Son passed his driving test - anxious

[Iwannabeacrocodilehunter]

I’m so happy for my son. He passed his driving test today and is so excited. I’m also extremely anxious.

He’s very confident driving. Drove me around this evening and whilst he doesn’t speed per se, he does drive quite fast. Well, faster than I do (although I am the sort who never exceeds 55mph on a motorway, and has been called ‘driving Miss Daisy’ in the past).

As I said, he’s very confident, on and off the dual carriageway, country lanes etc and I just feel so worried. He’s taking the car out tomorrow on his own. Has promised me he won’t drive fast.

Anyone any advice for me??

If anything you sound like the dangerous driver, not him! 55 mph on a motorway makes you a hazard to other drivers, you’re basically asking to get rear ended

If you never drive over 55 on a motorway, you are an absolute hazard and need to stop driving on them if you can't manage it.

As for your son, excessive speed kills and if he is overconfident, that's a dangerous mix. How old is he?

Does he drive quite fast in comparison to you but still under the speed limit?
Driving 55 on a motorway will cause an accident.

I agree with PP you are an absolute hazard on the motorway if you stick to 55 that's so dangerous. I hope you rarely drive

I suggest OP that you never get in the car with your DS again because I can just envision you gasping and making all sorts it idiotic noises and comments which will in turn cause a catastrophic accident one day

OMG 55mph on a motorway!! How have you not caused a crash? It’s so frustrating when people do this and so dangerous.
Please stop it OP or keep off motorways, ypu are going to be the death of someone.. literally.

Mine has to do motorway driving to get to work and back every day so we all have 360 App to track and keep an eye out. Not to spy, but for peace of mind for times like -2 degree weather and treacherous conditions.
It means I don’t have to anxiously wait for a text telling me that they have arrived ok.
Was especially good when first passing driving test.

my daughter was the same - she had an accident within 3 months of
passing her test ( very common) which cured her over confidence. Don't drive on a motorway at 55!

You are the liability here - 55 on a motorway - you are taking the piss!

Whilst over confidence can be an issue. Being confident I.e. not hesitant is actually good. Means he understands the road rules and how to drive the car correctly. There is nothing with travelling at the speed limit, unless the conditions are unsuitable like heavy rains or snow, etc.

55 on a motorway, ffs please hand your licence over!! Maybe you’re better being a passenger in your son’s car.

Is he actually driving over the speed limits? Or just faster than you? As others have said driving too slowly is just as dangerous as too fast.
Does he have to have one of those black box things in the car for his insurance? I know lots of teenagers do and it seems to help to keep them sensible.

Why are you driving at 55 mph on the motorway?

I’ve had three teens pass their tests since 2020! No accidents yet!!
My advice would be, get a black box and a dash cam. I told my kids it was a non negotiable part of the insurance. I explained the black box also measures acceleration and braking, not just top speed. I show them the monthly report that comes through. I’ve also said how proud I am that they’ve passed and they now have to show maturity on the roads or the privelage will be taken away.
The OP was asking about advice for keeping her son safe. Not a pile on about her own driving habits!

Tell him not to be over confident, ever. I've been driving nearly 30 years and some twat last week came barreling towards me on the wrong side of the road. There was raised concrete between the two sides of the road, so it was not a question of simply going back to their own side. I had to stop dead. Whilst twat continued driving and swerved like a maniac.

And if you do 55 on the motorway, you probably need to not use motorways. That is quite hazardous, particular as you will be forcing HGVs to repeatedly lane change in order to overtake you.

If cautious driving was so dangerous in comparison to confident newly qualified drivers we'd see this reflected in insurance premiums.

Young drivers can get discounts for agreeing not to drive at night or to carry more than one passenger etc because these are actuarial risks.

If my son was nqd and driving fast with his mother in the car, I'd be petrified about him driving with friends, for statistically blindingly obvious reasons.

It is scary when they pass. Does your car have a black box? Although I don’t really like them, they do have their advantages, my daughter had one for 2 years and it did mean she never speeded because the app would give her a warning and she would lose her reward. Although it monitors everyone driving the car, so when the mechanic was speeding it nearly cancel her insurance.

Motorways are 50% articulated lorries these days and they all drive at 55mph without other drivers rear-ending them. I’m not confident driving on motorways so I’ll usually just sit behind a lorry.

I’m hoping you are exaggerating with the not going above 55 on a motorway.

Both of my DC have passed their test within the last two and a bit years. I was quite nervous when both of them went out for the first (and a number of subsequent) times but that’s why they’ve learned to drive and passed their test so they can drive. We have to let them go (and sometimes it’s useful when they give us lifts!)

This might sound like a daft question but have you told the insurance company that he's passed?

Please tell me you don't keep in the middle lane too?
55 on a motorway.. if you are too scared to go any faster then you should not be driving on a motorway...and if you're one of those drivers holding people up on county lanes too.. then please give up driving..
Your son is not the problem here I'm afraid..

I get the anxiety. It worried me more when their friends started passing their test and driving them about. I made the mistake of checking one of them on Life 360 (not stalking, just an ap we use as a family) and saw their friend was driving at 90mh. I won't make that mistake again! I think your level of driving anxiety is extreme, and perhaps you need to take more driving lessons to get your confidence up. It wouldn't be a bad idea for you to buy your ds some advanced driving lessons for safety and peace of mind.

Yes, she didn’t ask about her own driving but she can hardly criticise her son’s driving when hers is likely more dangerous

How exactly is driving below the speed limit dangerous? The highway code says to drop speed for hazards but it never says to add speed.

@MorrisZapp 55 mph is considerably slower than other drivers on a motorway, making it hazardous. Hesitant drivers = dangerous drivers

But statistically that’s unlikely