Things that (irrationally) annoy you when staying at other people’s homes

[NameName2023]

Currently staying at my MIL’s house for a couple of days and three things have irritated me and I need to get over it:

1. bed - actually applies to both my SIL and MIL. Both of their spare rooms are huge, ridiculously so. Yet they only have double/kingsize beds when there is easily enough room for a super king. This is probably my issue though as we have a super king at home so I’m used to the space, rather than having to squeeze in with my 6’5”, rugby built husband.
2. Drinks - not once have they offered anything. I’ve offered to make tea if I’ve made myself one. Also, they’ll only offer alcoholic drinks if DH is in the room (DH was getting toddler down for bed, he came in to top up the milk bottle and FIL offered him a drink, despite me being sat there without one. It’s like women can only be offered a drink once the men have!).
3. lunch - literally nothing in the fridge for lunch today. They knew they had guests but obviously didn’t think to get food in to make sandwiches or anything. I’m breastfeeding our baby and bloody hungry. I was offered a very nutritious breakfast of Rice Krispies and thats all I’ve been offered today. DH and I are going to the supermarket later. Going to stock up on snacks.

I guess some of it is my issue but it’s just really annoyed me. I just want to be back home!

I don't think it's weird if you live close to food shops. Food can be bought as and when needed and guests can also go and buy food.

I think expecting a super king bed is ridiculous.

My guests get towels, but no face cloths (we don't use them) and none of the toiletries. They're welcome to use mine if they haven't brought any, but miniatures of everything? No. If they don't like sharing the ones I use they can bring their own.

As for food, I've never had guests that need to help themselves to food, apart from breakfast if we're up at different times. The rest of the time we cook for them (plenty of food), and offer biscuits, drinks etc. If guests felt the need to get extra food, they'd have to be pretty greedy, frankly.

Likewise I'd never get food from the fridge at a host's house; we always get fed enough without having to do that.

No bathroom bin.
Being forced to have the window open during shower (afterwards, fine, but I don't want to freeze).
No serviette for eating - I'm fine with kitchen roll, but prefer to have something
No lock on the bathroom door

One time I stayed with someone who told me I couldn't wash my hair - didn't like that because I have greasy hair.

It's great if someone has a hair dryer I can borrow, but I obviously don't expect it and can bring my own. Also happy to take care of my own food and drink and certainly don't expect to be waited on or to have toiletries provided like many MNers do.

Only one pillow (I need 2), or pillows that are over-full (I can only sleep on squashy ones). I'm not being a diva - due to pain issues I find it very hard to get to sleep if my pillows aren't a certain way, so I've taken to bringing my own when I go places. I worry about causing offence at people's houses, though, even though I always explain the reason.
Complicated showers. They don't play well with my morning brain.
😂
Having a bin in the bedroom but being visibly disconcerted if anything actually gets thrown in it. insert shrug emoji here
I tend to politely decline toast because the number of times I've had toast cold/burnt/spread with margarine (which I hate) is off the scale and I'd rather not put them to the trouble of making it if I know I won't enjoy it. (Thankfully I'm not really a breakfast eater so can decline without being rude about how they make toast. 😂)
I really struggle if a house is cold, which is doubly tricky at the moment because I'm not going to ask people to put the heating on with the COL as it is.
One my MIL does every single time: cleaning the bathroom before everyone has finished with it in the morning, and then getting frustrated when it's used again. ('Oh... oh... oh, I've just cleaned that shower... oh... oh, well, never mind.')
Another MIL one: leaping to her feet to wash up immediately after a meal while she's practically still chewing, necessitating her guests to do the same so they can wash up for her as she puts so much effort into making the meal (and doesn't like help making it) that it's not fair to expect her to wash up as well. I like to 'let my tea settle' as people said when I was growing up 😄for at least a minute or two, but it can't happen at MIL's otherwise she does it all within minutes of the end of the meal and then says 'It's all right, I've done it' in 'that' kind of voice. grits teeth
And another MIL one: racing into the bedroom to rip the sheets off a bed the second it's been vacated on the last morning of the visit, and immediately flinging the sheets into the washing machine as if they're contaminated. (We strip the bed and wash the sheets for her now to help out, so at least this one hasn't happened in a while.)
(I know this all reads like I can't stand my MIL btw 😂, I'm actually really fond of her, and despite how it reads she doesn't have OCD - she's just very set in her ways, and some of her ways are extraordinarily trying!)

To be clear I would always provide towels. Guests can help themselves from the basket on the landing. I'm just surprised that people don't travel with their own. I certainly wouldn't expect friends and family to provide them.

As for what I do with my own wet towels when I'm a guest, I put them in a bag with my other laundry.

Why do you need to drink through the night, out of interest?

"Hate it now when I stay elsewhere and unsure if I should offer to put the kettle on or if hosts find it rude not to wait to be asked!"

Day guests - I serve them and I don't want them interfering in the kitchen.
Overnight guests - they can look after themselves including for food unless we've discussed a shared meal

Why does this matter for a few days?
And how are the glasses inappropriate? Do you mean using a tumbler for wine or something?

"I don't ever want to drink out of a Disney or flowery frosted 80s glass. I'm not five years old."

OK, well I got the answer to my question. You're a drink snob.
I remember a French friend complaining about having to drink wine out of a paper/plastic cup at a BBQ. There were loads of people there so not reasonable for the host to have that many proper glasses. Friend later admitted he was being a twat.

"They get what I would want. I suspect many people just don’t consider the needs/wants of others."

A lot of people don't have king size beds and dressing tables themselves, let alone in the spare room. Also, there's a difference between the comforts you have in your home and what you need for a temporary stay.

I've just read this thread as I have 2 guests here tonight and wanted to check I'm not doing any of these annoying things! They will have:

A room each, each room has a double bed, clean bedding and 4 pillows
A warm blanket in the room if needed
The room that is colder has a heater in it as well
There are 2 large clean towels folded on each bed
There's a jug of water and a glass next to their beds
There are bedside lamps in both rooms
There are blinds in both rooms and they do make it dark enough

I am cooking dinner tonight and breakfast tomorrow but will show them where tea and coffee are if they're up before me in the morning. I have instant and ground coffee and lots of different types of tea. I have white and red wine glasses and large tumblers for water. I don't think I'm committing any of the faux pas on this thread but I've known these friends a long time and if they want anything else they'll ask me.

I rarely stay with other people as I want a large bed, my own bathroom and peace and quiet so book a hotel if needed.

I'm a shit host according to MN, but even I can provide towels.
They're probably not good enough for most MN, same as my bedsheets, but they are provided.

How many pillows does each person need?
Makeup marks come off in the wash so I wouldn't worry about that.

"People who only drink Tea so never have coffee in even for guests, same with sugar. I kind think it's a staple cupboard item even if you don't drink it, if you intend to host guests you have it in just incase!"

I do, but it's instant so people don't like it. I'm not buying a coffee machine for occasional guests.

Thin small towels
Only hot water at certain times and then it runs out quickly, which I could not live with!

No black out curtains or blinds etc
Small beds
Nowhere to charge phones
No bedside light

" a sheet straight on a mattress (urgh)"

Isn't that normal? Do you mean you expect a mattress protector?
My guests sleep on a sofa bed so it's a sheet directly on that. What's the problem?

Um, no. I found out a long time that a good host in MN land must have spare rooms complete with spare bathrooms, expensive bed sheets, cook every day, etc. Never gonna be me even if I win the lottery.

Now it seems people are expected to have super king beds as well!

I only need one if I can't reach the light switch from my bed. I was called disablist for not having one on here once and even gossiped about on Reddit for it.

I have a lamp in my current place.

Wow, I would always be at your house if I was a child!

We can just about afford to spare a few Penguins here.

I do think you should make people a drink when they arrive though, since they’ve just made a journey.

"That said it’s inconsiderate as a guest to still be in bed at 11.30am when your hosts have young children and have been up for 5 hours (excepting special circumstances like jet lag of course)."

Why?

Just leave them to it and go about your day.

Me too and I have the same problem in hotels. Contrary to popular belief, lots of hotels do NOT have a spare blanket in the cupboard.

A bath towel would take up half my suitcase if only going somewhere for a few days.

We had a friend and his DP staying recently, she was French and a real pain ( and I quite like visitors).

Although maybe it's because they broke the rules and stayed 4 nights that I was so delighted to see the back of them, rather than my lazy cultural stereotype.

I do, but it's instant so people don't like it. I'm not buying a coffee machine for occasional guests.

A Caftiere does the trick.

I don't want to buy a cafetiere either. If I had a regular guest using it, I might, but for people who stay once a year or less?

I'm considering buying better towels and more pillows from this thread. I can copy with one pillow, but it seems other people can't and I also don't need super absorbent towels, but I suppose some people might.
I won't be budging on my synthetic sheets though.