Is it genuinely just ‘luck’ if you conceive immediately?

[MyChristmasUsername]

I was wondering about this. Lots of people I know swear it took ‘one time’. I can group people into those categories: once or twice, or had difficulty and needed assistance to conceive.

I saw somewhere it’s a 25% chance each cycle and that the conditions have to be right etc. But theoretically if everything is healthy, why are the chances that low and why do so many couples conceive immediately vs others that don’t?

Currently 4th cycle of TTC.

Well exactly. I conceived the first month of trying (nothing more complicated than sex every second day throughout my cycle) each time - I have 3DC and was in my late 30s/early 40s when I had my DC, I was obviously very fertile. Currently 53 and still have regular periods.

I never get V&D, and have never had a bad case of Covid or reacted badly to a vaccine. However I do always get a very bad cough that last for weeks whenever I get a cold and am allergic to penicillin.

I got pregnant at 42 ... I was not 'trying', my DH was much keener than me ... I certainly wasn't tracking my fertility (didn't even know that was a 'thing' as I had never wanted to get pregnant) ... I think it is luck in many cases .. it always seems sad that so many women are desperate for babies yet others conceive almost too easily which results in unwanted pregnancies and (possibly) unwanted babies .

Tried for years with first DH. Nothing.

Caught first time having sex with boyfriend. (No contraception).

Caught first time with DH when stopped contraception.

No other pregnancies. Just the luck of the draw.

A lot of people will say it took only one cycle - I know quite a few people who have said this. But in other conversations they've mentioned winging it a bit with contraception previously which makes me doubt the first month claim.

Around the time I had my first baby there was a post on another forum that surveyed how long it had taken users to get pregnant and IIRC c.60% reckoned it took just 1 cycle which statistically is very unlikely.

Exactly? I got pregnant at 37 and it was first time. When I was TTC at 29, took 8 months!

Have always conceived straight away but also never got worked up with when ovulation was or anything just had sex pretty much every day because that was our normal and got pregnant. So no stress or worry or making sex a chore either. Was all finished having babies by the time I was 25. Did have a couple of losses but again never waited just straight back at it.

I’ve been both ends of this. Took us 9 years to conceive the first time. Second time once when I was 4 months postpartum. It was like my body had reset after having my first. I never expected to get pregnant again so it came as a massive shock but the best one ever.

This. We did fertility MOT early on so knew we had no fertility issues but took us ten months.

I remember watching a video of a sperm getting to the egg and it was madness what the sperm has to travel through to conceive. It was actually really interesting and put everything into perspective.

There’s way too much at play to say it’s just luck I would say. Age, BMI, smoker status, alcohol intake, caffeine intake, general health and fitness, having enough sex & having enough sex at the right time, endo/PCOS, drug use (even if historic), for men there’s overheating testicles, wearing too tight clothes, currently having or previously having an STD… lots of things that individually make a small % difference but actually those small amounts do add up.

DH & I are also in our twenties and I’m currently 6 months pregnant. I do feel very grateful for that! We also have friends who have been ttc for 5 months now and would tell you that they are doing EVERYTHING they can… while both being overweight, both full time smokers (and swear they will just stop when she falls pregnant), both drink to excess every weekend as well as regularly a few drinks throughout the week, both also used to smoke weed & sniff coke as part of their standard night out. So although they are tracking ovulation and having sex, they are never going to have the same chance in a cycle as 2 people of healthy BMI, non smoker, non drinker etc

Luck and genetics I would guess.
My first I wasn't trying but had changed to the mini-pill which I was taking sporadically and it was definitely within a 3 month period- we didn't live together at that point and only saw each other a few times a week but I think it happened during a holiday.
2nd was first month trying and third I know the exact time it happened because we didn't use protection (breastfeeding and timing haha).
My mum and sister were similar and fell pregnant very easy so I think there's a genetic element. I was also under 30 for the first two and 31 for the third and fairly healthy which probably helped.

I think being relaxed and having lots of sex helps rather than timing things too much.

I'm not sure it's luck, it's quite random.

I've had 6 pregnancies.

Pg1 - wasn't trying, mc at 8 weeks
Pg2 - wasn't trying, mc at 10 weeks
Pg3 - was trying, conceived first cycle, dd1 now 23!
Pg4 - was trying, conceived first cycle, mc at 8 weeks
Pg5 - was trying, conceived second month, ds now 21!
Pg6 - wasn't trying (in fact I had a mirena) but it failed. I'd been saying it felt weird for a while but finally did a pg test, I was 13 weeks when I found out. Gorgeous, fantastic (unplanned but never unwanted) dd2 is now 20!

It's very random.
I sometimes wonder if some couples sperm and eggs are more compatible also as I hear lots of stories how a couple struggles but the next relationship, no struggles!

I have pcos and alot of follicles. Cycles range in length and so does ovulation window. Overweight. 30/s. No exactly the ideal candidate really.

pregnancy 1: accident , MC
pregnancy 2: withdrawal method fail, MC
pregnancy 3: trying, first 'go' successful and almost due

Luck...

DH and I were at a wedding and I had a lot to drink, I said 'let's have a baby' and we didn't use any contraception that night and baby was conceived. (I know it was that night as I changed my mind the next morning, decided it was very unlikely that once would be enough but I gave birth exactly 40 weeks to the day later!)

It’s just luck or something genetic. Must be as I have fallen pregnant first try with all my pregnancies, and the last time we were certainly not ‘doing everything right’ as I we were very old dh was 49 and I was late 30s. I think there’s no rhyme or reason to it at all so please don’t feel like it’s something you are or aren’t doing, if it doesn’t happen for you.

It really is luck I think because there's loafs of variables.
I have conceived twice whilst on contraception. And then once literally the first time we had unprotected sex after saying 'maybe it would be nice to have a sibling for our son' all with the same man.
No idea why as there's been points in my younger life when I've stupidly had unprotected sex with guys and I never once fell pregnant then. Yet have now had two children which were conceived whilst I was using contraception!
I think there's so many things it depends on. Mens fertility can also fluctuate.. as obviously can womens.. and then there's the combination of the man and woman and how fertile they are together at that time.
It's not as in our control as we are lead to believe as women in the west.
I've got a friend who has been trying for years and sadly it's just not happened even tho no one can find any issue with either of their fertility.
And I have another friend who tried for years even had ivf, then gave up when she turned 40 and at 41 has just had her first child naturally conceived with the same man she was trying for years with and had given up actively trying!

1st time was a surprise. 2nd time took 4 months. 3rd time one time but ended in miscarriage. Feels quite random to me.

It's all down to luck, even if you get the timing right.

I had my babies before ovulation tests were invented. Luckily I had a 28 day cycle and because of cervical mucus changes I knew when I was ovulating, so we made sure to concentrate our efforts around then.

DC1 - took 11 months to conceive
DC2 - conceived first time of trying, we only managed sex at the right time once that cycle but it was enough
DC3 - took 4 months to conceive

DD1 - conceived on the pill when DH and I had been together just over a month.

TTC month 1 - ended in a chemical miscarriage

DD2 - conceived after 13m trying. No investigations or help but I did start taking Feroglobin. Recommended it to a friend and she conceived straight away after TTC for about 18m.

DS - conceived from 1 time not pulling out nowhere near my expected ovulation. I’m now 27+2. I was taking Feroglobin for the iron content at the time as well.

I think some of it is luck and some of it is DTD at the right time and your body being in the right hormonal balance to encourage conception.

I am one of those people. I have been pregnant four times and each time it happened on the first month (first time I wasn't even trying, it was my first time having sex 😞) but the other three were planned and it really did happen the first month of trying. Probably just luck/coincidence.

My first was like this too, we had a long time wrangling about would we ttc or not and then the night we agreed to go for it, had unprotected sex then didn’t again that month, so knew that was the date I fell pregnant.

This was my current pregnancy. We were on the fence about having DC3 and only had unprotected sex once nowhere near my expected ovulation date. A few days later, we decided not to TTC DC3 but figured it was unlikely based on how long DD2 had taken to conceive. Took a test a couple of weeks later just to put my mind at rest and had to call DH into the bathroom to let him know our plans for DC3 were back on.

I’ve had unprotected sex twice in my life (whilst not being pregnant) and I have two children. I was over thirty for both babies. I just can’t believe it’s just luck, I’d have had to have been lucky both times.

Knowing your cycle well is also an advantage. I was able to feel ovulation which ensured I got pregnant first time, I also double ovulate which is very obvious as I have pain on both sides. I had Dcda twins. I also no longer ovulate or if I still do I can no longer feel it but I am in the height of peri menopause.

I was 26 and took six-ish months for first pregnancy. No tracking or anything, my periods have always been regular but I didn't really know much about ovulation.

Second pregnancy, I had ovulation sticks and conceived the first go I had a strong ovulation indication. I was 29.

I don't think "luck" is a thing. Either you're having sex round ovulation or you're not, and if you're not then you're not likely to get pregnant.

I conceived at first attempt with my three . Ovulation kits were not a thing so just went for mid cycle. Consider myself very fortunate. I did have MC with first pregnancy though. Good luck OP