How much do you need to earn for 3 kids?

[Diskneedisney]

Exactly that. DH and I are having some back and forth on the topic

i know MN can be a bit skewed with v large incomes but realistically in a 2 parent household (not in london) how much is the minimum gross salary that you think is necessary to live a good life, which includes a holiday abroad and maybe a uk holiday a year.

let’s assume no debts, no cars on anything on finance and a mortgage of £1500 a month. Childcare costs with government funding would be reduced. Let’s assume only one child in nursery. Then big standard average bills on everything else.

dh for instance thinks you’d need a combined income of around 130/150k a year to even contemplate 3. I think that’s a bit silly.

what do we think Mn- appreciate we are painting with a broad brush here

@Diskneedisney sorry I didn’t mean to trigger you! I was just curious how you fit it in with f/t work as I already said that’s what I struggle with. I just didn’t assume you would get them & then go back to work etc. Often people on here say they wfh & combine it childcare but it’s not something I could do with small dc.

obviously it’s different when they are older

I'd be less worried about the money and more concerned about the lack of sleep and portability with 3!

We are a family of 4, expecting 3rd kid soon. Combined income of around 52k this year. Likely to rise a bit over the next few years but we will never earn more than about 70k combined.
Live sw uk, and we don't struggle at all....hence having 3rd child. One child still in nursery, each do a few different clubs. Our mortgage is low but we overpay a lot, and manage to save a fair bit each year.
However we always buy 2nd hand cars, toys, clothes, and we tend to do UK holidays and max once a year. But that wouldn't be any different if we had 1 child or the 3. It's more of a lifestyle choice.

Even with no mortgage I can’t imagine 3 dc on 52k & all my cars have been 2nd hand!

I am a single mom with 3 kids, 1 in uni, 1 in secondary and 1 in primary earn around £50k including maintenance and managed to have one holiday abroad with the kids every year. However my mortgage is smaller than yours less than £ 500. The kids don't Misson anything but I do sacrifice a lot for me in order to be able to afford what they want

Ah rats, looks like we're going to have to return a child, we have three and nothing like 150k income. That's a shame, the youngest is 6 and I'm quite fond of them all now really 🤔😂

Household income is around 70kish although I currently work very part time and can do all the school runs, this wasn't always the case and we managed fine paying for childcare. 4 bed house, relatively cheap area I suppose mortgage is ~£850 a month. We have nice holidays, maybe not flashy ones but nice. We feel relatively comfortable and whilst not rich we feel able to give our children a nice life and enjoy some luxuries.

It sounds like people live in different worlds, paying for kids uni, accommodation if they want to live away from home, house deposits, weddings is not even on the radar for most of us yet we consider ourselves quite comfortable. I have grown up and younger children and the grown ups have paid for their own cars and uni (although have subsidised with free accommodation at home) We’re not entitled to any benefits (not even CB) in skilled professional jobs, not full time as want decent work life balance and much of extra income would be offset by even more tax and childcare anyway. Finances would have to be quite dire before it would come into our consideration not to have another child, although we did consider thins such as waiting for maternity leave eligibility when had just started a new job, so not facing to significant a drop in income and buying a house before starting a family (as we wanted that security). I suppose we all buy into different lives but have friends and family on many parts of that spectrum and yes those facing genuine poverty and housing problems experience extra stress but above that I don’t see a much of a difference in the happiness levels of families with decent housing on 40k or 150k

I’d say your DH is actually pretty spot on there actually

We couldn’t imagine buying a new car and know very few people who have, my parents didn’t even have cars when I was growing up so we consider ourselves quite lucky to have cars at all

It sounds like people live in different worlds, paying for kids uni, accommodation if they want to live away from home, house deposits, weddings is not even on the radar for most of us yet we consider ourselves quite comfortable

We only managed to buy in London because of help from parents (lived at home & saved & then a cash gift). 90% of my peers had help onto the ladder. I will do the same for my dc.

No you didn’t I was joking, my bad should’ve put an LOL. Crucially though I only pick up one child, the other is in til 5:30 as full fee paying. 2 at home I couldn’t. My eldest is quite placid and is happy to play in her room for half and hr after reading and homework are done, my work then I’ll keep for emails, and general admin. Any call, dh and I will arrange so we’re focused on work. Dc1 is 4. But I couldn’t wfh with them at home full time an hr in the evening isn’t too bad for me

We earn just over £100k between us and couldn’t comfortably afford a third. We live in the arse end of Wales with a £1000 pcm mortgage and one car which costs us £250 a month for the next year only. No childcare costs as DC are older but we pay about £250/300 a month on dog care.

We really don’t lead hugely extravagant lifestyles, though we do waste too much on food weekly. We do prioritise holidays, but we don’t spend £10k each time - more like £4-5k for 2 weeks and then a couple of K for smaller breaks in between, which probably comes to £10k over the course of the year.

Im sure if push came to shove we could manage but it would be a step change in
lifestyle.

There's a simple calculation for this..

Step 1: decide how many times you will let them go into Smiggle

Step 2: times that figure by eleventy billion

This is what I mean, if dh said oh I don’t really want to do the lack of sleep and the tantrums again… that I can understand but he’s just picked a number out of the sky and said we need to earn this, and realistically in the next 2/3 year we could, but I don’t really want to wait til 37 to have another kid if it’s something we want. That figure in his mind is achievable for us, it’s a question of 5 years tops maybe.

@Diskneedisney hats off that you can do it! I found at 5-9 mine wanted more from me pestering wise eg food, to play, answers to random life questions, etc 😆. But mine just might be more of a pain in the arse!

Maybe he’s not sure & thought that answer would keep the discussion at bay?

I mean she is a bit of a pain in the arse but we’ve got a bit of a routine down now and with both of us, we’ve managed a method lol

Millions of people have 3 kids in far less than that figure!

I'm a single parent of 3 earning between £35-40k (self employed) and we have a pretty decent life, although admittedly in a cheaper part of the country. Always have enough left over for extras, classes and clubs etc, don't really ever need to Watch the pennies, and we have at least one holidays abroad a year

We do just live in different worlds, my adult DC just saved and bought their own houses, obviously would of been able to buy something fancier and in fancier area if we could give them money for deposit too but we’ve all got what we’ve got, we’re not in poverty and happy enough. Grew up in London but was always an expensive area and very clear to me that no place to raise a family

I just wanted to stay close to where I grew up & as a 2nd gen immigrant wanted to remain close to family & where I feel comfortable. In order to facilitate that I needed help otherwise I’d be even more priced out.

We do just live in different worlds

Clearly! I think London is a great place to raise a family.

This is a timely thread, DH and I would like a third but earn £84k, I'm part time and he works full time. I'm in my early 30s but not very career minded he is much more career focused but spent his youth doing degrees so I worry about his progression even though he is amazing.

Housing is what's killing our finances. We live in a tiny 3 bed in a terrible part of the south east and pay £1200 a month for our mortgage. We'd need quite a bit to move to a better home and my non negotiable is a bed room for each child.

I agree with your DH, as sad as it makes me. I don't expect I'll be able to fund my children's university education but I want to pay for driving/cars and contribute to house deposits and at the very minimum be able to provide a large enough home for them to not have to rent. I was out of my 'D'M's home at 19 and I had very little in the way of money or support

A third child can be done on less money, my mother had three on minimum wage but it's not a life I would like to replicate and wouldn't want to lower our standsrd of living, we have one 10 year old car and a holiday every few years so I don't want to make things worse.

but realistically we can’t and would be unlikely to be able to pay accommodation for 2 kids at uni as it, could be close to £1500 a month, but therein lie work arounds, of perhaps purchasing a BTL property in a uni town and also them staying home and/ or degree apprenticeships. Buy a first car sure, but it doesn’t need to be brand new car, a 10 year old car is perfectly fine.

We don't pay anything like (1/2 of) that for our dc at University. Nor did we for either of the other 2 at different universities.
They also worked until they had saved enough to buy their own first cars (and insurance - which is the killer).
People have some strange ideas about what parents are responsible for.

OK, but that's you. I don't spend much on myself, and my DH practically zero. But tbh he was like that pre kids. We just don't spend lots.
I also work term time so never have to worry about school holidays, which saves a ton.