Is it genuinely just ‘luck’ if you conceive immediately?

[MyChristmasUsername]

I was wondering about this. Lots of people I know swear it took ‘one time’. I can group people into those categories: once or twice, or had difficulty and needed assistance to conceive.

I saw somewhere it’s a 25% chance each cycle and that the conditions have to be right etc. But theoretically if everything is healthy, why are the chances that low and why do so many couples conceive immediately vs others that don’t?

Currently 4th cycle of TTC.

I do think it's just luck. Both our children took 5 months to conceive, in between them I got pregnant 'first try' which ended in miscarriage. Most of the people around me conceived 'accidentally' which made it tough for me when it didn't happen first try as I assumed it would. If no fertility problems then I think it's just a case of it'll happen when it happens.
Good luck OP x

I think so! One of mine was a couple of months after stopping the pill (but not a timely "trying" iyswim. One was literally once and the one in between took 16 months!

Same for me.

All 3 of my pregnancies were conceived the first month of trying.

Pregnancies 1 and 2 resulted in DC1 and DC2 who are now primary school age, pregnancy 3 ended in a miscarriage 3 years later, no explanation.

So many factors, luck, genetics, general health etc. I conceived in the first month 3 times. We had sex every other day after my period until the next was due. I was 29, 30 and 34. Health wise no long term conditions but I was overweight before I conceived ds and dd2. I have always had regular periods. Dh also no health conditions.

Echoing what others have said previously, its timing and individual/couples fertility which I guess in some ways could be put down to luck.

4 pregnancies here first month of unprotected sex at the correct time:
1 - ended in miscarriage at 7 weeks age 33
2 - tried again straight away carrier to term at age 34
3 - miscarried at 10 weeks age 38
4 - currently 30 weeks pregnant age 40, all being well will be 41 at birth.

The first 3 pregnancies were planned. The current pregnancy wasn't planned but was a contraception failure during ovulation. We talked about taking the morning after pill but we were willing to take the risk and because I knew I was ovulating I thought the MAP was a waste of time.

All these pregnancies have been with the same partner and he's one of 5 children so I assume good fertility on his side. He's 5 years older than me. We've always used timing and condoms as needed for birth control. Have had loads of unprotected sex and only use condoms during my fertile period. I've not been particularly invested in tracking my timing in the last 6 years since our son was born. Gone through stages of remembering to track periods on an app etc. when I'm fertile a it's dead obvious so I just go with that - I'm mega horny and I've got egg white like cervical mucous. I guess people that use thermometers and ovulation sticks etc don't have as obvious of signs? I've always wondered this.... and tbh now I'm writing this down I'm thinking maybe if you don't have obvious signs of being fertile, you aren't naturally as fertile?

I think there’s an element of ‘luck’ if it’s literally the first cycle but generally age, health (regular periods, healthy weight, good spent count, not massive drinkers), education on cycles etc plays a part:

I think a lot of it is luck in the sense that if you have regular periods and always have, no history of infertility in your family, you’re relatively young and no health problems you are ‘lucky’ in the sense that you’ll probably have a better chance. I was always really lucky to conceive quickly, i feel like I had those factors in my favour (I was in my 30s not 20s though). I also eat pretty healthily and don’t drink much (DH same), I have also never yo-yo dieted- never really been overweight but never been a fitness fanatic either, have consistently been a mid-range healthy weight, no idea if that’s made a difference or not.

I was very lucky to conceive as easily in my mid 20s as my mid 30s. Only difference was my eldest was unplanned and youngest was planned. My eldest also survived the morning after pill. I conceived first time both times. Thankfully just my natural fertility at play and right time of the month.

Luck,or lack of it. DH and I didn’t get as much of a hint of a bfp in 20 years of unprotected sex.

I think it was psychological with me.

It took me 18 months to conceive my first. I was in a demanding full time job (but aren't most), had a few tests and everything was normal.

We then had a lovely three week holiday visiting family and friends in Australia and I conceived in the week I got back.

Three years later I conceived our second child literally the first time we tried (I was 42 by then!).

Urgh can't get over the cocky people thinking they did something special to conceive on the first go - just fuck off. Even if you get everything right and the sperm meets the egg, there's no guarantee of implantation - which needs to happen for your positive pregnancy test.

When I say my DH and I did everything by the book, and still didn't conceive for almost 3 years (despite being mid-20s) we still inevitably end up with some eyebrow raising cunt who silently judges us for "evidently missing something out". Both healthy, good BMIs, good diets, taking vitamins, no apparent sperm or egg issues etc. Doctor was baffled too.

OP just ignore the people who claim that they got pregnant on cycle 1 due to their amazing technique - it really can just be luck of the draw, and odds are you will eventually succeed in a pregnancy. 4 months is still very early in the TTC process, there's a reason doctors advise healthy couples wait 12 months before exploring other conception avenues, and that's because statistically you're very likely to conceive within 12 months. I know that doesn't make the waiting time any easier.

Personally, I ended up conceiving at a point where I'd essentially given up on all the healthy habits and practices - I wasn't taking my conception vitamins, I wasn't tracking ovulation, I'd given up on exercise, I was mid-renovating a dusty house, and I was drinking alcohol and lots of caffeine and eating pate etc. all the way up to that positive pregnancy test. Living like I might be pregnant for half a month in hope was just torturous and I couldn't do it any more.

On the 'trying' makes it less likely - I do think there is something in you being stressed that makes a difference. I've read that you often won't go into labour when you're stressed etc - your body's way of protecting the baby until it deems it 'safe'. I can imagine that conceiving is the same.

From my experience, I was an older mum - conceived very quickly originally - within the first few months, but that resulted in a miscarriage. Took another year of trying before conceiving again, by which time we'd been to the GP, had some initialy tests, been referred to the fertility clinic. I'd stopped obsessively testing because I could see it wasn't helping my MH, and had stopped with the whole TWW thing (where I would literally put my life on hold for 2 weeks of every month just in case I was pregnant). Might just be a coincidence, but it definitely felt as though as soon as we stopped worrying and obsessing about it, it happened for us.

3DCs

Got pregnant first month when trying and one was failed Pill but a very happy wanted surprise.

I was 26, 28 and 34

I consider myself extremely lucky I really do as i feel like im in the minority when to comes to getting pregnant that easily.

I think a combination. I had practiced temperature recording for years and tracked cervical fluid changes for a few years beforehand as contraception before we decided to try for a baby so I knew my body really well and was confident in when I ovulated so knew when was likely to be successful v when was very unlikely in any given month. This also helped me be fairly sure I was pregnant before the rest confirmed too as my temps stayed high. Luck obviously in that we were both fertile but just luck won't work.

I think (unfounded opinion based solely on own experience) there's something in this. I got pregnant at 33 and 36, the first time after 3 or four months, the second time first go. Both times we just had sex fairly often (every other day or couple of days) very roughly around the middle two weeks of my cycle and didn't think too much about it. I'd read somewhere that 90% of couples get pregnant in the first year, with 90% of the remainder managing it in the year following. So - being the "wrong" side of 30, and then of 35 - I just told myself to expect it to take a year and didn't worry about it. And it happened much quicker than that.

Four months doesn't sound that long to me.

As people have already said, is a mixture of luck alongside all the myriad other factors that we know come into play. If you're in the first year of trying, just don't sweat it. I know that's easier said than done, but making it stressful for yourself won't make it any quicker but could certainly make it miserable. Don't even think about it till it's been a year.

Me too, no sticks to pee on years ago!
I fell pregnant without much trying 😊

Conception requires a number of things to line up in time and space to occur and then maintaining a viable pregnancy also requires additional factors. Statistical chances of things lining up the probabilities can get quite small really and it’s individual for each couple I would suggest.

So let’s say

You ovulate successfully 9 times out of 10 (every 10th cycle you don’t produce an egg)
your partner produces 80% viable sperm
You monitor ovulation, are regularly dtd so you are getting your timing as good as it can be let’s say 95% timing success
0.9x0.8x0.95 = 0.68 so 2/3 of the time you are fertilising an egg with those very high individual probabilities-1/3 of the time no egg is even being fertilised

then there’s the variables/probabilities of viability, implantation, maintaining a pregnancy with correct hormone levels etc. It is a bit like a dice roll but supposedly more times you roll the higher the overall likelihood of getting pregnant (I have read)

My first 2 pregnancies took 3 rolls and my last one was a surprise after failed contraception so I guess it was a 1 roll (unless the contraception was failing many times!)

This is what happened to my cousin.
It took her ten years to conceive her first child. Within a few months of the birth she conceived again.