How to quieten a busy mind at night?

[jaychops]

Busy mum of 2 primary aged children in my thirties, work 4 days a week in quite a stressful job at the moment. Usual manic evenings when coming home of reading, spellings, kids hobbies (lots of), baths, bedtimes etc etc. Very supportive and involved DH.

The issue is that when I'm trying to go to sleep, my mind is so active with thoughts, worries, conversations replaying over in my head. My mind is so 'busy' that I'm not truly relaxing and when I get to sleep it means I'm having vivid dreams. I've tried all the usual techniques to relax before bed, no TV or phone, reading a book etc but it's like my mind cannot stop being busy!

Any suggestions?

White Chestnut it’s a Bach Flower remedy

I listen to podcasts. Love “short history of” I find his voice really calming. And they are interesting, although I rarely make it to the end

Second nothing much happens

You could hum or sing ( in your head) to yourself

Even if it is the same like e over again eh Happy birthday etc

I find it stops the mind from going into thinking mode

A hot bath and use the time to let your mind gradually slow down. If it's to-do list then writing it down, notebook by bed for very busy periods.

I do breathing exercises, deep, slow breathing, and it often helps.
I'd it doesn't work I put a film on, one I don't care about, seen before..I use it in the same way as audio books..turn it right down, I'm usually asleep in minutes..the downside of that is watching a movie any other time I start dropping off! 😂
I have an internal audio that can replay conversations from 40 years ago, and I struggle to shut off. I know tv isn't the best, but the alternative is watching the clock go round.

Keep a soothing evening journal where you write down set things - nature observations, good things, reasons why tomorrow will be a good day, things you are grateful about.
Read a chapter of a familiar book / comfort read.
Have a set bedtime routine to establish a rhythm.

I like the sleep stories on the Calm app.

I like to imagine a vast house that I am going to build / decorate /make perfect. work slowly through each room thinking about the spatial layouts and sunlight etc. Something about imagining the sense of space and gentle movement is calming.

Nothing like any of the meditations but it works for me!

CBD oil (I have TRIP dream drops) and Goodrays CBD drinks are working for me. I have a drink and a few drops of oil about an hour before bed and it’s helped no end.

Watching crap TV....works everytime, the formula for me is that it needs a little element of interest to 'hook' me in (eg: ancient history, a weak drama series) lie on the sofa and before I know it, zzzzzzzzzzzz; then wake up uncomfortable and hastily make my way to bed for more zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Need an understanding DH of course and/or a TV (not laptop, phone, etc) with in your bedroom with a remote. I have had neither except now a grown ds still here and a little dog who ends up sleeping wherever I do, with a super-dog ability to awaken to attention at the slightest sound/movement whilst able to sleep emanating warmth if comfy enough.

Sleep is fucking fantastic.

Yoga nidra on YouTube

I listen to Dan Snows History Hit podcasts - literally 100s to choose from also enjoy one of his channels called Betwixt the sheets... it's a bit racy 😱.. but lost of fun. Things like the sex life of (insert famous historical character) great fun but I drop off usually before the end . Stops me thinking of annoying stuff..

Audio books work well for me. Set the timer for 30 mins and see how you get on with that. Counting backwards from 1000 etc never worked for me but I sometimes think of a category eg animals, flowers, cities etc, start with A then your next answer starts with the last letter of the one you thought of.
There are a few military methods on line to maybe have a look at.
I do feel for you though so good luck.

Yoga Nidra. I have very rarely stayed awake to turn off the device when playing one of James Reeves' tracks (there are a few on Youtube). And I sleep well either way.

I'm gradually trying to link this to other things in my day that help - a daily yoga practice, breathing, being as aware as I can be about caffeine use and the need for general self care. Baby steps though.

This app is fab. I'm sleeping better than ever before. There are quite a lot of sleep tracks

If you are an over thinker, this is the answer!

Listening to calming noises or meditation nonsense does not stop you wandering off to ‘what meetings have I got tomorrow….must remember a green jumper etc….etc’

Try listening to something you’re actually interested in, but that is not important (eg. Interview with a celebrity you like; true crime podcast, whatever….).

Hopefully this is enough to stop your own thoughts, but not enough to keep you awake. So you drift of listening to it, and in the morning you realise you only actually heard about the first 7 minutes 😂

I listen to Alexei Sayle, Strangers on a Train. Radio 4 BBC Sounds. Always helps me relax and eventually drift off.

As Shipspace suggests, similar to my TV suggestion, a little bit of interest to grab your thoughts and let your mind drift away.

Most of the other suggestions seem a bit 'Gwyneth P'.

I got soft headband type headphones off of Amazon and listen to the Nothing Much Happens podcast. I've always struggled with quietening my mind enough to go to sleep, but this combination has transformed me! I was reliant on sleep medication but now am asleep within 15 minutes.

I can relate however I actually bloody sing to myself when I'm not thinking of rubbish! It's ridiculous

I use a brown noise machine which helps

I use these and recommend them to others.

Wow so many amazing suggestions thankyou! I was trying not to read them all last night so I wasn't defeating the point of the post, ha, but I did try the orange noise and that really helped.

Some good suggestions of apps and podcasts too which I will be working my way through.

All the posters who use apps/podcasts/white noise etc, do you wear headphones in bed? The noise would drive my husband mad but I wouldn’t be able to sleep with earbuds in!

I sleep on one side so wear an earbud in the other side