Son passed his driving test - anxious

[Iwannabeacrocodilehunter]

I’m so happy for my son. He passed his driving test today and is so excited. I’m also extremely anxious.

He’s very confident driving. Drove me around this evening and whilst he doesn’t speed per se, he does drive quite fast. Well, faster than I do (although I am the sort who never exceeds 55mph on a motorway, and has been called ‘driving Miss Daisy’ in the past).

As I said, he’s very confident, on and off the dual carriageway, country lanes etc and I just feel so worried. He’s taking the car out tomorrow on his own. Has promised me he won’t drive fast.

Anyone any advice for me??

I have to agree it's utterly terrifying when DC start driving. My DS1 was too confident for my liking, statistics on accidents with young drivers are scary as are anecdotal tales from local knowledge. DS2 was altogether more cautious though not necessarily a better driver.

I did the best I could to ensure safety. I paid for some post test driving lessons on motorways. I made a rule that he wasn't allowed to take passengers until he had a year of driving under his belt. Obviously you can't enforce that but we had a good relationship and he complied. I also refused to let them take lifts with fellow young drivers - this meant extending my taxi duties for a while. We live rurally with no bus service.

This was ten years ago and I'm happy to say he's a better driver than I ever was though still drives faster than I like.

@Iwannabeacrocodilehunter ignore the sanctimonious speeders on here. It's twats that speed on motorways that cause accidents
I was very nervous for a couple of months after my son passed his test. He's got a black box so has to drive sensibly.

@Iwannabeacrocodilehunter good luck OP! Mine is only 14 at the moment but I dread that day. I hope the black box and commensurate reduction in insurance keeps a lid on any crazy driving he’s tempted to do 🥰

I get it. The only thing that frightens me more than the thought of DD starting driving, is the thought of DD being a passenger in a car of someone who has just started driving.

You’re more of a hazard than your son is.

My mum who has never driven, and is a nervous passenger, went out with a friend in her car. She was absolutely full of what a marvellous driver her friend was never going over 50 mph on the dual carriageway.
She couldn't grasp that her friend was causing a serious hazard, with HGVs trying to pass her in lane 2 and traffic building up behind.

Ok. But what’s that got to do with me? That doesn’t even answer my original post.

You’ve made assumptions, which are wrong.

🤦‍♀️

You're more dangerous than him

Not much you can do really. They are out on their own when they can drive. I like to think both parents have taught a good example of driving whilst they were growing up and watching ie no tailgating, no speeding, driving to conditions, etc.

Is he driving his own car or yours?

If yours, I’d recommend what a Dsis told nephew after he passed. The slightest little scratch or any incident at all, and that’s it - no excuses - you don’t drive my car any more. (It worked.)

If his, and you’re paying for insurance/servicing/anything else, I’d say as above - anything at all and I won’t be paying any more.

I'd set some conditions for him: he drives by himself for now, no mates in the car, until I was SURE he'd be safe and not show off.

Tell him some stats about young men and driving accidents to scare him a bit and make him slow down.

My dd is 20 now, and the number of her mates who have had accidents is just horrendous. Two of her acquaintances have died in car crashes.

Many young people - esp men. - are too confident.

Good luck!

Limit the number of people he can have in the car. Having a very full car changes the way it handles. Make sure he only has one passenger until he is more experienced.

What absolute total fucking nonsense 🙄

CreateHope · Today 23:33

MrsSkylerWhite · Today 17:08

You’re more of a hazard than your son is.

What absolute total fucking nonsense 🙄”

Why? Anyone too nervous to drive beyond 55mph on a UK motorway should consider whether they are mentally fit to drive .