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Original poster

When your primary kid goes to secondary, is it easier timewise (as a mum?)

81 replies

pristinemarine · 02/02/2024 14:49

Hello! My primary age kid will go to secondary school in September.

As a WFH single parent who does virtually every school run, which can take up to 1.75hrs a day (walking there and back) I am always pushed for time.

Mornings are getting ready for school then doing school run, then I get home, do some cleaning, try do as much work as I can from home, more cleaning, meal prep etc then it's time to go again by 2.45ish

I then manage to do a bit more work, cleaning, feed my DD or alternately we go to an after school club a couple of times a week

It is tiring and I never have enough hours in the day!

I am just wondering for all mums of secondary who were in a similar situation if things improved a lot for how much time you had in a day when they moved up?

I realise there will be other challenges but primary school is pretty exhausting so I can't wait until my kid can get herself to school etc.

Would love to know what difference it has made to your life, for better or worse! Thanks for reading :)

OP posts:
Porkchops22 · 04/02/2024 20:24

Are they getting the bus to school on their own? If so, yes.
Are you still taking them? If so, no.

Savoretti · 04/02/2024 20:25

Not the point I know but do you really clean 3 times a day everyday??

Parker231 · 04/02/2024 20:31

Much easier - they got the Tube to and from school on their own, no more breakfast club but the plus of a mandatory after school homework session.

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Muchtoomuchtodo · 04/02/2024 21:02

@Parker231 MNers in London will be a minority and very few other places have decent public transport! Many of us live just under the criteria for school transport yet not on safe walking routes so we still end up taking and collecting our dc. If they do qualify for school transport then that leaves at the end of lesson time and dc still need collecting if they stay for any after school clubs or play after school matches.

Mumoffourkiddos · 04/02/2024 21:14

Honestly so much easier I have 3 in secondary all wake themselves , wash and dress and feed themselves pack what they need and leave when they need to ...still have the 7 Yr old that needs to be woken up and fed and packed lunch made and taken to school but so much easier x they text me if they are going to the park after school or going to a friends x also we have tracking app and we are in the same circle I can see where they are and they can see where I am xx

Bsgpuss · 04/02/2024 22:15

Are there other parents near by. We used to take it in turns to take the children to school but pick up our own. Had a group of 4 mums.

alanet · 05/02/2024 09:24

On yer bike!

Would save time and energy, get up a little later, have more hours at home during the school day, with more energy, get home sooner after school, stay up a little later. Could save at least an hour per day.

Original poster
pristinemarine · 05/02/2024 09:32

alanet · 05/02/2024 09:24

On yer bike!

Would save time and energy, get up a little later, have more hours at home during the school day, with more energy, get home sooner after school, stay up a little later. Could save at least an hour per day.

as explained upthread it's not possible for various reasons I'm afraid. Something we've considered before.

OP posts:
Original poster
pristinemarine · 05/02/2024 09:34

Savoretti · 04/02/2024 20:25

Not the point I know but do you really clean 3 times a day everyday??

I explained a while up by clean I guess I really meant general housework and short tasks e.g. laundry, clean kitchen, prep meals, small DIY tasks. Broken into short sessions rather than three full cleans! I tend to do small bursts rather than one long session. So I don't have a cleaning obsession if that's what you're inferring, I should have been clearer though.

OP posts:
Beezknees · 05/02/2024 09:37

Muchtoomuchtodo · 04/02/2024 21:02

@Parker231 MNers in London will be a minority and very few other places have decent public transport! Many of us live just under the criteria for school transport yet not on safe walking routes so we still end up taking and collecting our dc. If they do qualify for school transport then that leaves at the end of lesson time and dc still need collecting if they stay for any after school clubs or play after school matches.

Most other towns/suburbs have decent public transport, it's really just smaller villages and more rural places that don't.

Beamur · 05/02/2024 09:41

If she's on the bus you will save a tonne of time, but might miss the exercise!
Definitely try the school run during the holidays but if other kids are going to the same school on the same bus, it's not such a big task as you just follow the uniform. Does she know anyone going to the same school/same school year? A travel buddy is great. Make sure she knows what to do if something goes wrong - my DD forgot to get off at the right stop on her way home once and had no idea where she was!
If travelling to primary school is too daunting have a few other ways to practice independent travel - maybe a few hours out with friends locally or an errand to the shop. You probably need the reassurance she can manage too - I was very anxious about my DD going to the local shop so I definitely needed my apron strings stretching a bit!

Umbrella15 · 05/02/2024 17:57

No sorry op, I foumd it got harder, earlier start times and earlier finishes. I still had to drive my kids to school because the school was to far to walk. You will also probally get about 24 hours notice that you need to buy something for school the next day, like for cooking etc, that means evenings could be taken up shopping. There could also be extra cirruclar activities that they would need dropping off to or picking up from. Or evan going out with friends, you will find they live further away and will need lifts. I also found that "teenagers", need more emotional suport than younger children. I persinally found primary school easier than secondary. Good luck though.

MaitreKarlsson · 05/02/2024 18:15

Also depends on senior school core hours - my DC's senior schools start at 8 & finish at 4, a local school starts 9 and finishes at 3

BooBooDoodle · 05/02/2024 18:17

My DS is in year 8 now. The school put on a free breakfast club every morning. He has always been an early bird so getting him out of bed isn’t an issue thankfully. I start work which is literally out the back of his school at 8am the same time as breakfast club so he walks to work with me then heads over. He walks home with friends. There was a time we had to get him to breakfast club at juniors and collecting him from extra curricular clubs after work. So much easier

Beezknees · 05/02/2024 18:19

I never give DS lifts anywhere but we have good public transport so depends where you live.

Jumpers4goalposts · 05/02/2024 18:46

I would say the first term is mental… there’s just so much to remember and it’s tough getting into the new routine.

Now though it is much easier, she gets the bus herself. We live in a hamlet and the secondary is in a nearby village but the majority of children come from villlages surrounding so lots of them get the bus. It’s funded by the council as the route to school is a dangerous one, but the school is our catchment school. It’s made her grow up a lot and that means her need of my time has reduced as we go on. She will often stay on after school for their free afterschool clubs and will get the late bus home.

Mothership4two · 05/02/2024 19:00

When your primary kid goes to secondary, is it easier timewise (as a mum?)

For me it made a massive difference as they then took the school bus in. Also, at primary I did a lot of volunteering for stuff as they were always asking whereas wasn't asked for at secondary. Still parent taxi for many evenings though

saffy2 · 05/02/2024 19:21

Yes it did make a huge difference on my times in the morning, apart from times his bus didn’t let
him on. We have now moved closer to his school so he can walk. And that made even more difference.
rhey do require a lot of support though, checking his bag making sure he’s got everything and then when he gets home (particularly in year 7)he liked a debrief of the day. There’s a lot of reminding, make sure your homework is done etc. but in general he has been fairly self sufficient since starting secondary, even more so as he has moved up the school.

Jeannie88 · 05/02/2024 19:56

Won't make a difference to me, with a DC with Sen we will continue to drive them to school. If yours is within walking distance or school bus put on then yes it will be easier as she will take herself to school and back. Xx

NoDought · 05/02/2024 20:01

Can she walk herself now? Totally understand dependent on area but mine have walked from year 5 with some weaning onto it from summer term in year 4. Can you walk part way to start? You will gain a lot more time already.

LaDamaDeElche · 05/02/2024 20:42

I was a single parent when DD was at primary and although the school run (or childminders run) was shorter, I then had a 40 min commute each way to work. I didn't do the amount of cleaning/tidying you are mentioning. There were only two of us, so unless you have more kids, it isn't really that much washing/mess, just cleaning up after meals and no more than one washing machine per day. What else is there? The rest I did at the weekend or after DD went to bed, including as much batch cooking as I could, to make life easier.

MumTeacherofMany · 05/02/2024 21:24

Secondary school was a lot further away than the primary so it takes us much more time before & after school

celticprincess · 05/02/2024 21:39

It depends on many things. My daughter started walking to primary school herself in y6 once the mornings were lighter and the nights were lighter. I only took her and picked her up on work days where she had to go to wrap around as we weren’t trialling staying home.

Ive 2 at high school. Youngest gets herself up and out no bother. Oldest needs a lift - she’s autistic and getting her up and out can be tricky. Over the winter I’ve picked them up when they’ve stayed late for clubs as I don’t like them walking on the dark.

Mine both do music and drama so we still have the performances to attend!!

They also have activities that need me to take them to as they aren’t all walkable. Between being a single parent and having 2 kids I’m pretty much taxiing on a daily basis still. I can however leave them home for a few hours on an evening or weekend when taxiing the other one about rather than dragging them with us or dropping them at my mum’s to be looked after. One has a social life so will happily head out with her friends on the weekend day she’s not got activities but I’m still taking the other to their activity.

They can pretty much put themselves to bed these days and often after school/activities just head up to their rooms and do their own thing so I not always needed all evening like when they were younger.

OtsyBotsy90 · 05/02/2024 22:06

So much easier now he can get himself to and from school on public transport 👋
Good for them to learn the responsibility of travelling to and from school too!

mightybrunhilde · 05/02/2024 23:15

It does get easier
When my ED started secondary it was in the next road so she walked on her own
The younger DS & YD went to a primary school that would not let a child go out of the gate without a parent or guardian
I worked nights so enrolled them into breakfast club so they started at 8.15
The senior schools had breakfast club too so could be dropped off early
DS went to a senior school 2.5 miles away so dropped him off at 8.
3 years later YD went to a senior school half a mile from DS so dropped them off early and parked halfway between the schools for pickup
This gave me 5 to 6 hours sleep
After a year they walked home together or on their own so I didn't need to do the afternoon run
They also convinced family friends to give them part or fully completed wild bean cards so they could buy a hot chocolate between them
I found out after that the manager always gave them one each as she thought it was lovely the way DS ordered a drink and gave it to his little sister

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