Autistic women assemble! #3

[Nepmarthiturn]

This is a thread for autistic women to connect, chat, vent, laugh, share and seek advice and solidarity (small talk and word mincing not required). 😊

Any autistic women newly finding the thread are very welcome to join us (even if awaiting diagnosis) but we'd be grateful if others could leave us alone please…

Previous threads:

1

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4777843-autistic-women-assemble

#2
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4865805-autistic-women-assemble-2

I hid the entire AIBU topic because so much stuff on AIBU is drama seekers shit-stirring.

Aye, you're right there Vito. It's always in AIBU.

Assessment date confirmed for 11th July!

@SwordToFlamethrower Woohoo!

Fantastic! Not long to wait now 😊

Morning all
Hope this is ok to post - feel free to ignore if not.
I'm in the process of developing a range of autism/ADHD congrats cards - IE congrats on your diagnosis, Happy diagnosis day, etc etc
Do you think these would be a good idea?
I celebrate my diagnosis as do my kids but I'm unsure as to whether there would be much love for these..... just interested in your opinions really?

I've not had a great time asking my childhood friend to help me with a question for the childhood questionnaire. I sent her a screenshot of one question. It turns out she isn't supportive. Said everyone is on the spectrum, why do I want the label? She didn't answer the question, just said everyone got picked on at school and I shouldn't label myself, based on a few kids who picked on me.

I shouldn't care what she thinks or says, but honestly, this has been my experience with a lot of people who know me. Saying everyone is on the spectrum, why do I want a label, why am I focusing on bad stuff!

My therapist pushed me to get diagnosed.

Take a complete step back here from this person. Explain in your assessment (or on the paperwork in advance) about how you've come up against this. The asessors come across this all the time.

Frustrating and hurtful though. I had 3 very good friends. I walked away from two of them after I was diagnosed due to this shit. Thankfully, I hadn't asked them for any help with my assessment forms. What a kick in the face.

Me and DD would love this sort of thing.

I’m on the fence. On one hand, the cards sound great and it’s good to have your diagnosis acknowledged but on the other hand, a diagnosis even if you’re expecting it can come as a shock and a card in that respect might not help. People are different though, some people will like them and some people won’t

I'm not on the fence.

I wouldn't like a card to celebrate an autism diagnosis. Can you imagine displaying it, only to have random people asking "why do you need a label"? Then you'd be stuck with explaining, just as we do on here, that autism is a diagnosis, not a label.

Also, if you didn't display it, what would be the point of it?

And if your family saw it, and they claimed you were just "quirky", how would you feel? You'd be arguing with them forever.

I also think that @JewelleryCat makes a good point.
Many people are ambivalent about their diagnoses. They might not feel like celebrating. Not right at the beginning.

And I've had another, awful thought.

Anyone could buy one, and send it as a joke to another person. Maybe that would be seen as an insult.

Oh I didn’t think of that @TheShellBeach. That’s a good point. Unfortunately people can be cruel

I have my assessment tomorrow! I don't feel worried about it but have been really stressed all week in anticipation of it happening, if that makes sense. No idea what to expect really. I am only doing it at this point as it will potentially help aid my dd's assessment which is in a few months time.

It's a very weird feeling!

Good luck!

All the best @AlpacaWooly

I was diagnosed six months before my DD. It definitely helped in the sense that I was more prepared / knew what to expect. The biggest factor though was I was able to categorically say that she had family history of Neurodivergence.

Best of luck to you.

Thanks everyone!

It went really well. The woman who did the assessment was lovely and said it was very easy to diagnose me.

It's a relief to finally have an answer!!

That's how I felt. Just relief.
Relief to know that there was a reason why some parts of my life had been so spectacularly terrible!
And it helped me to understand why my O-Level results were as they were: either A or AA, or H (which was the worst kind of Fail back in 1972)

I also understood (at last) why some people really, really like me, and other people seem to really, really, dislike me. I'd always wondered about that - it actually broke my heart, sometimes.

Yeah, exactly the same here.

Pleased you also got the diagnosis there and then @AlpacaWooly like I did. I know some people have had assessment providers where they have waited weeks for their actual diagnosis post assessment. (How to send an Autistic person over the edge, eh?)

By the by, did anyone watch the latest series of Pilgrimage? I'm just catching up with it now. The whole group really seemed to get in well. Christine McGuinness is on it and said she felt so accepted by the others - for anyone who doesn't know, Christine is diagnosed Autistic. She also had a quiet word with another contestant (Tom Rosenthall) and asked him if he'd ever thought he was Autistic as she recognised traits within 2 mins if seeing him. I was just nodding all the way through.

I know some people don't like Christine McGuiness and the whole celebrity revealing their diagnosis. I do get that, but I love her as shes so like me. (And she's my girl crush!)

@RainbowZebraWarrior yes I would have hated to wait weeks for the result! The worst!

Hi all, I am just starting to explore the fact that I may have ASD and am keen to pursue an assessment. However beyond my own word I won’t be able to provide childhood evidence. I am either NC or LC with parents due to abuse and I can’t go to other members of the family as I was kept at as much of a distance from them as my parents could get away with. The one grandparent I could have asked died several years ago now. I only have two friends from my childhood but I’m not sure how much help they could be as I would have been masking in front of them. Is this going to prevent me from being able to explore a diagnosis?

I went through the Right to Choose pathway (so a separate provider funded by NHS) and in the info pack they sent me, it says they can still diagnose without a family informant as it's only a small part of the assessment. I did my developmental questionnaire and assessment on my own and it wasn't a problem at all. I have a terrible memory and can't remember much from my childhood and it was fine, so it definitely won't stop you getting a diagnosis from my experience