Do you love your grandchildren as much as you love your children?

[sprigatito]

I'm nowhere near the grandparent stage, my kids are 19 and 21 (and no guarantee they will want their own!) but I've been thinking about it a lot lately for some reason, trying to imagine what it would be like. I can't imagine loving someone as much as I do my kids, but I do remember worrying when I was pregnant with dc2 that I wouldn't be able to love them as much as dc1, and that was obviously bollocks.

So just curious really, plus I am stuck on the sofa with Covid and a torn shoulder, so nothing to do but overthink things!

I feel really sorry for DP as he doesn't want children (I have them from a previous relationship) and his brother had a baby last year and his parents definitely love the grandchild way more than they ever loved him. It is at the point of complete obsession. Everything revolves around the baby.

I love them in different ways and my children are part of me especially as they grew inside my body and we have shared so much but even now after 50 years I worry about my dc. My dgc fill me with joy and having them in my life brings me so much delight and love all the time . Knowing that their parents have all the responsibilities just as I had when dc were younger. I am lucky to have such a close family.

I’m pretty sure my mum loves me and my sister more than my son. She does love him as well but her own children have always been her life and I just don’t see that level of investment in him, which is fine because he gets it from me. My MIL however definitely loves my son more than she loves my DH. She used to go months without talking to him before our son was born, now she’s over at our house almost every weekend for hours and we can’t get rid of her. I think some people just love cute little babies and children and lose interest when they become adults, which is very sad.

I love my grandchildren but not as much as I love my children.

This thread is really sad

Why ?

All the people who love their grandchildren more than their children

My Mil was very efficient and looked after the immediate needs for my children. My Mum was loving,smoked far too much,was massive fun generally. Guess who their favourite grandma was???

Kids will always go for the fun part , but that wasn’t the question .

Recently had my first baby and my parents have been completely doollally ever since. Still, the other day as she was heading off my mum whispered in my ear “you’re still the most important”. It made me laugh and left me touched at the same time, to think that at some level she still values me as her “baby” (she’s not indulgent with me, far from it usually).

My mum is far more demonstrative with my kids than she ever was or is with me or my siblings - but in that demonstration I see her love for us, if that makes sense. We’re closer than ever since I became a mum too.

I dont have grandchildren & no idea if I will but it seems to me that the love you have for your own child can also be very painful because of stress & worry, also being younger & more hot headed.
I'd expect it to be easier with grandchildren, unless you're not a person who mellows with age?

That does seem to be a common theme, the lack of stress and worry in being a grandparent rather than a parent. I can definitely understand that. It's so lovely to read about all these loving and close-knit families, I hope ours will be like that in the future.

I have 3 adult DC. 1 DD and 2 x DS's. My DD has 2 DS's. I love all of them. But I don't love my DGS's more than my DC. I love my DC more than anybody or anything and I'd do almost anything for any of them. I have fun playing with my DGC but I don't see them very often due to they live 150 miles away so only see them 4 or 5 times a year. I see my youngest son every week and he invites me over for a cooked breakfast some Sundays. I definitely feel closer to my DC.

I love my grandkids as much as I love my kids.
The difference is, I can Indulge in my grandkids more than I did with my kids in both time and money.
I'm a sucker for a little crumpled face if they're told off by their parents for something.
Yes, I'm the grandma who says oh don't tell them off, while giving cuddles and sweeties, yet I seemed to be forever telling my kids off.

If anything my parents love my daughter more than they love me.

There's a more fierce, protective love there than I sense for me. (And I'm definitely hugely loved)

@Starseeking that's exactly my situation-or it was until the girls hit the teenage years at which point my mum started to be critical of them too which neither I or they will stand for (where it's not justified). It's a shame as she was amazing with them when they were little and they adored her-now they don't enjoy spending time with her as much. If you also she she would say she adores them-I'm not so sure anymore. But she definitely did when they were little.

Isn't that what parenting is also like though? When they're little, we're super affectionate and tolerant. As they get older we expect more of their behaviour and drop the soppy stuff because they no longer want it.

I'm busy enjoying every moment of my DGCs' toddler/pre-school days when they love being with me as much as I love being with them, and I get huge hugs and sweetness. I know it won't be long before they have better things to do than visit grandma, and/or they'll be sitting in my living room focused on their phones.

I'm a granny to 5 grandchildren. They are so much better than your own. All the lovely edited highlights with none of the teething, illness and sleepless nights.

I get to spoil them rotten which I never did with my own children as we were too poor.

Yes! Very much so.

I didn't think I could love anyone as much as my own children, but I certainly love my grandson just as intensely.

He and his parents have lived with me since he was born- so the bond may be a bit different because of that. I do a fair amount of hands on care, but I also have the option of not doing so, so it's more enjoyable than parenting.

I completely adore him.

I love my dgc more! Gorgeous little creatures. My own DC are grown up with all the faults and foibles that grownups have. Still love them though. They'll always be my babies.

My DF loves my DS more than he loves me and I love that! Partners in crime and best friends.