When your primary kid goes to secondary, is it easier timewise (as a mum?)

[pristinemarine]

Hello! My primary age kid will go to secondary school in September.

As a WFH single parent who does virtually every school run, which can take up to 1.75hrs a day (walking there and back) I am always pushed for time.

Mornings are getting ready for school then doing school run, then I get home, do some cleaning, try do as much work as I can from home, more cleaning, meal prep etc then it's time to go again by 2.45ish

I then manage to do a bit more work, cleaning, feed my DD or alternately we go to an after school club a couple of times a week

It is tiring and I never have enough hours in the day!

I am just wondering for all mums of secondary who were in a similar situation if things improved a lot for how much time you had in a day when they moved up?

I realise there will be other challenges but primary school is pretty exhausting so I can't wait until my kid can get herself to school etc.

Would love to know what difference it has made to your life, for better or worse! Thanks for reading :)

Sounds like the only difficulty is the school run, so it depends when she gets herself there. For me the school run is a 15 min round walk so max (sharing with Dh) it saves me 30 mins a day.

dd are in y5 and y7 and both walk to school and back. I still have to get them up and ready, make lunches etc. The Y7 one is harder as they have to take the right books every day and homework is now 3 times a week - barely got any in primary - and I have to supervise that. She has ASD though and struggles with organisation and attention. I suspect most y7 girls are more self sufficient.

I have twins so they moved up at the same time. It made a huge difference.

I did find primary school very time-consuming because I drove them there and back (not far, three miles each trip). Sometimes one or both did afterschool clubs (at school), if not most parents and kids often went to the park next door after school which could be for an hour or more. (I could have said no but they loved to play on the swings or take their scooters, so we often did). They also had swimming lessons (not always the same class although always the same day, sometimes with a half hour gap in between), beavers/cubs (at two different groups/days initially), ballet, drama club etc. DH helped with beavers/cubs but the others were earlier in the evening.

I was mainly a SAHM although I worked one day a week, some evenings and the rest from home. All pretty manageable, and nothing like your situation, but still fairly relentless.

When they started secondary the dynamic really changed. They got a taxi provided by the council (could have had for primary but I felt they were too young). They do have afterschool stuff so I sometimes have to do later collections - but the other activities have dwindled to nothing. They don't do sports clubs, and although they did scouts, and then explorers, that folded.

They also get much more self-sufficient. You can tell them to feed themselves when they get in, if you're busy? You don't need to be there, even. They can make their own packed lunches. A lot of that is gradual, but I do think you'll find it easier.

The downside is you no longer have any social contact with other parents (except in my case there is one mum who became a good friend, and two others I meet from time to time - but none of their children go to the same school as mine now). But the daily chit chat outside the school gates disappeared overnight. I did know a couple of other mums whose children went to our secondary, so there was an option to message someone and say 'help, what do they need for cookery tomorrow?' - but it's not the same. I don't know any of the DCs friends' parents now, or have their contact details. I suppose it saves even more time, but I did find it quite strange at first...

Mine walking back in Y7 with a later finish time gave me far more time to do things. I was fortunate that they walked to school in Y6 although I picked them up.

I would say that you need to think of a back up plan for when the bus fails if you don't drive. There are also after school clubs to consider in that too. Other than that you'll probably be free from 07:50 to about 16:00!

It’s easier in that he walks himself there and back, but much harder in that there’s over an hour of homework to do every night, and it takes sometimes 2+ hours to get him to do it (he has SEN). I still have to organise him and make sure he has everything packed, school are super strict on behaviour and not very accommodating to child’s additional needs, and his mental health has been awful since starting. Plus there are now not holiday clubs that he can do, and yet he’s not mature enough to stay home alone whilst we’re at work.

For me I really noticed the difference when they went to senior school. They leave just before 8 as the school day starts at 8.20. They finish at 3 but it was a slightly longer walk home from senior school, plus they would walk home slowly with their friends. I found being able to start work about 8am really got me ahead for the day.

School sports start. So more time!