bit woo- but have you ever met anyone you have felt scared of for no reason?

[crochetmonkey74]

I'm fascinated by stories like this- when you meet someone and they don't necessarily do anything - more that you just feel scared- intuition etc

I'm nearly 50 and it's happened once very strongly (was justified I later came to find out) and once not as strongly - so it's not a regular occurrence, but stories like this really interest me

This is it. They're hard-wired instincts, and our unconscious workings piece them together so quickly we're not necessarily even aware of undergoing that process.

A PP mentioned growing up in a traumatic environment (my commiserations, me too) having really sharpened those survival instincts for her. I had the opposite experience. Because far from my trauma fine-tuning those danger signals, until I was well into adulthood mine were non-existent. What was this 'gut instinct' people spoke of? I had no experience of it.

My therapist had a theory about this one, too. You can't live in a perpetual state of fight, flight, freeze or fawn for any long duration. It would exhaust you and you'd be wholly unable to cope. Also, those instincts would be of no earthly use to you if you were living in a state of heightened awareness all the time.

So those instincts repress themselves. They switch off. For a reasonably sensible person I got myself into some ridiculously risky situations as a teenager and young adult. I was a constant source of worry to my poor mum.

I was diagnosed with cPTSD in my late thirties and had EMDR therapy: a real game-changer that's given back to me a life I never fully realised I'd 'lost' in the first place. It altered the holistic picture of my adult interactions, stopped me being a people pleaser and a 'yes' person amonst other more fundamental things. There were always things about myself that never added up: why a reasonably skilled communicator could be such a poor judge of character is a thing I frequently questioned about myself.

The therapy switched those instincts right back on. Imagine never having a gut instinct at all, then suddenly discovering it when you're into your forties. It's been a real revelation, that's for certain. I know of no peer-reviewed research that could support a word I'm saying; I only know that as a trauma 'patient' this has been my first-hand experience. What the human mind is capable of doing is a constant well of amazement: we really are fascinating animals.

A distant relative of DH came to visit when I’d had a baby, no present, Just turned up unannounced.
other than having to invite him to our wedding, I’d never seen him.
It felt really strange so I went to DH, who was getting ready for work, and told him under no circumstances was he to leave him with me. DH had to be quite forceful to get him out, and we never saw him again. Very odd.

Yes, a friend and myself went for a drink in one of our local bars. It is the kind of bar that everyone knows everyone and helps each other out etc. One of the locals brought his new neighbour in and he started chatting to us about a City my friend and I were planning a trip to and he used to live there. He gave us loads of advice and was perfectly pleasant and ordinary but both of us really go a bad vibe off him.

A few weeks later he attacked his girlfriend who ran out of his house. It took the neighbour and his two sons all their might to pull him off her.

I volunteered at a day centre for people with MH issues, many people with complex needs. One of the men was just awful, he enjoyed speaking in a way to women that was too clever to get him banned but very close to the mark. He had a history of violence against women and he had also been in a high security MH hospital because he had attempted to kill someone. All of the service users were scared of him. He was true evil.

There was a woman who worked in another dept where I worked who was friends with my manager. So she would pop in to us occasionally, she was a short, nothing special and a quite under the radar perosn if you had passed her in the street. Well she made me feel awful truly terrible, my stomach would churn and I would feel nauseous when she was about. This is the strongest reaction I have ever had to a woman. Once when my manager was away I went along to represent my dept and she was in the meeting. It was about 1.5 hours long, I could not wait to get out of there. My colleague was concerned about me as I looked unwell and I admitted how this woman just made me so uncomfortable. My colleague revealed she felt exactly the same but like me had no idea why, it was quite a relief really.

I agree with the dog senses thing.
They DO pick up on your fear/anxiety and will act on it.

I used to have a couple of great danes (and a mini dachshund !) and when alone in the house i used to sometimes do this silly thing where i'd wait till they were all fast asleep lolling around the room and then sit up quietly in the chair and look around, all alert, and see how long it took before all 3 of them were sitting up looking round all alert as well (and doing that muffled woof). They always did join in really quickly. I wasn't making any sound. They maybe picked up on my breathing? I don't know. (i would always laugh and fuss them and give them a dog treat and they'd go back to sleep. I didn't keep them living in a state of high alert or anything).

One day, like the poster above, i was walking them off lead through the woods one eve (they had total recall) and they were somewhere off behind me buggering about together in the grass. I went round a corner and up ahead was a man in dark clothes crouching by the path. He saw me take a few steps but he didn't move. Then i stopped and he stood up and stood facing me. Put one hand in his pocket as if he was fiddling with himself or fishing out a knife or what ever. I hesitated, as if to turn around, and then he started walking, almost running, towards me fast looking straight at me.

I sort of froze, but suddenly my usually perfectly daft danes arrived out of no where. One stepped forward and stated growling with his hackles up. Then his brother (usually afraid of even the postman ect) joined him baring his teeth. Neither dog ran at him, they stayed right by me, but the guy stopped, turned and jogged away (not surprised). I was so grateful to my dogs that evening. I never heard them growl before! The weird thing is that they wouldn't have been able to think 'dark clothes, fiddling in pocket, walking fast - must be dodgy'. It must have been my fear they sensed.

Yes twice - an old man who used to be around my neighbourhood when I was a kid, terrified me in a way no other random adult had. And now as an adult, a local man who walks his dog and always engages me- even from across the street. I feel a visceral dislike for him, he gives me goosebumps and I just recoil from him. I would do pretty much anything to avoid face to face contact

Yes! I feel this. David Williams yes but Rita Ora has always made me feel like she’s sinister but I couldn’t say why.

And I found it suspicious that she had like one song and became an Xfactor judge?

A man who worked in my local garage used to raise the hackles on my neck. I couldn’t tell you why. I would avoid going in there if he was working. The next nearest garage was several miles away but I’d rather go the extra distance.

Luckily I moved so for years didn’t have to deal with him, but recently revisited the area and saw him still working there. Still gives me chills.

I used to walk past the Crossbow Cannibal when on my lunch break at work. Workmates used to joke he was ‘one of my lot’ (goth). He gave me the creeps, to the point that I used to walk on the opposite side of the road if I was on my own. It was on the local news radio as I drove into work and I just knew it was him.

Not me, but a friend who got very bad vibes from her friend’s adult son. I’d hardly ever even seen him, so didn’t think much about it - until several years later, when we found out that he’d been banged up for a good long stretch, for some particularly nasty paedophile offences.

Me and my husband were sat opposite a man on a train once. when we got off we were both like, there’s something really strange about that man. We had both come up with plans in our heads about what we would do if attacked us. Both plans involved coffee cups😂. There’s was nothing really about him that we could put our fingers in, just a really off ‘vibe’ about him. We’re not usually like this, and we’ve travelled through some seriously difficult dodgy parts of the world.

I have had feelings about people/ places. I always listen to it and don't tell myself get over it you're a big girl. I travelled alone for a few years and if I had a 'feeling of woo' I used to go into a shop and get a drink, once a man I though who had been tailing me did follow but I just out waited him. Nothing evil as such I'm just fairly certain he wanted to rob me.

The only sort of example I can remember though was a job interview. It was for a good chunk more than I was currently on. But everything said don't work here. When I declined the job they offered even more money but I wouldn't work for them. Nothing awful but I did later find out that they treated staff terribly and many left after a short while.

Pps have mentioned David Walliams, Jimmy Carr and Ricky Gervais. I think this is because they all have a haughty superiority complex and give off an air of simmering hatred. All seem as though they would cut you dead in an instant.
With Walliams it goes deeper, and, like a pp said, I am just waiting for the documentary to come out.
Same applies to Russell Brand, for obvious reasons (and there HAS been a documentary).
I feel it a bit with Stephen Mulhern, to a lesser extent.

I saw someone once.

My spidey senses knew something was wrong. So I walked away.

Phew, that was a lucky escape!

Would you mind talking more about emdr? Like how it worked for you, how many sessions? Do you need to KNOW what traumatic events you’ve had or does it help discover them? Thinks like that?

only if you’re able to of course no worries if not

Yes. The most recent is my sisters current boyfriend. I met him one morning when at my parents (knew nothing about him until then). We exchanged pleasantries etc but when I got home I told my husband that something felt off about him. A few nights later at around 3am I woke up in a cold sweat with the most awful feeling of dread about him. So powerful. I knew I needed to warn my sister but I had absolutely nothing to go on, thought I was being ridiculous so left it. Joked with my husband the next day that he seems nice enough but is probably an abuser. This was all in November. On Christmas Day, my mum couldn’t keep quiet anymore that she just could not bear for this man to be in her house - she normally loves everyone (sister lives with her). Told us that apparently he had recently got out of jail for drug related charges. News to us!! My husband then googled him and alas!! It was a lie (that’s what my sister told my mum). He’d just got out of jail after 3 years for beating up his ex girlfriend and controlling behaviour. Also banned from seeing his child.

My sister, a normally intelligent woman with her own young child, knew all this but hadn’t told us. He’s spun her a line that he was the victim and she believed him. She’s now not talking to any of us. It’s such a bad situation and I just know what’s coming 😢.

The optician who did part of my last eye test.

On the surface, nothing was wrong - he said nothing unexpected, did nothing out of the ordinary - but as soon as I stepped in the room (it was just us 2), it was like every alarm bell in my body was going off and was telling me to get out. Naturally, I didn’t leave and went through the test answering questions as quickly as I could

When it came to the second part of my test, with different man and in a different room, alone again, I felt completely at ease. I cried on my way home because of how I felt with that first man, but I didn’t tell anyone about it because I felt stupid causing a fuss over gut instinct. I felt like it was looming over me for the rest of the day.

When it’s time for my next check I will see if I can request a particular optician, and hopefully avoid seeing that man ever again.

Once I was with H and BIL, we drove to look at a boat launch BIL knew about that H & I might use. There were a couple men there just doing whatever, nothing at all suspicious in their activity.

I remember looking at them and my skin crawled and I thought that heinous crimes often do happen in broad daylight and was so happy I wasn't alone. H & BIL didn't seem to even clock them but I couldn't get away fast enough. I still feel icky thinking about that day.

This is chilling

Yes, this, lots of (most?) fox hunters are also sadistic murderers and serial killers.

I very briefly dated someone in my twenties, this guy gave me the worst bad vibes, super good looking he never abused me in any manner but my "creep alarm bells" kept ringing loud. I broke with him after two months and never heard from him. 10 years later his mug shot was in the cover of all major newspapers for kidnapping and torturing a young woman. It felt quite surreal. My gut feeling is always right, my logic not so much 😂

”Certain areas of the country” just sounds snobbish.

A few years ago my husband was reading his newspaper, I glanced across and my eyes fell onto a picture of a man. A massive shiver went down my spine and I said oh heck who’s that? He looks awful, really sinister. It was Harvey Weinstein. I had honestly never seen or heard of him at the time, this was before everything came out

Yes - years ago looking at childminders for ds3. Started with one who was perfect on paper. After a few sessions I just felt something was off so cancelled. A few years later she turned up on the local paper - had been picked up by police driving her mindees around absolutely plastered. So not quite Rose West levels but still spidey senses tingling.

Equally though I have very very occasionally met people who I instantly like and trust - just that connection right from the beginning. It’s very rare but quite noticeable when it happens.

Apparently its a thing, its due to air quality/density and occurs in deep valleys and spa towns. Loads of people just feel 'hell no' about Bath.