As @ArghhWhatNext said, I have recently ghosted a friend who was unkind, undermining and enjoyed humiliating me at every opportunity. I gave her multiple chances over 15 years. One main issue was that, despite being my friend who settled down young and with her first serious partner, she never matured or changed and has stayed as a 19 year old who is feeding off the dramas that happened in 2010.
One on one, she was fine most of the time, normal, nice, as soon as ANYBODY else was around, she is/was awful to me. I was her easy target. But you know, it's just banter.... but you can't say anything like that to them of course or you're a bitch.
I managed to distance myself from her in my mid twenties, due to our lives going in different directions. When I did see her (which was extremely infrequently) she would revert back to humiliating me (usually calling me a sl*g, bringing up a relationship from 2010, my first serious boyfriend which was very controlling and messed up, bringing up past mistakes, mocking my appearance).
I distanced myself further and then for some unknown reason, when I had DC I gave her another chance. We saw each other a couple of times and it was nice, I felt quite positive. Cut to me bumping into her and a group of people whilst I was with my partner and children, and she humiliated me again, then proceeded to blank us the rest of the time if she saw us walking around. I felt so embarrased by her behaviour and the feelings of shame, it ruined our family day out.
As soon as they turned their backs on me, I realised I shouldn't have said hello. She basically acted to the people she was with, like she hasn't had anything to do with me or even speaks to me. Even though whenever there was an issue between her and DH she would want to randomly message me about it because she has nobody else to say it too.
That was 3 months ago. After I bumped into her, I waited to see if she would message to apologise, but she didn't. That was the nail in the coffin. She then messaged me randomly the other week and I haven't responded to her and I never will again. I don't care if it is the cowards way out, I've given her multiple opportunities. If she cannot realise after our accidental encounter, the reasons why I want nothing to do with her anymore, that is her problem - she needs to grow up, move past 2010 and learn she cannot bully people due to her own insecurities.
I have a close friendship group, a loving partner, a family, a career, I don't need that kind of toxic teenage shite in my life anymore. Like I said, she never grew up in terms of how she behaves, and I am not surprised her only friends are her husbands other halves. I am not the only friend she has lost and I know that I wasn't / I'm not the problem and it took me 15+ years to realise that.
Thank you for my therapy session!