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Original poster

Keep out of it or send message?

79 replies

Wheredidchristmasgo · 07/01/2024 11:30

Probably keep out of it but here goes...

DS15 noticed a cafe opening near us and messaged them via my Instagram (he doesn't really do social media) to ask them if they had any vacancies once open (very politely, he as asked me check it), they messaged back with a really enthusiastic email to say they'd love to meet him when they were a bit more organised. A little bit of time went past and he emailed them again and they replied again to say they definitely wanted to see him and they'd be in touch soon. Another couple of months went past and he heard nothing so I had a chat with him explaining these things sometimes happen, disappointing and annoying as they are.

Then about a month ago they emailed to say they were close to opening, would like to meet him and asked for his availability. He was really pleased and emailed them back and then no reply from them and we walked past the cafe yesterday and it's now open and obviously fully staffed. DS was gutted when he saw it.

Now, as an adult I totally understand that being ghosted professionally is an annoying fact of life but I think it's crappy to do it to a child and was also totally unnecessary to contact him again to ask her to come in and then ignore his replies. I am really tempted to message them to tell them, in a calm and tactful way, just this as it's really knocked his confidence and he thinks she's done something wrong.

So, wise mums netters - leave it or send them a message?

OP posts:
itsmylife7 · 07/01/2024 11:39

Leave it obviously.

FallingStar21 · 07/01/2024 11:48

I'd have dropped in with DS and very politely explained what had happened and ask if they still want to see him as he would be very keen to join their team. Would keep it positive and see what they say. It could work to his advantage as it shows how much he wants the job and he's made the extra effort to go in person. Even if they have plenty of staff, they might still consider hiring him. Or if they say "no" there's nothing to lose.
I wouldn't be "telling them off" though. What they've done is not great or very professional but happens all the time and it can be a good life lesson to your son. He'll encounter many such situations and would need to build some resilience.

Crinkle77 · 07/01/2024 11:50

It's very poor of them but I'd leave it.

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DowntonCrabby · 07/01/2024 11:53

Leave it, he surely now doesn’t want to work for them as they are either completely disorganised or not interested in pursuing his employment.

Chilicabbage · 07/01/2024 11:55

They probably had hundreds of people asking for job and got lost in it in the pre opening chaos. These things some happen.
Simply explain that to your 15 year old who should be able to understand that shit happens and sometimes it just no one's fault really

Tonight1 · 07/01/2024 11:55

They sound scatty.

Best not to complain as such but as pp said drop by with DS. Someone might leave and there'll be a vacancy.

Banana1979 · 07/01/2024 11:58

How did they recruit the other staff I guess not through Instagram? They may not have thought that your messages were serious. I wld drop in and ask if there are any vacancies because you told that they were keen to see your son, but if they say no, then that’s fine maybe apply for jobs via different avenues

withthischoice · 07/01/2024 11:59

oh dear - fact you’re even asking is what i find intriguing

withthischoice · 07/01/2024 12:01

they presumably knew he was 15 as he’d told them? and no doubt zero experience.

so basically he was on their reserve list for if they were desperate. They weren’t

withthischoice · 07/01/2024 12:01

i’d focus more on why this has “really knocked” the confidence of my child and led him to questioning whether he’s “done something wrong”

Themountainwithsnowonit · 07/01/2024 12:03

Good on him for trying to find a job at 15. I hope this doesn't put him off trying elsewhere.

Definitely don't message them, I'm surprised you're asking really.

Cosywintertime · 07/01/2024 12:03

withthischoice · 07/01/2024 12:01

i’d focus more on why this has “really knocked” the confidence of my child and led him to questioning whether he’s “done something wrong”

Me too, thr healthy reaction is that’s a bit shit, they seem disorganised, and just keep looking. Is there a back story.?

MyLadyTheKingsMother · 07/01/2024 12:10

FallingStar21 · 07/01/2024 11:48

I'd have dropped in with DS and very politely explained what had happened and ask if they still want to see him as he would be very keen to join their team. Would keep it positive and see what they say. It could work to his advantage as it shows how much he wants the job and he's made the extra effort to go in person. Even if they have plenty of staff, they might still consider hiring him. Or if they say "no" there's nothing to lose.
I wouldn't be "telling them off" though. What they've done is not great or very professional but happens all the time and it can be a good life lesson to your son. He'll encounter many such situations and would need to build some resilience.

He is already clearly keen.

Never beg to work somewhere that doesn't want you 🙄

Daniagainagainagain · 07/01/2024 12:14

withthischoice · 07/01/2024 12:01

i’d focus more on why this has “really knocked” the confidence of my child and led him to questioning whether he’s “done something wrong”

Yeah I think this too.

Original poster
Wheredidchristmasgo · 07/01/2024 12:18

Okay will definitely leave it.

For those of you asking about how they recruited I’m not actually sure. DS sent them a speculative message when they were still in the process of setting up explaining his age and lack of experience but said he was a quick learner. They emailed him back saying they were really impressed by his enthusiasm and would really like to see him once they were further down the line. They emailed him a couple of times between then and then emailed him again to ask him to come in and then nowt.

Anyway we’re boycotting them as our own private protest 😉 and he’s just said he’s enjoyed a lie in this AM which he wouldn’t have got should he have been working so I think he’s feeling better this AM.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wheredidchristmasgo · 07/01/2024 12:19

Daniagainagainagain · 07/01/2024 12:14

Yeah I think this too.

Show quote history

He’s not a terribly confident child, some aren’t.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wheredidchristmasgo · 07/01/2024 12:21

withthischoice · 07/01/2024 11:59

oh dear - fact you’re even asking is what i find intriguing

It’s nothing that interesting or intriguing I’m just a menopausal woman with a child who’s been needlessly pissed off. It’s shitty IMO but I won’t be contacting them.

OP posts:
qlapnal · 07/01/2024 12:23

It's bizarre you'd even consider contacting them

qlapnal · 07/01/2024 12:25

Also why do you keep switching between a male and female child in the OP?

PossumintheHouse · 07/01/2024 12:26

Definitely leave it. Appreciate it’s a knock to his confidence but this is going to be one of many set backs on the way to finding jobs, be it due to scatty management, lack of experience or outright rejections.

When I was 18, I applied for a job at a local bar. The manager was enthusiastic, arranged a phone interview with me for later that week. When I rang at my interview time, he was really annoyed and said he’d had to give the job to somebody else because I hadn’t called sooner. He’d forgotten the time and day of my interview. I felt absolutely crap even though it was totally on them! You’ve just got to learn from it and move on to the next opportunity.

WhateverMate · 07/01/2024 12:26

Why on earth didn't he pop in?

And you don't know they're 'obviously fully staffed' as you have no idea of their rotas.

Tell him he needs to get there in person ASAP.

Original poster
Wheredidchristmasgo · 07/01/2024 12:27

qlapnal · 07/01/2024 12:25

Also why do you keep switching between a male and female child in the OP?

putting that down to my menopausal brain.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wheredidchristmasgo · 07/01/2024 12:28

PossumintheHouse · 07/01/2024 12:26

Definitely leave it. Appreciate it’s a knock to his confidence but this is going to be one of many set backs on the way to finding jobs, be it due to scatty management, lack of experience or outright rejections.

When I was 18, I applied for a job at a local bar. The manager was enthusiastic, arranged a phone interview with me for later that week. When I rang at my interview time, he was really annoyed and said he’d had to give the job to somebody else because I hadn’t called sooner. He’d forgotten the time and day of my interview. I felt absolutely crap even though it was totally on them! You’ve just got to learn from it and move on to the next opportunity.

Thank you.

OP posts:
howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 07/01/2024 12:29

Contact the manager and let them know communication was poor.

It's really not good enough. There's likely to be a certain amount of staff turnover and it would be good if the cafe doesn't repeat this, it's bad PR anyway.

Theredfoxfliesatmidnight · 07/01/2024 12:30

Having his mum come in to complain is not going to be looked on favourably by them. Any employer seeks independently minded, responsible employees, not staff that need their mum to fight their battles. Whilst you feel involved, this situation is actually non of your business and the shop are likely to refuse to speak to you, as a third party. If your son wishes to give feedback on how he feels he received unfair treatment he would do much better to do this himself - it will reflect much better on him as a person.

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