How long after the start of a relationship to the first DV incident? In your knowledge.

[notknowledgeable]

I am asking because the adult daughter of a friend is telling me about an incident she witnessed last week at her mums house - the mother has been in a relationship for about 14 years, I think, and has told her daughter that this was the first time...

is that likely? What do you think? Could it start after so long without violence? In my limited and second hand experience DV has always started within 2 years.

who cares?

Why is your focus that and not on what a friend has told you she witnessed

I would have thought that was obvious, but if you cant see it I cant be bothered to spell it out to you

I think the mum is lying, and I think you suspect this too.

Sometimes it starts in really subtle ways. It's not just physical violence and that can come much later.

There's a chance that other factors have led to the violence.

Or yes, they might be lying.

how would your response differ?