an AI but tbh as kids grow up, most of the 2 queen bed situation isn’t appropriate anymore.

theres 2 and a bit years between 1 and 2 and thered be at least 3 between 2 and 3 if I had another (so we’d avoid childcare costs) dc2 is getting his 15 hrs in April and 30 in the new year.

id definitely be returning to work FT after a year. I’m blessed with a decent mat package 6 months full pay and 3 half and dh gets 6 months full pay pat leave

i think it’s quite hard to juggle school & working as the day is shorter vs nursery & there’s often activities after school in another location. Ive not gone back to f/t yet!

Surely, it very much depends on where in the country you live. Also I don't think it is necessary to have both a foreign holiday and a UK holiday each year. However I spend more on kids activities than many others. I suppose it's which things you prioritise. If the DC wants to go to uni, if they can continue to live at home or want to live in halls or shared accommodation with other students, that has a big impact on future cost. I think you can have 3 DC on a lot less than £130k per year. Maybe your DH just doesn't want a third DC.

I would say about 50k a year (before tax) if no debt, outside London, thrifty with money and receiving child benefit and funded childcare hours

I think £110k as an absolute minimum if you didn't have holidays abroad and stayed in the UK and didn't have cars on leases or memberships to clubs and gyms x

i agree with this.

There is a difference between affording 3 children, and providing a good life for three children.