Why would a 20-something not want to house share with a 50-something

[peanutbutterkid]

Post divorce I'm looking to rent a room in a shared property until I'm ready to buy (late summer at earliest). A lot of the adverts (SpareRoom) have a suggested upper age limit of 40 or 45, well below my age.

I don't want to live in a true student/undergrads or party house, but I reckon I could rub along fine with working 20- or 30- or 40-somethings. I have adult kids I know what they care about & do & think about. I was thinking maybe I could get considered for more properties if I can figure out what is supposed to be incompatible about my age & theirs, and I can prove that assumption wrong.

Any ideas what they preceive the incompatibility to be ?

ps: I went to see a flat share today & really didn't like it. Nice enough lady to share with but kind of woo & hyper-introverted. I couldn't imagine ever having a laugh with her.

I think it's just that most 30 plus single people I know can afford to at least rent a place on their own if their relationship breaks down, so it would be assumed anyone needing to house share at that age is very financially precarious?

(I mean personally I think its a sensible decision by op, as I always hated spending a penny more than I needed to on rent , but I think it will be assumptions about the type of person who needs to house share in their 50s rather than ageism per se)

Generally when people house share with randoms it's because they have moved to a new city, and so I guess are probably hoping that house sharing will be a way to meet new friends?

How about Cohabitas

https://cohabitas.com/

for slightly more 'mature' people who actually want to share

Shes only doing it until shes ready to buy. I'd do the same. Because short term rentals dont exist, minimum 6 month lease, not helpful when you know you need 3 or 4 months.
Plus houseshare is cheaper.

I dont understand why OP isnt just finding a reasonable place and sucking it up. It's very short term.

You know some very lucky thirty year olds!

Did you read the original post which prompted the exchange? It was hilarious , bizarre and ageist in equal measures

This.

@Guavafish1

'I think older people will

complain a lot
tend to do things on their own/set in their way
Don't share
There a real risk they won't pay the rent
Wont want to socialise like a 20 -30 year I.e. party's, people staying over etc etc
Might get ill'

No wonder we have an ageist society wit this type of mind-glowingly ignorant comments...

You really need to grow the hell up.

I'm in!

I was thinking this! I don’t know many women who use ‘gals’ to describe themselves.

@TheYearOfSmallThings As long as I can be Dorothy.

Ha ha that name made me think of Dignitas!

Christ it's bad enough sharing with my 20 something DDs ..... I wouldn't choose a house share with this age group. They're great fun, I love their company, but we live on totally different time zones and they're messy! Don't seem to see the trail of crap they've left behind ....

Shes only doing it until shes ready to buy. I'd do the same. Because short term rentals dont exist, minimum 6 month lease, not helpful when you know you need 3 or 4 months.

I dont understand why OP isnt just finding a reasonable place and sucking it up. It's very short term.

We don't actually know if the OP is male or female. Someone so desperate to party with younger people sounds to me like a sex pest or an alcoholic to me. Or both.

Of course the OP maybe neither of those things and is simply wanting some post divorce fun. But why not hold the partying and focus on saving as hard and as fast as possible to get your own place?

If someone has stated what they are comfortable with I really don’t think it’s your place to go about trying to prove them wrong. The fact that you think you should or could maybe points to you being incompatible with sharing with others too

OK, I'll have to be Rose then because I don't have the chutzpah for Blanche or the moxy for Sophia.

I looked at lodging with an older landlord when I was in my 20s and his list of rules were insane. Now I’m older I can see why he had these but at the time I wasn’t interested in an older parent figure dictating how I lived, that’s why I moved away from home in the first place.

Also, mid week would be fine but weekends you’d be wanting a very different lifestyle. I have an older relative who has rented and lodged for years but always looks to lodge with people their age for this reason.

I once houseshared/lodged in my mid 20's with a woman in her mid 40's or so (there wasn't much available and going by the advert/my first meeting of her, we seemed like we'd get on well as I mostly keep to myself, am quite quiet etc).

Unfortunately it didn't end up working out that well - she didn't make cleaning duties clear at the start and expected me to do much more than her in terms of chores, despite pretty much staying in my room most of the time and hardly using the open-plan living room/kitchen where she was most of the time, so felt very uncomfortable using incase she judged what I was cooking.

I cooked something with cheese once and forgot to clean it out of the plug hole strainer and she got really upset at me, or god forbid I should not clean my very few dishes the same day (I was doing shift work at this time so was either working or sleeping pretty much), I'd soon hear about it from her. She a few times had relatives stay over with no warning, who used some of my bathroom stuff including my toothpaste without even asking. I was super considerate of her most of the time but she didn't seem to return the favour.

The straw that broke the camel's back was when she put the latch on the only door into the property, knowing I was on nights and not being able to get in to shower and sleep after finishing my last of 3 nights. There was a complete power imbalance and I moved out very soon after that as soon as I was able to. It was like living with an overbearing parent and I could never do that again.

It sounds like you're trying to re-live being 'young' and expecting a ready made social life with a bunch of 20/30 year olds. It's not going to work. However cool, hip and down with the young golf you think you are. You're not. You're 20/30 years older. Accept that then look for lodger type accommodation. You don't need to get on with the landlady/lord, it's for 6 months. Or just rent a studio/1 bed flat.

I think when you are in your 20’s 50 seems old. Youngsters are paying a lot to not live with their parents so probably don’t want to live with someone who is their parents age.

I wouldn't have wanted to live with a 50 something in my 20s. I'm 39 now and wouldn't care. But I wouldn't be looking to make friends if I had to move into shared accommodation. You can't guarantee you'll be friends with people you live with. I would look for friends elsewhere

There's a fair bit of ageism going on (no surprise there, sadly).

I have no experience OP, but I'm sure you will find the right home for you.

I do have a friend, who works in a relatively low paid vocational profession which she loves. In order to save for a deposit to buy alone in London, she saved for more than 15 years (from her mid-thirties) by living in flat shares, mostly with younger people. This had its irritations as she got older and new sharers got younger... but it was fine. And she achieved her goal of deposit/own flat in the end.

As @Whydosomanywomensleepwithsuchlosers and @ElFupacabra said, older people looking for a houseshare with strangers tend to be weird and unstable. Why don't they have an existing network of friends & family with a spare room by that point in their life? Usually the problem is the person.

This is before the current housing crisis, but when we looked for a new housemate in my 20s we didn't set an age limit. Unfortunately the older people were just too weird.

• One got angry when we asked why he was looking for a new place to live.
• One bitched about his relationship breakup.
• One had posted on Facebook about his many alcohol induced visits to A&E.
• A few were out of work, which matters when you have shared responsibility for the rent.
• One seemed fine but turned out to be an addict.

Oh dear, I haven't started a thread that attracted this much interest in like... ever. Sorry Sorry. I registered on Cohabitas, ta 4 that. I'm arranging a viewing now on Friday from SR contact, x-fingers we click.

Spareroom Results in my target area with other filters except age, n = 38
countof ones too far away, 3 mile buffer seems to not work, n = 18
Ones left not too far, n = 20
Ones left that say age 40+ or 'max age'; to 60, n =3
of which, 1. bedsit with challenging parking options; 2. 30 miles away (the distance filter really isn't working); 3. seems alright but may not have any cycle storage.
Running the exact same search I get different results on App than on website. Glitchy or what.
I can raise the budget & tweak other filters, but hopefully I'll like one I am viewing in few days time.

I never moved in to a shared house expecting to make 'friends'; I forgot that people do that. Fair enough. it's not good for my MH to come back to empty property every night. I was thinking many late 20-something males like belching contests many late 20-something females like screechy binge drinking which would get wearing. I wasn't a party animal but is a risk with strangers.

I don't like living alone either, so I now have a place with a friend. Also, having cats to greet me helps if that's an option :)