As a single woman, what sort of things do you take yourself out to do that your friends usually do with their DH/DP?

[BellaJoob]

I feel I'm missing out being long term single. Am also a single parent, but have some free time to myself.

More often than not, friends are tied up with their DH/DP or simply not interested in the same things as I am. Currently trying to extend my social group.

Holiday alone
When in 30s back packed but now it's driving/ hotels alone for holidays , in my 50s for hols (UK) (not like package or sightseeing arranged stuff.. couldn't bear that.. )
Shopping is always alone as I can't bear it with others

I would say I really do everything alone, apart from restaurant (cafe is fine though)

Second hand bookshop perusing
Swimming
Gym class
Cinema
Theatre
Walks in the country - I go fairly remote & refuse to let fear stop me

I definitely relate to this. When I was with my ex dp I enjoyed doing things alone from time to time - meal out if I was working away for example. Now that I am single I don’t enjoy solo activities as much (apart from walking/gym) not because I feel awkward or care about what other people think, but because I feel lonely doing things I’d prefer to be doing with a partner or friend.

Costa - alternate Sunday mornings.

Cinema last Saturday.

Morning stroll in summer.

Occasional meal when my daughter is away and I don’t fancy cooking.

The pub by the dance studio is much warmer than my car, so I go there sometimes when waiting (perfect MN time).

I am wondering what kind of place you live in? I'm a very feminine woman, present in a feminine way, have an undoubtedly female body (and I'm also not white, for additional potential reasons to be picked on and to be stereotyped) but I can honestly say a pub is not somewhere I generally feel the woes of the patriarchy. I've sat and stood in them alone, I've bought and drunk drinks alone, I've watched sports alone in pubs, and at sporting venues. And generally I'm left to myself or might have some people engage with me in a friendly way (not even trying to hit on me or be creepy). I'm in London though, and I wonder if it's different in different types of places.

Well, this has taken a bizarre turn.

I am female.
Last time I went to watch football, arriving and leaving on my own, was today, as it happens.

I can guarantee you've never been out alone in the general public.

What on earth are you talking about ?

How do you have a clue what I understand about femininity / masculinity ?

I lived abroad in my early 20s for a year and that was a horror show for being a woman on your own. Creepy men pounced on me everywhere from the bus, to the shopping centre, to across the tracks on the metro... And always in an aggressive, insulting and intimidating way. Maybe that made UK culture seem positively chivalrous to me.

Bars overseas were as welcoming to me, the plan woman, as UK pubs though! The barmen always looked after me. And I think my first ever solo cinema trip was in France when I had no friends.

I'm not single but I have a dh who can't be arsed going out. I've got friends who have similar dps and single friends. I get to do lots of stuff with friends.
I'm surprised you haven't found similar.

I'm also happy to go cinema, museums, exhibitions, coffee shops and cafes by myself.
I go cycling and joined an ice skating course once which was fun.

@BellaJoob
Ok you lost me when you started going on about gender and being non conforming.

I've been single a long time, I've done most things that have been mentioned on this thread, on my own, year after year. The only thing I don't do is go to the pub for a pint- because I don't drink very much. I've no problem going to a pub for a meal and a glass of wine.

I don't consider myself gender non conforming or some wiered gender no one talks about it ( whatever that is) . I'm just a woman living my life.

Weird post. Makes no sense to me now

I go yoga , to the open air pool , shopping , to a wedding by myself .. I love it .. a man wouldn't think twice so why do we 🤷🏻‍♀️

You can't speak to anyone during a cinema or theatre show, so it actually makes more sense to go alone.

I've got into a couple of restaurants alone when couples were being turned away, and I feel no guilt about eating in a restaurant - I am not a lesser person because I'm on my own.

It's definitely easier going round museums and galleries on your own - you can focus on the stuff which interests you without feeling you have to hurry in case you're boring others.

I've always gone to evening and exercise classes by myself. The only one which was a bit more awkward was ballroom dancing.

I've travelled half the world- now always slone, as I joined some group things, but I started alone, even if I made friends along the way.

If I put off doing things because I was on my own, I'd have achieved nothing at all in life.

Singlemum 53, I go to the gym pool, alone ,..
I go to lectures/ cinema alone.
Tripsto London to meet friends.
Walking group.
Political campaign group

All of these are things I would do alone anyway even though I have a DP

Some men do think twice. A former colleague thought I was utterly amazing because I go on holiday alone. He would just not go away rather than go by himself. I know other men who haven't done evening classes because they were nervous of being alone. The difference is, in most cases they'd never tell a wider audience. (I didn't mind them telling me about stuff they wouldn't do alone; less keen on hearing about their affairs and stuff, but I seem to be someone people talk to.)

All these things mentioned like yoga, gym class, swimming, shopping are all things you would do alone anyway

I bloody love doing things on my own. Cycle to town, watch a film, have a pint, go to museums, watch the water in the harbour, go for noodles. Travelled on my own, had a great time.
You really notice all the miserable couples.

I am married but my DH isn't really interested in similar hobbies. Things I do by myself - hikes, seeing bands, comedy shows, movies and political protests.

Particularly like seeing bands and comedy shows solo. Nothing worse than when you drag someone else along and they don't like it - awkward. Or maybe worse, they love it but you hate it and want to leave. Solo is best.

I do everything on my own except walking in the countryside. I know it’s irrational because it’s probably safer there than in the city! I would love to feel safe enough to do it but I don’t.
The other thing I would love to do is go to Ladies Day at Ascot but you don’t see women doing that on their own and I think it would feel awkward.
Apart from that I do everything. Holidays, restaurants, pubs, opera, cinema, theatre, shopping etc etc.

@WantOutOfRatRace

What kind of meals/restaurants are good for going solo to?

What kind of meals/restaurants are good for going solo to?

Any.

Last week I had a £10 voucher to use at a Wildwood restaurant so I booked myself in for dinner. I ordered myself soup, steak and cheesecake and had a lovely and indulgent meal.

I swim, I go to craft groups, go to the cinema in the day by myself, go to a cafe or pub for my lunch. I don't drink alcohol so I'm not bothered about going out out.
Sometimes I get a train to a different city and have a walk round the museum and galleries etc.

Everything I love going for a holiday on my own

the only time I have really felt I didn’t enjoy it becuase I was alone was when I went to a concert

I don’t drink in pubs alone but I never drink alone unless having a meal

One thing I’ve done a few times is get on the first bus that comes, travelling to the end of the route, catching another one from there & just seeing where I end up. I’m in London which does make that a lot easier, but I’ve found myself in some interesting places.

OP, the thread about safe spaces for gender non conforming women sounds as if it would suit you.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4990331-is-there-a-threadsub-section-for-gender-non-conforming-women?reply=132418664

The only thing I do with DH and not other people is have sex and parent. Obviously not at the same time but one did lead to the other.