Is it genuinely just ‘luck’ if you conceive immediately?

[MyChristmasUsername]

I was wondering about this. Lots of people I know swear it took ‘one time’. I can group people into those categories: once or twice, or had difficulty and needed assistance to conceive.

I saw somewhere it’s a 25% chance each cycle and that the conditions have to be right etc. But theoretically if everything is healthy, why are the chances that low and why do so many couples conceive immediately vs others that don’t?

Currently 4th cycle of TTC.

I conceived both of mine in the first month of trying. I was in my 20s, which helps, and knew my cycle well so could easily tell when was the right time to "DTD".

Seemed like luck for me. Got pregnant second month (miscarried though). Wrongly assumed I'd get pregnant again quickly but it took two years.

Timing is definitely part of it.

Obviously it’s lucky to conceive easily if that is something you want but it’s not totally random. Some people are more fertile than others, higher sperm count, more regular cycles etc. Health and age will play a part, as will regularity of sex, but so does individual biology.

I conceived first time and carried to term 3 times (at 31, 33 and 36). It was luck in that I didn’t earn it. But I’m also from a family who seem very fertile. All of the women have had lots of kids, no issues with conception or miscarriage. We’re all lucky but I suspect there’s a genetic element to that.

Am I correct in thinking cycle 4 is the 4th month of trying?

Yeah that’s right

Me and DP were mid-30s, got pregnant first time with both DC. Had sex every day from period ending to realising I was pregnant, both times. Lots of sex. My cycles were not regular, so knew there was no point wasting time trying to work out fertile windows so just went with the good old fashioned lots of sex technique.

@Dacadactyl I am not sure whether to count the 1st month as I think we mistimed the window, but for the other two I know we were definitely trying in the run up to my ovulation.

We "tried" officially 19 times, but for at least half a dozen of those, you'd have thought we were using the rhythm method of contraception due to business trips, solo holidays during fertile window etc. I had had long covid irregular periods and had stress burnout, my husband has mild issues on his side, plus we kept skipping months due to upcoming job changes/plans etc.

I was just about getting nervous about it even having discounted the very unlikely months, when I realised that I was five days late again. Been there before with irregular cycles, and I was super stressed. Plus it was a very unlikely month again! Except that I was pregnant that time.

There's probably no reason other than all the starts aligning for some couples. Yes age is a factor but that doesn't explain people like the OP in their 20s taking longer than people in their late 30s banging a few kids out.

I was 34 when we TTC for our first and it happened in the first cycle. 37 when we TTC for no 2 and that took us 3 cycles. I'd say a lot of that was luck.

I dont think it's luck no, but I do feel lucky that I've not had issues.

We genuinely conceived the first month when trykng for both DCs (however when trying with DC2, the first try ended in a chemical pregnancy. I then conceived DC2 on 3rd month).

This isn't to say Ive had plain sailing however as DC1 was born at 26 weeks.

I think that there are many, many different factors involved that combine together.

Age of both partners, timing of intercourse vs timing of ovulation, then countless different things that affect both partners level of fertility and also general health.

I feel like if both partners are young, have no health issues or fertility issues (both known or unknown and both minor or serious) AND have sex at the right times, chances of conceiving are much higher than 25%.

There is an element of 'luck' in that you are wanting dc at a time when all the biological things that help, align.
That does include age, but also things like sperm count, like weight, like other health issues and no doubt all sorts of other things.
But I also think couples that are just relaxed and stop taking contraceptive but continue to have lots of sex, are far more likely to conceive that people who turn it into some sort of scientific experiment.

I wonder if it's the stress of actively trying.

I had two months TTC - I was so stressed by it and didn't concieve. Then I thought "oh I give up - if it happens, it happens". I totally relaxed and we fell pregnant that month. A lot of people seem to have similar stories

I’ve had 2 babies from having sex once that month (I know for a fact). So literally once.

Ive had 2 other babies who were conceived following months of trying and multiple losses.

Both of my unplanned pregnancies (the one time ones) were while I was still breastfeeding.

I’ve been very lucky and also very unlucky.

I wish you all the best.

Probably a big part is luck too. Along side, age/health/genetics. My mom conceived immediately in all 5 of her pregnancies and same with all 4 of mine (although only have one living child).

It’s just chance, I wouldn’t call it luck, it’s just a numbers game. Of the tens of thousands of couples having unprotected sex every month some will get pregnant, it might be their first time trying or their 100th.

Both times I got pregnant within 3 months of coming off contraception were more likely luck as I didn’t cycle track or anything and was also very much if we get pregnant great if not also great

then people I know who have tracked have taken much longer and I honestly think it’s the pressure they put on themselves trying

Pregnancy one - pregnant within six weeks of trying, all good.

Pregnancy two - pregnant first month of trying, ended in miscarriage.

Pregnancy three - tried for two years, nothing worked. Eventuality we were obsessed with tracking fertile days etc and having sex to order, not for fun. So one month we decided to have sex whenever we fancied it, but not in the fertile window, to take the stress off for a month and not try to conceive. Hey presto, pregnant and a successful pregnancy.

i genuinely believe it is.

i conceived 1st go although ended in MC
then started trying again and was pregnant month 3 for DS1

However ff trying again when DS1 was 18 months and we've had no luck - he now over 3.So still at it trying for DC2 and considering private fertility options.

Weight : diet is same! have no idea what changed.

Yes, we’ve had 10+ conceptions over 3 years and can get pregnant easily, consecutive months in a row (even doing it once in that month if well-timed, a few accidents). But we can never keep them going, sadly. There are so many things that need go go right for a new life to develop. It’s a miracle anyone gets born imho.

My first pregnancy happened on the second month of trying and ended in miscarriage, my second happened on the fifth month and now I have a lovely one year old boy. It will happen OP, you’ll see 🌷

I was 20 and DH 22 when we started trying for DC1. Took 18 months to conceive. DC4 at 28 was "instant".

Got pregnant instantly 3 times at age 42-3 (2 miscarriages then a successful pregnancy).

How do you explain that if it's only down to age?

The doctor who helped us with fertility treatment had a pet hate... the "average time to conceive is 6 months" theory.

She told me that healthy couples having enough sex will usually conceive within 3 months. But couples who have problems will take a minimum of 18 months. That's where the 'average' comes fromanf it does seem to reflect the experience of many of.my friends. We had a relatively "easy" fertility journey as a) we knew what the problem was in advance and b) we had private medical care and c) I was one of the people whose pcos was dealt with by taking clomid and it still took us 17 months from when we started trying to when i got pregnant....

As a side note, I have long suspected that's what happened with Harry and meghan... she had heard all the stats, exacerbated by her being over 35 so they started trying immediately and BANG pregnant!!!

Surely it’s fertility and timing, not luck… Age is a factor, and health etc but they’re not the biggest.

Mid 30’s pregnant first time ttc but miscarried and then pregnant 2 months after my miscarriage but I believe I got the timing wrong the month before.

My younger sister who I’d say was fitter and healthier needed IVF. Other friends took 9 months or so both times before conceiving healthy pregnancies.

Pregnant first month of trying both times thanks to the clear blue digital sticks. Expensive but worth it.