How to quieten a busy mind at night?

[jaychops]

Busy mum of 2 primary aged children in my thirties, work 4 days a week in quite a stressful job at the moment. Usual manic evenings when coming home of reading, spellings, kids hobbies (lots of), baths, bedtimes etc etc. Very supportive and involved DH.

The issue is that when I'm trying to go to sleep, my mind is so active with thoughts, worries, conversations replaying over in my head. My mind is so 'busy' that I'm not truly relaxing and when I get to sleep it means I'm having vivid dreams. I've tried all the usual techniques to relax before bed, no TV or phone, reading a book etc but it's like my mind cannot stop being busy!

Any suggestions?

Listening to an audio book whilst she fall asleep?

To add - my mind has no need to be active as at the moment I'm more organised than I have been for a while so it's not like I'm trying to remember something. I just can't ever switch off! It's the same when I wake first thing in the morning.

Rain sounds / white noise

I subscribe to the Calm app. There are loads of sleep stories on there that are brilliant for helping you drop off.

Have a look at this;

I like to listen to podcasts or audiobooks in bed. I find concentrating on what they're saying takes my mind off my own thoughts so I can actually relax and nod off

I listen to a yoga nidra recording. Only thing that's ever worked for me.

Brown noise. Helps reduce anxiety as well as drowning out busy thoughts.

I can strongly recommend Insight Timer. They have (free) sleep meditations with positive affirmations. My mind races with thoughts all the time at night when I’m trying to sleep, and it really helps. You can download tracks also and play them whilst your phones on airplane mode if you wanted to save your battery overnight.

You could look into herbal supplement's too? Ashwaghanda is very good.

Journaling and reflecting on gratefulness can help calm the mind too.

Hope that helps. X

I found the sleepcasts on the headspace app were really good to quieten the mind.

It’s hard isn’t it? For me, a few things have worked. What I tend to find is that something works for a while, but then it stops working and I need a new method. I can always come back to old methods, but I need to not get frustrated when they stop working.

Im sure lots of people will have great suggestions, but here’s what (sometimes!) words for me:

putting on a calm sounding podcast that I don’t want to actually listen to. Somehow the effort of ignoring it while I think my own thoughts seems to really help. 99% invisible is a great podcast for this.

Ive never been a fan of white or brown noise, but I recently discovered Headspace’s orange noise and I just love that.

When I was exercising regularly, a fifteen minute run would shut my brain right up. Experts all say not exercise close to bed time but it worked a treat for me.

i used to have quite a bit of success with sleep hypnosis audio tracks.

good luck!

Following on from @Orchid09 ’s recommendation of Insight Timer, I’m a big fan of one of the artists on there called Andrew Johnson.

Worries - write them down. Lists of things to do or not to forget - write them down. I used to wake up at 2am and write things down in a panic. Helped no end.

Replaying conversations - therapy. Talking therapy helped me a lot with rumination. When that's bad, I know it's time for me to speak to someone or think about medication for anxiety. I'm on St John's Wort long term now and it's a huge help.

Getting to sleep in the first place - not trying! I read until my eyes droop. If I really can't sleep, I get up and read on the sofa rather than toss and turn.

Also a fan of the sleep casts and various white noise etc options on Headspace.. the orange noise is actually my favourite.
Mostly use orange noise when I go to bed and then a short sleep cast or windown if I wake up anxious /with mind chatter.

Altho now I'm past the free trial I might explore other apps as it's about £10 a month and I don't use most of the other meditations/features...

I listen to the very old Sherlock Holmes dramatisations on iplayer. The old fashioned speech is very calming and comforting. The stories interesting enough to take my mine off my thoughts but not gripping that I have to stay awake. I've listened to the first 10 minutes of some stories repeatedly and never get to the end

Oh haha just seen a PP on the Headspace orange noise.. not sure why but for me this one really is the most calming (I've listened to a tonne of white or pink noise with my toddler.. I don't think he sleeps as well without it!)

I will check him out, I’m listening to Kenneth Soares and Christian Thomas.

A sleep 'expert' came into work.
She suggested (once all comfy and settled) to work your way up your whole body like this...
I love my left toes
I love my left heel
I love
My left ankle...

Very slowly and focused... works for me!

I have found the Clementine app very helpful.

I use rain sounds and also tell myself that I don't have to sleep, I'm just safe and cosy in bed, resting, no pressure, isn't the bed so comfortable, my DP/the cat so snuggly etc etc. it's the only thing that really works for me. I have always been a bad sleeper and tried so many things.

I listen to a poetry podcast (but sometimes the ad break wakes me up if it's too energetic) or an audiobook about gardening read by someone with a lovely voice! Like others here, the words stop me thinking about other things. DP thinks I'm mad.

The Nothing Much Happens podcast is brilliant for this (free on Spotify).

Also, The Braveway meditation package - £40 but such a good investment. Each meditation has a different theme (eg, de exciting the nervous system) and helps with clearing the mind.

This is me sometimes for weeks on end. Not being able to fall asleep and then when I do fall asleep I’m awake again at 3am, might fall asleep but have to get up by 5.30am for work.
My mind is constantly whirring. Thinking through the day, thinking about what I have to do etc etc etc
I’ve been much better lately as I’ve got back into running. I go for run, come home and drink lots of water then have a warm shower and I’m ready for bed. Exercise really does work.

I came to say rain sounds work for me too but I have them at a decent level too! Used to be only able to sleep in silence.

If I have particular worries I have to imagine it as a note and pin it on a noticeboard in my head but before I was able to do that I would jot it down as a little note in a notebook or on my phone.

I should’ve also said classical music is a wonderful way to unwind. Mozart solves all problems as does Rachmaninov.