Autistic women assemble! #3

[Nepmarthiturn]

This is a thread for autistic women to connect, chat, vent, laugh, share and seek advice and solidarity (small talk and word mincing not required). 😊

Any autistic women newly finding the thread are very welcome to join us (even if awaiting diagnosis) but we'd be grateful if others could leave us alone please…

Previous threads:

1

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4777843-autistic-women-assemble

#2
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4865805-autistic-women-assemble-2

There is a person on that thread who is Angry and Ranting (by their own admission) at Autistic posters apparently because a family member didn't quite meet the threshold for an Autism diagnosis but is "clearly not NT" 20 lengthy posts about this.

That's our fault how, exactly?

Anyway, anyone got snow? It was bleaching down here earlier but its stopped now. -5 forecast here tonight. I'm not looking forward to the trek to hospital for my 2nd lot of Omalizumab injections tomorrow.

We had some snow showers here but very light. Is bleaching down regional to you@RainbowZebraWarrior? I’ve never heard it before

Ooh, i don't know, Jewellery. I've obviously heard the term, and picked it up from somewhere, but I don't know if it's regional (I'm from the North East of England) I shall have to go and look it up, now.

I do wonder if we should get some advice as I think the current trend on MN is really not ok and actually quite damaging. The way they’ve let the thread stand, couldn’t give a shit re how offensive it is or how much autistic women are having to justify their autism and validate their disability is just appalling.

I'm horrified at the way MNHQ lets these threads stand.
They wouldn't let overly racist threads stand.

I did try and look it up (you’re always told to google something if you even ask a question on other threads) but I couldn’t see anything about it. Have you found anything out?

I haven't found anything and now I'm wondering if I've just made it up and it's my own little 'thing'

I honestly think we do need some sort of legal representation. Sounds mad and OTT, but it's beyond a joke, now.

I've reported one poster twice. MN have said they will let the posts stand. They keep repeating the same thing, including the fact that all of us with diagnosed Autism are rigid in our thinking and have a 'false certainty' of our diagnosis. I find that grossly offensive, and it all boils down to bitterness due to a family member not meeting the criteria.

Surely if someone doesn't meet the criteria, or is wrongly not put forward for assessment, then you take that up with medical professionals rather than question others. As frustrating as it must be, other conditions may be a more appropriate fit. We've all been there and fought our own corners, why should our diagnoses be minimised just because someone doesn't agree with a family member being apparently Neurotypical. The biggest laugh is, if they feel they are ND, then they aren't doing themselves any favours in alienating those of us who are. We've all been happy to help anyone questioning an assessment. Talk about having a fixed view. They could frame it totally differently and find themselves some great allies if they weren't so dismissive and obnoxious about it.

They have challenged and interrogated every Autistic person who has simply said that they are fed up with folk questioning our disability.

We absolutely all agree here that it wouldn't be allowed among other protected minorities.

I love making my own words for things up sometimes. I call it “my autistic language” lol

Oh my heart breaks for you it really does. I went through it last year and I still miss my little boy. My condolences. I know people will trot out the 'its only a pet' thing but they are family. I have one left and he is my baby. Thinking of you all x

@RainbowZebraWarrior I saw and ignored both threads. I am starting to get filled with rage at this dickheads who just spout random shite now. I cant allow them get to me but it is bloody hard when they seem to be coming at us hard and fast. Its nearly a daily issue at this stage.

Thanks, and you're right. I've stepped away from them. There are some batshit arguments, and to be honest, why should I care so much about what random people think? Sure, I occasionally feel something personally and have a sense that I need to say my piece, but then we get accused as 'gatekeepers' or 'rigid thinkers'

I've just reminded myself that I had the battle to get assessed and diagnosed. Then I had a three year battle to get PIP, which I've only just won. I'm actually finally happy with who I am, so what good does it do to get caught up in the relentless bun fights on MN? None.

I shall remind myself again when the next one pops up. Ignore the threads, avoid the (additional, unnecessary) rage.

I think at the start of my diagnosis I was on each of them threads defending 'us' but sure wht bother? The ignorant will be eternally ignorant and it is up to them to educate themselves because we have educated ourselves already. Fuck them. Sick of idiots and I got my period today which while on the pill and at my age I should not be getting but I am just so over twats at this point.

Access to work support applies to those that are self employed and those also employed by an employer. It just means that a self employed person would order the awarded support themselves and not the employer. Also, access to work offers funding for support workers or a job aide to help a person do their job. For example, if a self employed struggled with accounts, marketing their business, dealing with clients or doing admin or organisational tasks due to their disabilities, a support worker or a virtual admin assistant would be able to support you with this.

Who is this message for?

Morning all! Hope everyone OK. It's a cold but beautifully bright morning here, and the birds are singing.

@TheShellBeach I wondered that, too. I know that poster has shared access to work information on other threads. It's been specifically discussed on those threads, though. Nobody here has asked about Access to work on here, I don't think.

Hi there, Rainbow!

It's very cold and icy here.

I live in sheltered housing and the HA is currently trying to get rid of our warden.
We all live independently in our own houses. She is only here for two hours, Mon-Fri anyway but many of the older and frailer residents value a daily visit.

Well. The autistic woman (X) who lives next door to me and I are starting a campaign. Neither of us is 70 yet and we're perfectly capable mentally to take this on.

I think it's outrageous that our support is being removed. X and I have little use for the warden, but the older people do.

We'll be older eventually anyway. Bah! Council cutbacks!

Watch this space. There are only 12 of us but we're going to fight back.

I wish you luck @TheShellBeach 🙂

I have a date!

No, not that sort of date, I have a date for my adhd assessment. I’m having that assessed first as there’s treatment of that. I’m in two minds about an asd assessment but I could probably do with the protection in the workplace. Where I am now is great but the pay isn’t enough to keep me for very long.

That's good news @LoveSandbanks I guess just take it one step at a time, but its worth pursuing both. I've only recently realised how much my ASD rules the roost now I'm in my 50s, whereas when I was younger it was probably more the ADHD. So worth pursuing to understand your future self as it were (and also as you say, for protection at work)

@TheShellBeach how are you getting on? I was shocked to hear about your sheltered housing trying to do that with the warden. There will be nowt left soon the way organisations and local authorities are stripping back to the bone!

@Nepmarthiturn How are you? Hope you're OK. Feel like it's been a while since you checked in.

Difficult week, here. We had a re referral back to CAMHS by the GP last week as DD is just not coping with school. (Panic attacks every day, hates it, is always upset and cannot concentrate) It's been like this for a couple of years now, but has ramped up to the point that I don't think school is going to work for her. Her OT keeps talking about 'preparing her for Secondary' and I'm just at the point where I hollow laugh cos I just can't imagine it. I've always been very positive, but the realism kicked in eventually. Anyway, paperwork was only sent to CAHMS last week and we've got a cancellation appt this afternoon. I've then got one of our 6 weekly school meetings straight after. Will see if anything new can be pulled out of the hat, as I feel like I'm just repeating myself over and over.

I have a feeling that X (the autistic woman next door) and I are going to form a tenants' association for the twelve of us who are affected by the removal of our warden.

We're going to go to each house and explain the issues as we're certain that half the residents have not understood what's happening.

X has now written to the local paper and between us we've written to our three local councillors and our MSP.

One councillor has responded and offered to have a meeting with us.

We're not taking this lying down.

Bloody good for you @TheShellBeach that's the spirit! I'm willing you both on. Brilliant that you've had a reply already from one of the councillors.

Oh and off the record, the warden herself has told us that funds are available for tenants' associations.

We've never needed one up till now. But there are severely disabled people here, and one or two with learning difficulties.

X and I (and my DH) are anomalies in a way. We're much younger than most of the residents and we're very feisty individuals. X and I were active in local politics prior to moving here (for an allegedly quieter life).

X told me last week that the hyper-focus part of our ND profiles will help. She's right. We're not letting this go. We rarely use the services of the warden, but we pay towards her being here because this is a community.
Also, we doubt if the sons and daughters of the older residents even know this is happening.

@TheShellBeach my post about access to work was in response from @Picklemeyellow on page 3 of this thread who stated about being self employed so they could not access any support.

Many apologies, I did not know how to reply to a specific person so that is why my post was not stating who I was responding to.

Hi!

The Reply button on here doesn't work.

To respond to someone, click on the three dots, and select QUOTE.

Some of us have been hassling MNHQ for years about this.