Traditions we have lost?

[Lydara22]

Brought on by family circumstance currently, I remembered that when I was a child, my mother always closed all of the curtains in the house as a respectful sign of mourning.
We don't do that anymore do we?

What other respectful traditions have we lost?

@SunMootStars I was told not to eat in the street as part of my professional training! I sometimes do, but I always consider where I am and what I’m eating.

I had a boyfriend who smoked and he had a similar thing about that - we had to stop and find a bench to sit on if he was going to have a cigarette. That’s about 25 years ago, and felt old school even then.

Yes I was going to say it about smoking too, but as none of us smoked I thought maybe I was misremembering that one!

And the ‘scramble’ at weddings - the groom throwing his loose change as he and his bride got their car to leave their wedding reception - pennies for all of the children to ‘scramble’ for.

Decorating the newly married couples ‘leaving’ car - tin cans tied to the bumpers, lipstick writing on the back window. Heck if a noise as they drove away.

My DH thinks I’m odd because I prefer not to eat in the street. It was just the way I was brought up. My DF would always make us walk in the inside of the pavement rather than the road side. In fact my DH does that too.
My DS19 will often open the car door for a girl he is giving a lift to and opens and holds doors out of politeness. He went to a posh school where manners and behaviour are important. Shakes hands with his friends and hugs close friends. He plays rugby though so has no aversion to body contact.

Half-day closing (Wednesdays and Saturdays)
Sunday closing

@Lydara22
You've reminded me - I had completely forgotten that one - yes we always had to leave if the friend's family we were visiting were about to have dinner!

My niece, 8, asked for writing paper etc for Xmas.this year, and wrote me a lovely thank you letter using it! I'd had a laugh with my sister re the present as we'd always loved that stuff, brambly hedge etc, but thought the younger generation didn't like it. Maybe she's an oddball, but I appreciated her letter.

Christingle was a big deal for me growing up, on a par with bonfire night. I know it's still celebrated but it's nowhere near as prominent.
Traditional Mary & Joseph nativity.
I just about remember Whit Walks. My mum has photos of herself dolled up for them.

Not over taking funeral processions,
or cutting in between the cars, slowing down when passing the opposite way to a funeral procession. Or if walking stopping and quietly acknowledging with a bin of the head the passing of a fellow human being.
All respectful traditions lost.

When we were in my grandfather's funeral car just a few years ago, a lady we were passing stopped and bowed her head. I was so weirdly grateful to her for caring to do that, I'll never forget it.

depends where you live
I saw a maypole being ribboned only yesterday

My DH is always disappointed if a hearse goes by and he doesn’t have a hat on to take off.

@BreakfastAtMimis sad to hear of your loss but nice to some can still be respectful of both the departed and family.

As mentioned up thread, I was thinking about wedding cars with tin cans just the other day. Very common in the 70s and 80s.

Also we would just drop in on people. If we’d been somewhere and realised we would be going past someone’s house on the way home we’d just drop in, unannounced. I think most MNers would have a heart attack. People did it to us all the time too, especially on a Sunday when everything was shut.

I remember keeping curtains closed when there had been a death in the family, where I come from it was only men who went to the graveside.

On Hogmanay the house had to be clean and tidy for the New Year, you were supposed to pay back or give back anything you had borrowed and start the year with a clean slate. Back door open to let the old year out as you let the new year in, and no drams before midnight!

Yes to the wedding day scramble! I think that might have been a northern thing? My southern friends haven’t heard of it, they are a boy younger than me though.

When my grandfather died, in the 1980s, one of our very elderly neighbours was far too frail to attend the funeral. However, he took the trouble to dress in his best suit, stood smartly at his gate and doffed his cap as we passed. It meant so much to me that he did that for my grancha. He was a real gentleman, and it showed.

The man walking on the outside of the pavement nearest the traffic - my dad always did this, even when we were adults.
Young people piling out of the pub on Christmas Eve at 11.50 and legging it up the road for Midnight Mass.
The priest coming round to bless our new house (he separately blessed my Wendy House, and I was thrilled)!

When I was a child we did Penny for Halloween. We wouldn’t accept sweets in case they’d been tampered with, we collected pennies and took them to the shop to buy sweets. Funny how people seem to be more trusting nowadays? I don’t like it, it’s dodgy taking sweets from strangers.

Pennies from brides too. When someone got engaged they started saving coppers. On the day of the wedding all the kids gathered outside to see the bride come out and get into the car, because she would throw the coppers for all the kids to collect.

Brides wearing garters and 'something borrowed something blue' doesn't seem to be as common these days.

I'd have loved for now-DH to do this!
Is it too late, we've been married a few months
😎

I remember a very old chap in about 1970 till he died in around 1975 always tipping his hat to every Lady he met on the street including my Mother. He had been in the war and used to show me his pocket watch which was on a chain. On reflection he was a WWI veteran.

Thank you letters are completely standard for all my family! In Jan we get lots from nieces and nephews and our DC say thank you to their aunts and uncles and godparents in a letter. I send thank you letters when I’ve stayed overnight and also send condolence letters.

taking your hat off indoors is basic good manners.

Closing the curtains when someone dies and dressing the room where the coffin was in the house.flowers and candles.all mirrors covered up.

i remember mourners wore black arm bands and yes you would stop and show your respect when the hearse passed.

sitting up all night as a vigil saying the rosary on the eve of the funeral

my mum told me when she wad s child anyone from the local community could go into the deceased house s pay their respects to the open coffin

Yes, at my primary school the girls did maypole dancing and the boys did Morris dancing. Was just saying yesterday I bet no schools do this anymore