As a single woman, what sort of things do you take yourself out to do that your friends usually do with their DH/DP?

[BellaJoob]

I feel I'm missing out being long term single. Am also a single parent, but have some free time to myself.

More often than not, friends are tied up with their DH/DP or simply not interested in the same things as I am. Currently trying to extend my social group.

Anything 🤷🏻‍♀️ I've been single for more of my life than attached. Travelled halfway around the world by myself, I go to restaurants, theatres, gyms, gigs, cinemas, classes, pubs, whatever I want. The only real inconvenience I've encountered is on beaches - I have to trust someone else to watch my stuff or find a cafe/bar/vendor willing to stash a bag.

You meet a lot more people when you're on your own. Obviously you don't have to engage with strangers but I enjoy the variety of human life, so it's a bonus for me. If you want to be left alone, getting immersed in a book or your phone does the trick.

My advice is to start small with a café and a museum or gallery.

I've got a partner but we do often do our own thing so no different to if I was single.

I'm involved in women's rights, politics and local environmental groups. DP holds broadly similar beliefs but isn't interested in getting actively involved.

I'm also in a book club (dp isn't a reader) and enjoy going to the theatre, museums and galleries. I don't have friends with similar interests but am happy to go on my own.

I think that you are underestimating the number of married people who are quite happy to do things with friends rather than their dp / dh.

I've been married a long time but we often go out to do things without one another - no point in paying for a ticket to the theatre or a sports event for two, if only one of us wants to go. The one that wants to go will go with friends or go on their own.

The cinema
Restaurants
Cafés
Concerts
Theatre
Travelling
Hikes

Etc., etc.

I am a single woman. I do these things together with friends or family too, but I do a lot of things on my own. I have a lot of fun! Can't spend my life sitting around waiting.

Good luck, OP!

Being alone, my specialist subject!

Definitely get out there and enjoy things and try things. You'll stop thinking "I'm alone and it's weird" very quickly.

Cinema, theatre and gigs. I've been going to these alone so long that other people get on my nerves a bit if they join me now!

I've also been to a few TV filming/radio recording things, if you live near a studio and this might interest you it's a fun and free way to spend a few hours.

I went to the races followed by a gig in the grounds a few years ago. The races bit felt a bit weird initially, mainly because I'd never been before and didn't have a clue what to do, but once I got talking to some of the betting guys and understood what was happening I had great fun.

If there's an exhibition I really want to see, then a gallery or theatre.

Classes, normally dance but occasionally a fitness session for something I've never tried, or a workshop.

I'd eat at, say, a burrito bar or a tea and cake place or something alone. But unlikely a restaurant with table service, not because I wouldn't enjoy it, but I'd feel bad about taking up a table unless it was deadly quiet.

I've also been on UK and overseas trips alone and it was mostly bliss (but can be expensive, of course),.

There are few things I find more relaxing tha wandering through a city on my own listening to some music, I love it.

@WinterSnowFox If your children are still young and you have no free time, I can understand that. My children and I still enjoy doing lots together, but I do not base my whole social self around family activities and events. And while cinema and dining out are can be fun social events, I don't agree that they can only be enjoyed as a group.

@BellaJoob going to the pub on a normal evening would be fine. I meant intimidating when the football is on, not a crowd I'm comfortable in. But that would be true alone or with someone. I hated going with my ex.

I have lots of friends to do things with but we tend to do things of interest to both of us, whereas maybe you can persuade a partner to do something that just you're interested in if you want some company because they're more likely to be invested in doing things that make you happy even if they're not that bothered. Or there's stuff like I go and visit the city that DD is in for a couple of nights, I spend a bit of time with DD and do things myself a bit too, I can imagine a partner coming with me but it's not really the sort of thing I'd take a friend on, it's unstructured time with no particular plans, and I don't want to be negotiating what to do with somebody else or feeling we have to do anything particular, or maybe even sharing a room for 48 hours.

I'll go to a trip out to another town or city and mooch around, have lunch out by myself, have a day out birdwatching, very occasionally go to the cinema, I had a few nights by the seaside last year. I've not been to concerts or the theatre by myself, although I was wondering about getting tickets for a theatre show where there seem to only be single tickets left (I think you should get a discount for taking one the remaining few single tickets!) I think I feel more confident going to events on my own where I'm somewhere where nobody knows me, I know I shouldn't be, but I think I would feel a bit embarrassed about being on my own if I bumped into people I knew. I do actually like doing things on my own, it would often be my preference. Nearly all of my friends are in relationships and I do feel excluded from some things because I am single.

I wouldn’t want to eat alone but I’m definitely a solo cinema goer - films stay on for such a short time I miss them if I don’t go alone 😄

I've been in pubs on my own a fair bit, even in the rough part of London where I live, and mostly it's fine. I (maybe subconsciously and instinctively) usually sit near the bar which maybe helps, but I've rarely had any hassle. When it comes to pubs and bars, I find I get more hassle when I'm out in a group than as a lone woman.

That's a fair point @jay55 It's good to get out of your comfort zone, in order to grow as a person, though not to feel uneasy or unsafe in your surroundings. If that makes sense.

I'm in a similar position to you OP. I have a boyfriend but we see each other sporadically and although I have lots of friends, loads of them are difficult to drag away from their partners. Things I enjoy doing alone are cinema, walks, coffee shops, gluttonous takeaways (in lieu of dining out), drives, shopping, theatre. I've done the odd glass of wine in a bar with a book too and can say with absolute certainty that any discomfort I felt was down to me and not anyone else. Honestly I think you can do anything alone, nobody pays attention. Especially now I'm middle aged.

I don't love dining alone yet but enjoy taking DS out for dinner to restaurants of my choice. I don't get drunk but will enjoy a cocktail or a glass of wine.

except for two one year relationships, I have been single all my life (almost 40). no plans to start looking for anyone. After uni, friends moved away or got slowly busier with their own lives (as expected). I still see friends now and then but love my solo travels and days put. I do everything from nice dinners, theatres, shows, movies, museums, long haul trips soli and just enjoy doing things at my own pace. it helps that I love reading and painting which doesn't require others. maybe start with day trips locally when you have free time. there are great fb groups on female solo travel.

Another one for going to the cinema alone. The last film I saw right before lockdown I watched on my own. It was one I'd really wanted to see and had a week off. So glad I did it as I didn't know we would soon be in lockdown and it ended up being months before I could see anything again.

I'm not single but I happily eat out or drink out on my own especially when working away or when DH isn't free.

I dgaf if others judge me, and enjoy it.

If you enjoy the cinema it's worth getting an Odeon membership or similar, especially if you tend to have free time on weekdays. I had one in the dark days of 2021 when there was nothing else to do, and I saw loads of films, sometimes two or three in a day. Great for when the weather was rubbish. Sometimes I had the whole cinema screen to myself, a cup of tea and a galaxy ripple. Heaven!

The cinema, theatres, restaurants, holidays, art galleries, most things really. There are very few activities for which another person is essential. I have done all of those things alone and enjoyed them just as much.

Definitely get out there and enjoy things and try things. You'll stop thinking "I'm alone and it's weird" very quickly.

@AprilDecember It's my aim this year. Art exhibitions, gigs, a weekend away...alone. And will be taking up more social events to find more likeminded individuals and groups.

I go to groups that feed my hobbies. In the past I’ve joined coding clubs, creative writing groups, poetry groups, sewing groups. I usually browse eventbrite. I attend talks and have met new like minded people that way too.

I have friends that are constantly doing stuff or that have businesses and side hustles so there is always a social event to attend as a supporter.

As a lone parent my weekends belong to me and DD so we usually go out. Museum, workshops, a restaurant, a walk to a local cafe, city farm.

Whereas I do events etc during the week on a Thursday or Friday as I can leave DD with family in the eve.

Cinema
Theatre
Concerts
Out for brunch or dinner
City breaks
Travelling
Exhibitions I want to see
Coffee dates

Cinema
Art galleries
Long hikes
Music festivals
Music gigs
Arty-farty lectures
Holidays

Oddly, not restaurants. I don't have a rule about this, just haven't done it in the seven years I've been widowed, so some inhibition there clearly. I will change that.

I go away camping in my van and do massive hikes. Cannot wait til spring!!

I can't believe the couple of people who said they don't do anything. I feel so sorry for them.

@echt

i can't believe it has been 7 years!! Covid has really warped my sense of time passing!

@BellaJoob

pre covid I travelled a lot & was happy to go to the movies by myself. I'm quite vulnerable wrt Covid and there haven't been any films that have made me happy to take the covid risk

I'm happiest doing most things by myself so I can do what I want, when I want, without worrying about the impact on anyone else.

im happy to go to cafes, pubs, by myself, but I'm not keen on going to a 'nice' restaurant at night by myself, that feels too 'couply'

I was a bit reluctant to go to the theatre by myself but tried it a couple of years ago and realised it's absolutely fine. I now go pretty often, and prefer it as I can get last minute cheap tickets.

For many years I have gone for walks, shopping, cafes, holidays, galleries by myself, see no issue with it at all. The two things I don't enjoy alone are restaurants (unless very empty) and pubs, so I just don't do them.

I would have missed out on so much if I hadn't just decided to suit myself and do things that interest me.