Do You Celebrate Valentines Day?

[RabbitsRock]

DH & I have been together for 23 years & married for nearly 22. He always buys me 2 dozen red roses, chocolates & a card. He also buys flowers for DD15, a sweet thing he started when she was little. I buy him a giant bar of his favourite chocolate & a card. We don’t usually go out to eat but will have something like a steak dinner, either actually on the night or sometimes if it falls in the week we wait til the weekend. I may buy Prosecco or Cava.

Funny how you ignored the posts from the people who don't celebrate it because it isn't their thing, and also for financial reasons.

Yeah, I love it - having an exciting break away with my husband this year (I planned it - sometimes he would organise something) and we will exchange small gifts (chocolates, a few charity shop books...I've hinted I'd like him to pick me a costume jewellery brooch this year, as I am expanding my collection!) He doesn't do cards for any occasion - partly an environmental thing I think but also that's a bit of an excuse, but it's just who he is - but I might get him a card.

I usually get some sort of Palentines card/small gift for my daughter and for close female friends too - haven't organised that this year but will think about it. I definitely text all my friends and loved ones a happy valentine's day at the very least.

Yes it's a commercial occasion, but I love the idea of celebrating love in all its forms, and the day just gives me an excuse and a reminder to do little things to show my appreciation for those I love!

I don't remember anyone saying they don't do it for financial reasons and most of the ones saying it's not their thing also state because it's tacky, for youngsters, not very couples that have been together a long time, because they don't need to be told when to show affection blah blah blah

There was discussion about cost in the first couple of pages. And as you say 'most' not all, it seems you agree with me that there are in fact some posters who've simply said they don't like it?

I honestly do not feel "superior" nor am I sneering at anyone at all, some of these posts are lovely, it's just something I've never been into at all (I also hate my Birthday & Christmas 😄) I love romantic dinners, whether out or at home & I LOVE flowers, it just bothers me that the florists & restaurants inflate their prices (& in the case of the latter rush you out the door!) like all retailers do at various time of the year

I am a Grinch but it's solely about me not any of you lovely Cupids 💘

@SleepingStandingUp

I can't be bothered to go back and read the posts but were they not saying that flowers are more expensive on that day and eating out is? Both not necessarily true. Not all restaurants have a special menu for Valentines - indian restaurants rarely do in my experience.

No need to buy flowers. As I said before my DH has bought me in the past books, cd's, dvd's, earrings, perfume. None of those things increase in price for Valentines.

When I said "most" I did in fact mean the majority. Every year it's the same. Posters can never just say they don't celebrate it. They always have to make a comment about how silly it is, how tacky it is, how they don't need to celebrate it because they and their partner show love every single day of the year etc etc

Yes. Bottle of port or brandy for me. 4 pack of guinness for him. Chocolates for both, and he gets me flowers. Always a card each too. Always go for a meal too. Done it for nearly 40 years. No harm in it at all and the pearl clutching and sniffing and snobbery that some people spew out just makes me laugh. Why do some people care so much what other people do? 😆 I think a lot of the hate and mockery is jealousy.

Right, but whether you think they were correct or not doesn't matter. They still gave a reason that the poster yarning on about superiority ignored.

As for every year, frankly there are usually as many posts from people complaining about other people's reasons for not celebrating as there are from people who don't celebrate.

In Iceland we do 'Men's Day' at the end of January and 'Women's Day' at the end of February, which are the same kind of thing except you make a fuss of men on Men's Day and women on Women's Day.

So there's no appetite for Valentine's Day in mid February in our house. I much prefer Women's Day tbh. It's more fun to take turns I think! I suppose it all comes to the same thing if you're in a same sex relationship though.

I don't see anyone complaining about people's reasons for not celebrating.

Posters saying they don't celebrate because "oh they show love all year" are trying to sound superior. It doesn't have to be an either or situation. You can show love year round AND celebrate Valentines Day

Heavens no. It’s commercial nonsense.

The original concept was about secret admirers, about adults. Absolutely not about old marrieds and I find involving children in any way really icky.

If you genuinely love someone you don’t have to buy cliched crap on an arbitrary date.

Not jealous in the slightest. It just shows a huge lack of imagination to do all that. I am amused that it is seen as romantic by some.

Does one short post constitute "yarning"?

Ok, the majority not all of the "no's" are about how they don't have to be told to love, they aren't so silly as to waste money on it, it's cringe, it's for kids, theirs is real love etc

Blathering would perhaps have been better. Because you said something that wasn't true at all, and had to be corrected.

We don't do cards and things, but we do silly things like carving chips into heart shapes or heart shaped toast for breakfast. One year I got Happy Valentines Day written on the toilet roll. I might do a nice pudding, but I will use any excuse to have pudding.

No one said you do have to buy crap on a set date did they? But if you love someone you may well want to buy them something on Valentines Day or any other day of the year, you know like many couples do!

DH will quite often buy me flowers or a bar of my favourite chocolate. Sometimes he knows there is a book I am going to get so will buy it for me. He might see a pair of earrings he knows I would like so will buy those. For Valentines he will buy me something he knows I will like not a piece of crap.

Nothing whatsoever wrong in a couple showing love no matter how long they have been married. We are both pretty romantic and make a big thing of each others' birthdays, our wedding anniversary, even the date we met 44 years ago. Surely much better than constantly arguing or even not talking to each other?

Very true! We celebrate without the ‘cliched crap’ it’s great!! ❤️

Yes, but DH cooks us a three course meal at home on the weekend nearest so not the actual day. This year the kids are old enough to serve us as waiters and they are very excited to take our orders even though there is only one option!

We give each other a small gift and a homemade card.

You would think it would go without saying, but yes, we love each other the rest of the year too 😂and no social media for either of us either BTW. No one knows except us!

Wasn't true at all is an overstatement when I never explicitly stated all, and the correction was to most.

But anyway, DH and I will do something to mark it just like we do at Birthdays and Christmas despite it being a prescribed time to externally validate our feelings for one another AND manage to have a healthy relationship where we show each other we love each other every day.

No it isn't, it's entirely accurate. If you'd allowed for the fact that actually, people have given a variety of reasons why they don't celebrate, it would've undermined the point you were trying to make.

@SleepingStandingUp "But anyway, DH and I will do something to mark it just like we do at Birthdays and Christmas despite it being a prescribed time to externally validate our feelings for one another AND manage to have a healthy relationship where we show each other we love each other every day."

NO! Only if you genuinely love someone would you not show love or appreciation on these days. If you give them a gift on such a celebration your love is clearly fake. 🙄

The alternative to falling for the commercialism of Hallmark Card Day is not constant arguments.

What an utterly ridiculous claim. 🤣

We fell into playing Valentine’s Day chicken- we say we won’t buy anything, then spend a week saying we aren’t doing cards are we?… and then on the day see whether either of us has panicked and bought a card because they think the other one has. So sometimes we have 1 card, sometimes 2 and sometimes non. It entertains us.

We sometimes use it as an excuse for a night away sans kids if we can get a babysitter.

(we are both prone to ‘treating’ each other anyway. DW especially is always bringing me flowers and cake and stuff)

Well considering I did not claim that.

What I said was what is wrong with a couple showing love to each other no matter how long they have been together when so many couples argue or don't talk to each other.

We have quite a few friends who either seem to argue most of the time or just don't talk and more or less lead separate lives.

None of us know how long we have so why not show that you care to your OH?

No. But my dad sends me flowers every year.